Not a mom yet, but I have a toddler question.

MyLovelyUsername

My BF has a 3 year old son who cries any time he goes from daddy's house to mama's house. His mama says that she doesn't want him to be upset, but doesn't know how to do it withut keeping the son from his dad.

 

What would y'all suggest?

jettagurl

Try the blended families board, or maybe the single parents board - you'll get more insight in either of those places. 

IMO, its just something you have to work thru/deal with.  Change is hard....little kids thrive on routine...so keep it simple, don't make a big deal of it (maybe get clothes/toys to keep at BF's house so he's not "packing up" so much).

 

Jessys_Girl

jettagurl:

Try the blended families board, or maybe the single parents board - you'll get more insight in either of those places. 

IMO, its just something you have to work thru/deal with.  Change is hard....little kids thrive on routine...so keep it simple, don't make a big deal of it (maybe get clothes/toys to keep at BF's house so he's not "packing up" so much).

 

All of this.

At that age it was really important for me/DH to set up a routine for my stepkids.  They had their own room/toys/clothes at our house and at their mom's house.  So when it was time to switch houses for visitation, there wasn't much of a "switch" it was just "Oh, you're going to Daddy's tonight after daycare" and Daddy would pick them up and that was that.  Then at the end of visitation it was "Oh, mommy's picking you up today from daycare" and they were cool with that.

Sometimes there were a few tears here and there but we always reassured them "Daddy will see you soon" and "Mommy will see you soon".  We even sometimes used a calendar to show them "It's this many days til you visit daddy again" and crossed each day off as it went by.

Really, it's just all about the adjustment.  The kids got used to it after a while, that this is how their life is now.  And now they are 100% ok with it.