Mothers....vent

lilmisssunshine84

Anyones mother just being excessively controlling before you have your child (not trusting you to take care of your child ie) or putting down the choices you and your husband have made regarding your unborn child? I do not know what is up with mine but I told her I have had enough of her complaining and controlling! There is no reason to believe my husband and I (who both are extremely responsible, have our own place, car, great jobs, etc.) are irresponsible. Ugggggg!

ds1247

lilmisssunshine84:

Anyones mother just being excessively controlling before you have your child (not trusting you to take care of your child ie) or putting down the choices you and your husband have made regarding your unborn child? I do not know what is up with mine but I told her I have had enough of her complaining and controlling! There is no reason to believe my husband and I (who both are extremely responsible, have our own place, car, great jobs, etc.) are irresponsible. Ugggggg!

 We may be sisters.  I sent my mother a text with a picture of the pregnancy test and said "Congratulations your going to be a grandma!".  That was over a month ago, she still has not said one word to me or my H. She did, however find it necessary to tell my sister and my grandma, that she could not believe that we were going to ruin our lives.  This will be her first grandchild, I am 28 (DH too), we own our home, we both work and we have been married over a year.  I'm not sure what she was wanting, but I just believe she will never be satisfied. 

I'm sorry she reacted that way, but I hope you have a support system other than your mom.  My dad and stepmom and my ILs have really been helping me.  I have also decided not to update my mom on the progress of our "mistake", if she wants to know she can ask and I will tell her.  I refuse to make myself sad, trying to make her excited about our blessing.  GL.

Fergie+1

Yes, I had that problem. My mother went as far as to tell H that his grandmother was unimportant and since she was old, was going to die anyway- so we didn't need to go see her. (His granny is an AWESOME lady and will be 89 this year- that little spitfire's got another 20 years in her!) She tried to split us up, convinced my family that H was being controlling of me, said very nasty things in sincerity to him/us, such as "You two don't need to procreate, ever," and "Husbands come and go, but friends and family are forever." She's had 4 H's. She talked badly about H behind his back to our family, and despite my best efforts to get her to even be nothing but cordial to him (I had already spoken to him, and he'd agreed the same for my sake), she refused.

I gave her warnings that her behavior was NOT going to be tolerated, and that it was wearing on me and my relationship with him to continually put up with her BS. She thought I was kidding. Finally, I did what I had to do and followed through with my threats- I cut her out of my life. It's been hard, but my life's been drama-free, and H and I are still going strong. I made the right choice for me; yours doesn't have to be so drastic. I still have contact with the rest of my family, just not her. And lemme tell you- she's regretting every foul word she ever said to us now that we have a beautiful and happy son with another on the way.

As of now, it's been five years since I've spoken to her, and I refuse to open a line of communication until she realizes that a decent human being doesn't act that way towards another. This is not Teresa's World and we're just living in it, y'know? Just because she birthed me doesn't mean she has a right to dictate who I'm with or how I go about it- especially when she has been such a terrible example of both a wife and mother.

awantoch

I'm definitely in the same boat as some of you girls.  My mom hasn't really been controlling about it, but once we told her she made me cry (and not in a good way).  DH went off on her, because of the way she acted but everything is okay now.  We've been married for about a year and she just freaked out!  She asked me if this was planned because she knew I wouldn't be stupid enough not to take my pills!  Um... yes mother!  Geez. 

Then she had a freak out because she doesn't think I'll work, and how I worked so hard with my degrees and blah blah. Well, my parents didn't help my pay for my undergrad or graduate program so she has no room to talk there and if I decide to stay home, I have a feeling we won't be on speaking terms for quite some time. 

Now she's told my MIL that I look like my "old self" again because I lost about 8 pounds before my wedding.  She said I looked like I gained about 15 pounds... I gained 6!!!  I'm going crazy! 

She swears she's excited now... we'll see how this goes.  At least I don't have to see her again til Thanksgiving! 

tiffanythompson2407

My mom was upset when we got pregnant with DS#1, only because we just got married (married August 25 found out Sept 14... honeymoon baby for sure) and I had just started my 4th year university, but once i told her that i would be due after school was over she was ok with it. My MIL is the crazy one. She has never been happy with us having kids. I think it is because she had such problems and was only able to have one child and i am stupidly fertile. But once the babies are born, for some reason she is always pushy about having formula at her house :just in case" and is always concerned that the babies are not getting enough boob food. With DS#2, I made sure her freezer was full of pumped milk so she would not have an excuse (I was lucky and was able to pump 600oz before #2 was a month old)

lulling

This is why no one knows about our pregnancy still.