I am so very, deeply sorry. You may be alone physically, but spiritually you are connected to all us here in a very strong, caring network. Many thoughts are going out to you and your family today.
? J + J = 5/29/10.? TTC since 8/2010. Irregular cycles after stopping BCP. 1st BFP! 3/26/11. Missed M/C - D&C 5/2/11. Always missed: Our little Blueberry. It's Never Over. 2nd BFP! 9/3/11 on last unmedicated cycle! EDD: 5/11/12 1stBeta @13DPO = 289, 2ndBeta @15DPO = 619! ? Clementine Lorraine, we love you so much already! ?
Sending you huge hugs. I hope that you can find someone to talk to about this. I really do think it will help you to get it out. I?m so sorry you are going through this.
BFP #1 4/22/10 MC 5/5/10 (6w4d) EDD 12/25/10
BFP #2 10/19/10 CP 10/27/10 (4w6d) EDD 6/30/11
BFP #3 5/10/11 Lucas Abelardo born 12/29/11 at 37w3d
BFP #4 12/10/12 MMC 1/14/13 (9w3d) D&C 1/15/13 EDD 8/16/13
BFP #5 8/22/13 Lucia Elizabeth born 4/17/14 at 38w
I am so sorry you are in so much pain and feel that you can not talk to anyone... of course you can cry here, our shoulders may be far away IRL but we are here for you and your grief. I think it is so much more unhealthy not being able to talk your way through the emotions... I understand (not in the same sense of loss you feel, but I understand not being able to discuss it.)
I was 5 1/2 months PG when my Daddy (who had raised me and been my only father figure since I was 5) passed away after taking his own life. I was not allowed to greve, I was sedated for much of the time to "avoid hurting the baby" but I think they just made the process much worse and more drawn out. I finally melted down when my DD was born and had to have help taking care of her because I was going through my greving time then.
This past Aug 4th was the one year anniversary of losing our LO. I was at home alone with my son who was 3 and no one wanted to talk about it either. My DH refused to talk about it and to this day still does not know exactly how it happened or what I saw or felt. I on the other hand see everything over again. I was dying inside and had no one to turn to for support.
PLEASE talk and greve and vent as much as you need to, the stress of trying to hold it all in or keep it together for the sake of others will put more strain on you and your LO than talking it though and having support. Remember that no matter how much you feel misunderstood or hlepless we will listen and so many of us are sending you thought and prayers and all the love and support you can possibly send in these words. Please you make sure you eat a little and drink, it is easy to lose track of time and appetite, just sip or snack, but don't put too much stress on yourself trying to "be ok or normal" for every one esles sake. I pray for peace and healing for you and your family, I have been thinking of you since your first post dreading today's arrival.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling today and every day. We are always here to listen. Sending T&Ps that you can find some comfort and lots of big hugs.
BFP#1 11-26-10 MMC 1-13-11
BFP#2 6-8-11 Eleanor Beatrice born 2-15-12 BFP#3 9-4-13 Benjamin Lee born 4-28-14
I can not imagine the pain you are experiencing. We always seem to focus on making sure we get through our pregnancies, and everything is safe. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. So many young lives end much too and for no reason at all.Yes, you need to come to a place where you can live your life and care for your future child(ren) in a healthy way. No, you do not need to stop being sad for losing your daughter. That is a sadness and grief that will never, ever go away. There is a Kamryn Brooke shaped hole in your heart and your life. Nothing will ever fill that void, and nothing ever should.You are an amazing mother who does a wonderful job honoring her daughter's life. Gabriel will know his big sister because of your love for both of them. Please know you can always come here to talk about this pain. This is a safe place....and I also encourage you to find a support group or counselor to talk to in real life. There are many out there who specialize in grief counseling, especially for parents who have lost their children.Take care of yourself.
Justin + Laura 10.18.08 TTC #1 09.10/Dx PCOS 12.10/BFP #1 12.29.10/EDD 9.10.11/Missed m/c 2.3.11/D&C 2.15.11 “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”-Kahlil Gibran Cycle #1 4.2.11 + Clomid = BFN/Cycle #2 5.9.11 + Clomid + Trigger Shot = TWINS! Walter Allen and Eleanor Joan 1.15.12 Another baby on the way! 8.25.14
((HUGE HUGS)) This is exactly what we are here for. I can't imagine going through what you are going through, but we are here to listen to anything you need to get off your chest.
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your daughter.
TTC #1 since 8/09
BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12
I am so sorry for your loss and it makes me so sad to think of you sitting all alone in a dark room I wish I could come give you a hug IRL. Maybe if you don't want to see a counselor you could find a support group in your area for parents who have lost a child, they would understand what your going through and that way you would always have someone to turn to IRL.
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Re: Tears for my lost daughter. Death mentioned
TTC since 8/2010. Irregular cycles after stopping BCP.
1st BFP! 3/26/11. Missed M/C - D&C 5/2/11.
Always missed: Our little Blueberry. It's Never Over.
2nd BFP! 9/3/11 on last unmedicated cycle! EDD: 5/11/12
1stBeta @13DPO = 289, 2ndBeta @15DPO = 619!
? Clementine Lorraine, we love you so much already! ?
BFP #1 4/22/10 MC 5/5/10 (6w4d) EDD 12/25/10
BFP #2 10/19/10 CP 10/27/10 (4w6d) EDD 6/30/11
BFP #3 5/10/11 Lucas Abelardo born 12/29/11 at 37w3d
BFP #4 12/10/12 MMC 1/14/13 (9w3d) D&C 1/15/13 EDD 8/16/13
BFP #5 8/22/13 Lucia Elizabeth born 4/17/14 at 38w
DD born 4/3/10 BFP 4/9/11 missed mc @10w4d- forever loved
BFP 8/21/11 EDD 4/29/12
I am so sorry you are in so much pain and feel that you can not talk to anyone... of course you can cry here, our shoulders may be far away IRL but we are here for you and your grief. I think it is so much more unhealthy not being able to talk your way through the emotions... I understand (not in the same sense of loss you feel, but I understand not being able to discuss it.)
I was 5 1/2 months PG when my Daddy (who had raised me and been my only father figure since I was 5) passed away after taking his own life. I was not allowed to greve, I was sedated for much of the time to "avoid hurting the baby" but I think they just made the process much worse and more drawn out. I finally melted down when my DD was born and had to have help taking care of her because I was going through my greving time then.
This past Aug 4th was the one year anniversary of losing our LO. I was at home alone with my son who was 3 and no one wanted to talk about it either. My DH refused to talk about it and to this day still does not know exactly how it happened or what I saw or felt. I on the other hand see everything over again. I was dying inside and had no one to turn to for support.
PLEASE talk and greve and vent as much as you need to, the stress of trying to hold it all in or keep it together for the sake of others will put more strain on you and your LO than talking it though and having support. Remember that no matter how much you feel misunderstood or hlepless we will listen and so many of us are sending you thought and prayers and all the love and support you can possibly send in these words. Please you make sure you eat a little and drink, it is easy to lose track of time and appetite, just sip or snack, but don't put too much stress on yourself trying to "be ok or normal" for every one esles sake. I pray for peace and healing for you and your family, I have been thinking of you since your first post dreading today's arrival.
BFP#3 9-4-13 Benjamin Lee born 4-28-14
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
Justin + Laura 10.18.08
TTC #1 09.10/Dx PCOS 12.10/BFP #1 12.29.10/EDD 9.10.11/Missed m/c 2.3.11/D&C 2.15.11
“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”-Kahlil Gibran
Cycle #1 4.2.11 + Clomid = BFN/Cycle #2 5.9.11 + Clomid + Trigger Shot = TWINS!
Walter Allen and Eleanor Joan 1.15.12
Another baby on the way! 8.25.14
((HUGE HUGS)) This is exactly what we are here for. I can't imagine going through what you are going through, but we are here to listen to anything you need to get off your chest.
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your daughter.
BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12
~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~