If you have every-other-week visitation...

supermom2008

I'm in the early stages of the process but my attorney thinks that this will be the likely arrangement. (Friday-Sunday) If you have this arrangement, what time of the day on Friday is your LO picked up by your X, and what time on Sunday does he return your child?

CPA04

We currently have EOW Saturday nights only.  XH picks up LO at 10am and I pick him up at the end of the visit at 5pm Sunday.  (I have to drive 110 miles to pick up LO which SUCKS).

When we start doing EOW when LO is older, it will be XH picking him up at 7pm Friday and me picking him up at 5pm Sunday.

 

 

r9stedt

Well, we are different....

exH says Friday  nights aren't the weekends, and going through the divorce he would only agree to Saturday nights/Sunday nights only.

However, the dumbass didn't read the parenting agreement when he signed it, and we put in there the first full weekend of the month that he has L, he will take him Friday after school, saturday, sunday, and return him to school on MOnday morning.

Then, the other weekend (or weekends) that he has him, we exchange at around 9 am, and then he is returned to school on Monday mornings.

Every other weekend...

supermom2008

I'm hoping for a Friday night pickup from daycare (6.30pm) but have him back in my arms Sunday morning, after breakfast (10.00am) . Since I work Mon-Fri I'd really ike to see my son on Sunday before I have to go back to work. Do you think that is reasonable?

PrettyInPearls23

XH picks up DS from daycare on Friday's at 5:00 and returns him to me at 5:00pm on Sunday evening every other weekend. That's actually longer than the courts in our area recommend for his age (20 months) -- they "suggest" Sat-Sun, not Fri-Sun.

You can try to get your X to return LO in the morning on Sunday, but that's not really fair to him since it basically only leaves only one FULL day of visitation (Saturday) twice a month. You get your son all of the other days of the month...it's not fair to your LO either to have his time with his father cut short. Does it suck being away from our LO's while they're visiting with the other parent? Of course. But we have to put aside our selfish "wants" and do what's in the best interest of our children.

supermom2008

PrettyInPearls23:

XH picks up DS from daycare on Friday's at 5:00 and returns him to me at 5:00pm on Sunday evening every other weekend. That's actually longer than the courts in our area recommend for his age (20 months) -- they "suggest" Sat-Sun, not Fri-Sun.

You can try to get your X to return LO in the morning on Sunday, but that's not really fair to him since it basically only leaves only one FULL day of visitation (Saturday) twice a month. You get your son all of the other days of the month...it's not fair to your LO either to have his time with his father cut short. Does it suck being away from our LO's while they're visiting with the other parent? Of course. But we have to put aside our selfish "wants" and do what's in the best interest of our children.

 

I see your point, and if he were a very involved parent to begin with, that would be an issue. X is moving in with his parents, so the grandparents will take care of my son when he is visiting X. Even before divorce proceedings, if I ever left my DS with X for more than an hour or two, he'll just take him to the grandparents....and in the past three and a half years, my son has done overnights at my inlaws where he spends half the day infront of a TV. So it's not like X will be actively parenting our son. I work full-time, Mon-Fri, so most of the time I have him , I'm at work. I see him for about 2-3 hours a day on weekdays. The weekends are what I look forward to spend time with him so it's not fair to me either. Do you work part-time?

PrettyInPearls23

supermom2008:

PrettyInPearls23:

XH picks up DS from daycare on Friday's at 5:00 and returns him to me at 5:00pm on Sunday evening every other weekend. That's actually longer than the courts in our area recommend for his age (20 months) -- they "suggest" Sat-Sun, not Fri-Sun.

You can try to get your X to return LO in the morning on Sunday, but that's not really fair to him since it basically only leaves only one FULL day of visitation (Saturday) twice a month. You get your son all of the other days of the month...it's not fair to your LO either to have his time with his father cut short. Does it suck being away from our LO's while they're visiting with the other parent? Of course. But we have to put aside our selfish "wants" and do what's in the best interest of our children.

 

I see your point, and if he were a very involved parent to begin with, that would be an issue. X is moving in with his parents, so the grandparents will take care of my son when he is visiting X. Even before divorce proceedings, if I ever left my DS with X for more than an hour or two, he'll just take him to the grandparents....and in the past three and a half years, my son has done overnights at my inlaws where he spends half the day infront of a TV. So it's not like X will be actively parenting our son. I work full-time, Mon-Fri, so most of the time I have him , I'm at work. I see him for about 2-3 hours a day on weekdays. The weekends are what I look forward to spend time with him so it's not fair to me either. Do you work part-time?

No, I work full time, M-F. Just like you, I see my son maybe 2-3 hours on weekdays. Does it suck? You bet. BUT, I also know it's important for my son to have a relationship with his father. Unless your X will be putting your son directly in harms way, you will have to learn to accept his parenting style -- even if it means your son will be with the IL's at times.

You're still in the very beginning of everything and it WILL take time to adjust. But, it will also get easier with time as well. You mentioned in another post you're worried about feeling overwhelmed and not being able to do everything on your own. Take the weekends your son will be with his dad and ENJOY THEM. Use it to get caught up on other things during the week you couldn't do, or just relax. It's really hard to be away from your child at first, but after a while you start to adjust and you can learn to look forward to your "me" time. For me, I find that i'm more refreshed and energized to take on the single-mom role after the weekends my son is away. It gives me the time i need to get my head back on straight.

I fully understand your concerns with how your X will parent during his time. However, those will be HIS TIME and you can't stress over what he's doing or not doing. Like I mentioned, as long as he's not putting your son directly in harms way, there's not much you can do. Let him parent to the best of his abilities and enjoy the time with his son. Remind yourself that the parenting plan/schedule isn't about you -- it's about what is in the best interest of your son...and that's to have a positive relationship with both of his parents.

katie_cj

We live four hours apart.

I do all the driving.

The agreement says that I drop Jake off Friday after supper. Right now, I'm not working, so I drop him off around 6pm. When I work, it's likely to be later.

I pick Jake up at 4pm on Sunday's. 

Wedding18

i get her off the bus every friday at 3:45.  He picks her up on his weekends shortly after that but usually by 5:00.  He was dropping her back off t me on Sunday by 7:30. 

His weekly day is Thursday so on his weekend he has her from Th-Sun.

She started Daisy scouts today though and her meetings are at 4:00 on Sunday so I will be picking her up there at 5:00 now.  

Before she was in real school he would keep her until Monday am and drop her at preschool/daycare.  

supermom2008

PrettyInPearls23:

supermom2008:

PrettyInPearls23:

XH picks up DS from daycare on Friday's at 5:00 and returns him to me at 5:00pm on Sunday evening every other weekend. That's actually longer than the courts in our area recommend for his age (20 months) -- they "suggest" Sat-Sun, not Fri-Sun.

You can try to get your X to return LO in the morning on Sunday, but that's not really fair to him since it basically only leaves only one FULL day of visitation (Saturday) twice a month. You get your son all of the other days of the month...it's not fair to your LO either to have his time with his father cut short. Does it suck being away from our LO's while they're visiting with the other parent? Of course. But we have to put aside our selfish "wants" and do what's in the best interest of our children.

 

I see your point, and if he were a very involved parent to begin with, that would be an issue. X is moving in with his parents, so the grandparents will take care of my son when he is visiting X. Even before divorce proceedings, if I ever left my DS with X for more than an hour or two, he'll just take him to the grandparents....and in the past three and a half years, my son has done overnights at my inlaws where he spends half the day infront of a TV. So it's not like X will be actively parenting our son. I work full-time, Mon-Fri, so most of the time I have him , I'm at work. I see him for about 2-3 hours a day on weekdays. The weekends are what I look forward to spend time with him so it's not fair to me either. Do you work part-time?

No, I work full time, M-F. Just like you, I see my son maybe 2-3 hours on weekdays. Does it suck? You bet. BUT, I also know it's important for my son to have a relationship with his father. Unless your X will be putting your son directly in harms way, you will have to learn to accept his parenting style -- even if it means your son will be with the IL's at times.

You're still in the very beginning of everything and it WILL take time to adjust. But, it will also get easier with time as well. You mentioned in another post you're worried about feeling overwhelmed and not being able to do everything on your own. Take the weekends your son will be with his dad and ENJOY THEM. Use it to get caught up on other things during the week you couldn't do, or just relax. It's really hard to be away from your child at first, but after a while you start to adjust and you can learn to look forward to your "me" time. For me, I find that i'm more refreshed and energized to take on the single-mom role after the weekends my son is away. It gives me the time i need to get my head back on straight.

I fully understand your concerns with how your X will parent during his time. However, those will be HIS TIME and you can't stress over what he's doing or not doing. Like I mentioned, as long as he's not putting your son directly in harms way, there's not much you can do. Let him parent to the best of his abilities and enjoy the time with his son. Remind yourself that the parenting plan/schedule isn't about you -- it's about what is in the best interest of your son...and that's to have a positive relationship with both of his parents.

 

I was talking to my mom on the phone today about how I don't know how to handle not seeing my son on those weekends, and she said the exact same thing to me-to enjoy the weekend, rest, take care of myself. Thank you for the great advice. I think I really needed to hear it from another mom who is actually going through this, as my mom didn't have to be away from her kids.