Soon-to-be-single mom...DOn't know how to cope.

supermom2008

After 5 years of marriage my husband wants out. We have a 3.5 year old son. Since his birth, H and I have been living like roommates. I tried to get him to go to counseling but he was against it...and 3.5 years later, here we are. He told me he wanted a divorce on 8/15 but I asked him to reconsider. He said he would but filed on August 31st.  He filed and I got the paperwork in the mail two days ago. I'm heartbroken, angry, scared. I have 2-3 friends that I can rely on but no family. My family lives overseas. We moved to his home state 3.5 years ago so he has his parents here and a huge support system. I was a stay at home mom for 3.5 years and just went back to work in July. Now I see that he was just waiting for me to find a job to file for divorce. He hasn't moved out yet, but says he will in a few weeks. I can't stand the thought of not seeing my son every day and night. How do you ladies handle this? I get through the work day and stay composed and I don't cry in front of my son, so I bottle everything up and cry myself to sleep at night.

Is anyone doing this truly on their own? As in no family around to help? I really need to hear from some moms who don't have family to help, and how they manage.

CPA04

First off ((HUGS)).  You're in the worst part of the process right now.  It WILL get better, I promise!

I essentially do things on my own from a financial, logistical, every day perspective for DS.  I don't have family here and although I know I have several friends who would gladly help with anything I need regarding LO, most times I just need someone to vent to.  I'm on mommy duty 24/7 (except for a few hours a month when XH has visitation).  I'm ok with that - I find strength and pride in knowing I am doing it all by myself and succeeding at it.

Will you be able to move somewhere with a better support system after the divorce?

supermom2008

Thank you for your response! The only other place I would have a better support system is in my native country where my parents live but since my son have to stay in the US that is not an option. Can you give me a few pointers on how you make it work? I'm so tired at the end of the day...Since I retunred to work, H and I have been taking turns with dinner, bath, bedtime etc. I can't wrap my mind around doing it all from morning 'til night.

CPA04

supermom2008:

Thank you for your response! The only other place I would have a better support system is in my native country where my parents live but since my son have to stay in the US that is not an option. Can you give me a few pointers on how you make it work? I'm so tired at the end of the day...Since I retunred to work, H and I have been taking turns with dinner, bath, bedtime etc. I can't wrap my mind around doing it all from morning 'til night.

Honestly, it's hard to specify things I do.  I try to plan ahead when it comes to meals so I know what I'm making prior to walking in the door at night.  I have learned to let the little things go and focus on what HAS to be done.  Also - try to make good use of your time (I sometimes struggle with this...).  Run errands and get groceries before you pick LO up from daycare.  During naps, prep meals, do laundry, mow the yard, whatever needs to be done.  Oh - and try to sleep.  I struggle with that too.

Not sure if any of that helps...good luck!

lauragetsfit

*Hugs* We are in the same boat, girl. It's only been 3 days since he walked out on me (an my unborn baby), but I have hope that it will get better for me. If it will get better for me, it will get better for you. Look at it as a new chapter in your life. I'm actually going down to the courthouse today to get my divorce moving...So, we'll see how it goes Take care and I'm always here if you want to talk, too.