What an awful day today was

CaptainSerious

Let me start out by saying that at least Ali hope is not lost.  There's still a chance J will join our family...eventually.

There's been some major flooding in NJ, and especially near my work, which borders the Delaware River.  I knew I'd have a long commute because of flooding issues and because the garage to our building was preemptively closed the night before.  So, a friend and I decided to commute together to make the traffic more comfortable.

On our 4.5-hour drive in (my commute is usually 40 minutes to an hour one-way), I heard from our case worker.  She had our lawyer in Peru check on our case with the Peruvian authorities, and I was excited to hear what she had to say about our progress--until I heard it.  They are requesting a follow-up chest x-ray for my husband (because he must have breathed during the first one, causing it to be somewhat blurry) despite the fact that the report said his lungs were clear and the doctor certified that he is TB-free.  Also, they are not apparently requiring all applicants to submit a "medical certificate of mental health" from a medical doctor.  Apparently, our homestudy and extensive psychological report are no longer enough, because someone read somewhere in the regulations that a "medical certificate of mental health" is required, and they are interpreting that to mean that the document must come from a medical doctor.

Who'd of thought that the chest x-ray was the easier part of this?  Our lawyer is trying to convince the Peruvian authorities that a letter from our physician is enough to satisfy this mental health requirement, because psychiatrists in the US don't do this kind of thing (psychologists do, which up until last month was okay, but apparently no longer suffice).

The Peruvian authorities told us they are close to done with our review, and although more may come up, they wanted us to be able to get a head-start on this stuff before they issue their official "observations" (requests for more information).  Now we are scrambling around trying to get both these things by the beginning of next week, because--of course--they announced the next matching session today as well--and it's September 27th--so the beginning of the week, which leaves us even less time to get all these documents authenticated, shipped to Peru, authenticated again, translated, submitted, and reviewed.

It seems near impossible to get all this done by the 27th, and if we don't, we will have to expect that we won't be matched until a time that will have us traveling during or after the December holidays.    The only glimmer of hope in all of this is that it's apparent that they are expediting our case, but it might just not be fast enough for everything to happen this year.          

To top it all off, as I was frantically making calls, setting up appointments, and making arrangements to make this all happen, I was told we were being sent home early from work.  I know this should seem like a blessing, but I was only there for 2 hours, and spend over 5.5 in the car!  I thought I had everything in place for my husband to get the x-ray tonight, only to find out that the number they gave me for the doctor to fax the prescription was the admin office, and by the time we discovered the mistake, both the doctor and the administrative staff were gone for the day.  Almost every errand I tried to run today was difficult for some reason, my husband and I are both depressed and it's affecting our interactions, and M decided that today was the perfect day to give us a hard time (read: manipulative partial tantrum) at bedtime.

We're leaving town tomorrow for a weekend-long wedding, and I still have to finish packing, buy some last-minute stuff, have a conversation with M's teacher, meet the doctor with a notary (at 1 p.m., an hour away from home),  be around for to drop-off and pick-up M to/from school (30 minutes from home), and hopefully get a chance to do my nails and make myself presentable before we head out of town for the rehearsal dinner.  At least I told my boss I'm not fighting the traffic again tomorrow and I took the day off!

I can't tell you how awful this all feels, on top of everything I'm already dealing with.  We had M evaluated for learning problems, and now that we know what's wrong, we are trying to find specialized tutors in the area, because he will need at least 2 hours a week each of reading and math tutoring.  This is in addition to school, unless we decide to move him to public school where he could get more special ed services during the day.  But how can we pull him out of the school in which he's thrived, finally has consistent friends, and feels comfortable?  And if we do, do we do it now or after our trip to Peru (this is complicated by the fact that he would be moved twice, and also that when we come back his whole world will be in upheaval because of the new sibling).

I just wish today never happened and that I could get a do-over.  You know, with much better news.  Something more like, "they're done, and planning to approve you at the next matching session!"

GAH!  Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

Art Teacher

Wow, Captain, I'm sorry it was such a lousy day.  I wish I could give you a hug right now.  I've heard so much about the flooding out there; we have good friends who live on the Neshaminy Creek.  And my husband's boss/coworkers all work out of the Philadelphia office - none of them made it into work because of flooded roads near their homes.  What a bad way to start things off with that crazy commute.

I'm sorry they are requesting so much more info now.  Doesn't seem to make sense.  It sounds like you're doing everything you can in your power to make it happen,though.

If M is thriving in the school he is in, I would be inclined to keep him there and work with the tutors.  Then you can reevaluate as you need to, but at least for now, he seems happy there and has consistency.

I'm really sorry.  I hope things fall into place for guys. 

wille2b

(((hugs)))

hillaree

That is an awful day and I am SO sorry. Thinking of you and praying for a miracle with the timing of everything!

Ranitasback

Praying for you and praying that today and this weekend are much much better days!

hlsgrad

That is a terrible day, but hopefully that means your luck is about to turn around...and of course with days like today you'll be able to appreciate the good ones even more

 

Chele

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Hopefully things will turn around soon.

msditz00

<<hugs>>  I'm so sorry things are difficult for you right now. 

Is it bad that I would consider having my husband fake an illness ("Doc I have been coughing  so hard I can hardly breathe!") just to get a chest xray done in the ER?