Blargh.

pierogi25

Today is one of those days that I wish God, fate, karma, whathaveyou, didn't think I could "handle" the challenge of having an SN kid. It's all well and good that the pedi, other friends, parents, etc., say, "you guys are so good for this, you're so patient, you're strong enough, you're the perfect parents to handle a SN kid, etc."

Don't get me wrong, I love my DD. And most days, I can see all the sunshine she offers, and none of the rainclouds. Most days. And then, a day like today comes along where it's like a freakin hurricane of crap and I am flooded with pessimism and anger at the universe and just general feeling sorry for myself. I know it could be worse. I love DD to pieces. And I do handle her challenges, our challenges, and 99.9% of the time, I am ok and can coexist with ASD.

 

I wouldn't trade her for the world, but that doesn't stop me from wishing she didn't have ASD and all the goodies that come along with it.

I don't want to handle it. I wish I wasn't "strong enough". This is my "reward" for being a strong, patient person? 

Yea. Call the waahmbulance. It's just one of those days...I coexist with this ASD thing, i can handle it most days but today? No. I just want to cry. And maybe throw a tantrum. 

 Sorry for the pity party.  I just feel like I can't say that to anyone else because they come back with the, "Oh but you do so WELL with her/you do such a great job/you;re so patient/blahblahblah." THAT DOESNT HELP.

And if I can't be honest with you guys, who CAN I be honest with? Thanks for listening...

pierogi25

Boo....I'm sorry auntie. At least we know we're not alone. <hugs>

ToastieSimons

Anybody who tells you they never have those days is lieing.  We all had hopes and dreams for our children that they may never experience.  And not crazy, over the top dreams, realistic dreams. 

And always being faced with children who are acheiving those dreams without a single hesitation or difficulty eventually wears you down.  Do you have anyone you can call to watch DD?  For me those are the days that I need to get out, and recharge.  Therapy, engaging my child, grieving and dealing with the SN wear me down.  When I feel burnt out is most often when those days come.

I allow myself out of the house without DS, I usually get coffee, walk around, cry, etc.  When I come back I feel much more strengthened to jump back in.

July_2009

I am sorry this day has been rough for you. If it is any consolation, I have many of those days and I wish things were different,some days all i wish for is peace at home...no tantrums, no non-sense day. But it is what it is and try to make the best of what we have. Don't get me wrong, till date DS is THE BEST thing that EVER happened to me. But that doesn't keep me from having varied thoughts. Just glad to know there are other moms who feel the same. 

 BTW, You have a PM.