Dad's Last Name ~ Nope!

DRIAM7

I will be a single Mom when I deliver my baby, but the father is still around whenever we can actually get along nowadays.  I know he will not stick around long enough to help during trying times, so I already resent him.  He knew when we began dating that I was a stickler for NOT giving a child the father's last name if we were not married.  Now that I am pregnant with HIS child, he thinks it's going to be different.  I do not plan to give the baby his last name, but don't want to push him back further from the minimal contact he will already have, by doing this (not carrying his last name).  How do I break it to him that our child will NOT carry his last name because we will not be married?  Do I even break it to him, or complete the birth certificate later AFTER leaving the hospital and 'sneak' and do it?

LovelyMommy91

I think if you sneak to do it it'll just make the situation worse than already you expect it to be. My son's father and I are still in a relationship, but I made it clear while I was still pregnant that our son would have my last name.

mdotm0904

I definitely wouldn't sneak and do it. That implies that you're doing something wrong by not giving the baby your last name. At my hospital you have to turn in birth certificate papers before leaving so there's no way to "sneak" & do it later anyway. Let him know that you understand his feelings about the last name But you've made your decision. And you hope he understands. If the last name of your child determines his involvement he's an asss anyway. But you're filling out the papers whether he chooses to sign & acknowledge the child is up to him. I wasnt married & my daughter has my last name. We fought about it my entire pregnancy & I wish I hadnt given it so much energy during that special time & just made up my mind and stuck with it without allowing myself to be manipulated by him. Good luck

punnkdork

Just bite the bullet and be upfront about the issue with him. The way I look at it we need to be able to confront these types of issues head on and we should start setting boundaries as early as possible with these guys. It's in your best interest and your baby's.