Torn on what to do

jmepurple

According to our CS paperwork, Lil D's "father"  is responsible for all medical expenses after $200.  I just received 2 ambulance bills totalling $1,893.  Domestic Relations told me all I have to do is send him copies of the bills certified and he will have 30 days to pay them, or else it will be considered contempt of court. 

Although I can not afford to pay these bills, I am afraid that if I send them to him it will triger him possibly wanting to see DS.  This terrifies me.  He has wanted nothing to do with him, has not shown any interest.  With Lil D's asthma and other medical issues I am terrified at the thought of him getting visitation and not knowing whether he would be taken care of properly or not. 

The logical side of me says that there is a good probability that he will be piissy about having to pay the bills and continue to not have contact with us.  But the emotional, protective side of me is scared shiitless.

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PrettyInPearls23

beccaga16:

Most likely paying these bills will trigger nothing except anger and annoyance from him... not a desire to see his son.

This. You shouldn't be responsible for those bills all by yourself.

jmepurple

beccaga16:

Most likely paying these bills will trigger nothing except anger and annoyance from him... not a desire to see his son.

 

That is what I am thinking...but I can't help that side of me that is just unwanting of his presence in our lives.

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jmepurple

beccaga16:

Do you have a custody agreement or just CS?

If you do not have a custody agreement I HIGHLY doubt he will want to spend the money to file for one in court.

 

No custody agreement. just CS.  My lawyer advised me not to pursue it.  That if he wanted visitation to make him pay for it.  Thanks for pulling the rational part of my brain out of my ars. I have been a stressed mess lately.  Lil D's asthma has been in full swing with all of this rain and moisture.  So when the bills came I just started freaking out just at the thought of contact with this father. 

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mama bear of 2

Is it possible for the hospital to bill him directly? Then if he has issues with the bill he can contact them and you don't have to deal with him at all.

 

jmepurple

mama bear of 2:

Is it possible for the hospital to bill him directly? Then if he has issues with the bill he can contact them and you don't have to deal with him at all.

 

No, in order for them to be considered apart of my CS case I have to send a copy to him certified and a copy plus a copy of receipt of a certified letter being sent and signed by him to the D.R. office.  Calling 911 because your baby can't breath is scary enough.  Having to deal with this douche on top of it royally sucks!  It is what it is.  I am going to the post office today and just doing it. 

sweetie0228

Ask your enforcement officer if you can submit the bills to domestic relations and have them added to his arrears.

In PA, I'm able to do this.  There is a form online and I submit that with the paid invoices and he owes the money as part of CS.  I never have to talk to submit anything to him.  The state does.

jmepurple

sweetie0228:

Ask your enforcement officer if you can submit the bills to domestic relations and have them added to his arrears.

In PA, I'm able to do this.  There is a form online and I submit that with the paid invoices and he owes the money as part of CS.  I never have to talk to submit anything to him.  The state does.

I live in PA.  I would much rather do that then have any type of direct contact with him.  Thank you!  I will contact my E.O. and ask about this. 

BMenz

jmepurple:

sweetie0228:

Ask your enforcement officer if you can submit the bills to domestic relations and have them added to his arrears.

In PA, I'm able to do this.  There is a form online and I submit that with the paid invoices and he owes the money as part of CS.  I never have to talk to submit anything to him.  The state does.

I live in PA.  I would much rather do that then have any type of direct contact with him.  Thank you!  I will contact my E.O. and ask about this. 

I just wanted to add. Speak with your EO to verify what the max % they will put in arrears. BD is responsible for 66% of all uncovered medical expenses.....if I ask for these bills to be put towards arrears they're only allowed to put 20% max of the total bill.  My EO advised me to send the affidavit to him to collect first because then he would be required to pay more than the 20%

jmepurple

BMenz:

jmepurple:

sweetie0228:

Ask your enforcement officer if you can submit the bills to domestic relations and have them added to his arrears.

In PA, I'm able to do this.  There is a form online and I submit that with the paid invoices and he owes the money as part of CS.  I never have to talk to submit anything to him.  The state does.

I live in PA.  I would much rather do that then have any type of direct contact with him.  Thank you!  I will contact my E.O. and ask about this. 

I just wanted to add. Speak with your EO to verify what the max % they will put in arrears. BD is responsible for 66% of all uncovered medical expenses.....if I ask for these bills to be put towards arrears they're only allowed to put 20% max of the total bill.  My EO advised me to send the affidavit to him to collect first because then he would be required to pay more than the 20%

 

Ty!  I will definatly look into this.  I really appreciate all of the advice from you guys.