How long to adjust to preschool?

kpips20

DS just started a preschool program 2 mornings/wk and his first day was great. Today however, I basically got a lecture from the teacher b/c he wouldn't sit for storytime and "ran around all day." Granted he's incredibly active and just a busy guy in general, but it sort of rubbed me the wrong way for her to expect him to sit quietly and follow every rule on his second day (esp when he hasn't been there for a week b/c of the holiday). She gave me a list of things I need to reinforce to him before he goes again on Monday. I asked if he was misbehaving or just being active and she said there isn't a difference in a class setting...

 How long did it take your kids to adjust to the rules/setting at preschool?

PenelopelePhew

A couple of weeks to get the routine.  But, it was DS first attempt at a group setting, and his sister was born the week before---I think we had the kinks really out after 2 months or so.  But his teacher was really supportive and searching for ways to help...I didn't like the attitude of your teacher.  Active is not the same as misbehaving....  grrr....

kmhunt11

Is there another class he can be placed in?  There is a frigging difference between misbehavior and high activity.  If she doesn't realize this, she doesn't understand boys.  I highly recommend a book called "The Trouble With Boys."  It's about how teachers don't always know how to deal with boys because, well most of us never were little boys!  If she's going to try to stifle what makes your son unique, I would take it as a huge warning sign that she is not a good fit.  Yes, he needs to learn to sit quietly, but you're right- that takes time.  And also, there are ways to teach it and enforce it.  If I were you, I would ask to observe the class during circle time from the hallway (where your son can't see you).  I would be curious how she is redirecting your son.  This also gives you the opportunity to say to your son "Buddy, you know how you were doing (A) during circle time today?  What should you have been doing?"  He's not bad for not wanting to sit still!  Argh.  

mabma80

That teacher is expecting to much.  Most understand that if it's the child's first experience in a school setting, they work with them for a bit.  It took DS1 his first two weeks to get adjusted.  Mind you, he was only going twice a week for three hours last year. Now he's going three days a week for three hours, and it's old hat to him now.

I suggested to talk with the teacher in a little meeting maybe with the principal, and rework the expectations for him.  They have to give him a chance to adjust. 

kpips20

Yeah, DH had to talk me down off the ledge when I called to tell him about it. This is his first group setting and I'm hoping that he'll figure it out once he goes more often. I was just shocked that the teacher's expectations of him were so high already (or maybe mine are too low?). I thought they'd give us a few weeks at least to get acclimated.

Court0026

At least a couple of weeks!  I taught pre-k for 3 years (2 classes a day) and it was not uncommon for kids to still be working on procedures, sitting, etc. for even a couple of months.  They are so young! 

shopgirl78

We just entered the 3rd week of school and my son is having issues also.  This is his first year in Prek3.  He:

1.  spit at the teacher the first week of school when she asked him to do something he didn't want to  2.  kicked at the teacher the second week of school (sounded like a tantrum) and ran away from the line.  I think he didn't want to come in from recess  3.  today, he threw another fit when someone helped him clean up the trains.  He wanted to do it by himself. 

He has awesome days between and we talk to him everyday about the behavior the teacher and we (as parents) expect from him at school.  The teacher and I got together and had a conference and agreed on ways to help assist DS.   I think for the most part my son needs time.   Time for adjustment.  Time to learn his new schedule and learn and apply classroom expectations.  Time to mature (is my kid the only 3-4 year old that tantrums??) I never imagined it would be this hard as he is used to all day daycare.   They state no issues there. 

I don't find your sons behaviors to be outside the norm.  He will get it in time. I'd talk to him about the expectations of behavior in the classroom and conference with the teacher if it continues. 

kmhunt11

I don't think it's a matter or high or low expectations, but appropriate and inappropriate ones.  Please don't even let a teacher make your or especially your son feel like he is "bad" or "badly behaved".  Do we want all children to be the same?  Nope!  

n&bcarlson

Your son isn't even three yet?  I think her expectations are a little high.  I would work on reinforcing the things she suggested, but seriously on day 2 of class I think it's expecting a lot of him to sit perfectly.  He'll get it in time.  And there's a big difference between a kid getting fidgety and wandering around compared to one who is running and screaming and tearing papers off the wall during circle time.  It's fair for you to ask which one was closer to how he was behaving.

NJLH

If thats how it works, my girls may be sent to military preschool. Mine almost 3 year olds start next week. They've never been away from me but I do know at storytimes, they're terrors. They dont sit still for a minute. I'm curious how this will go!

outnumbered

I worked as a aid in a 2 year old preschool room.  Only a handful of kids were able to sit still for circle time the first two to three months.  Those children were more reserved not more well behaved.  Preschool is about learning to listen, sit in a circle, stand in line, and share.  Honestly your son's teacher does not sound very nice.

kpips20

Thanks everyone. I have a hard time believing he's the only kid in the whole 2 y/o program that doesn't sit still all day at this point. I'm going to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt and see how things go over the next few weeks. I'll try and talk to her again in early Oct and reassess how he's doing before deciding on a next move.