Conversation at the park today

Luv4Minnesota

I met a woman at the park today and we were making small talk.  Here's a snipet of our conversation.

Her: How old is your baby?

Me: About 2 1/2 weeks old.

Her: Oh wow!  You're up and out at 2 weeks, that's great.

Me: Yeah!  I had a VBAC this time and the recovery has been so much better than my c-section.  It's wonderful.

Her: They let you have a vaginal birth after you had a c-section last time?

Me: I didn't give them a choice.  I had to fight for it and do a lot of work to get it but yes, they "let" me.

Her: Oh!

I was shocked, and I don't know why, that she was surprised that you could have a VBAC.  I know there are still hospitals out there with VBAC bans and I know many of us have had to fight to birth the way our bodies were designed, but for some reason this personal conversation just took me by surprise. 

cwifekmom

Everyone that I tell I had or when I was pregnant that I was planning to VBAC were shocked.  Everyone says I am the only person they know to do it.  I know there are a ton of women in this area who have, because my doctor does a lot of them, but it's still not that common around here.  A lot of people do not know that you have choices other than an automatic rcs.

lostaspen

A lot of people still think once a c/s, always a c/s!  About a month before I had DS via c/s, I was talking with my FIL, and I don't know how it came up, but he said that statement, and I told him how that was no longer true.  A couple weeks after having DS MIL called to tell me that some cousin-or-other of FIL had had a VBAC.  I was like...okay?  Congrats to her... 

LurkieLoo

Everyone here that I tell that I'm having a VBAC thinks I'm crazy too.  It comes up in coversation when people ask about the birth because we have to go to a hospital in another state that is an hour away since no one around here does it.  People first ask what a VBAC is and then look at me crazy and then after it settles in they ask "is that even safe?"  "no, its not.  I think its a better plan to put my kid and my lives in danger though."  eye roll... you will not believe how many times I've been asked if its safe. There is so much misinformation out there.  I actually like talking about it- even if people think I'm crazy for it, maybe they will go home and look up actual VBAC facts and it will become more popular. 

novilise

See, I'm always scared in reverse! I had my 2nd c-section, 6 weeks ago and again this time, I felt fine after 4 days. We were outside walking within the week and really up and going by 2 weeks.(And the only thing that held me back a little at all was breastfeeding...so many problems, pain, low supply, fear, mastitis, etc, each time!)

 I'm afraid I'd be one of those people who'd have a crazy, bad recovery from a vaginal birth since my c-section recoveries have gone so well!

But,yeah, I've noticed, too, that a lot of people still don't realize that you can have a VBAC. 

MAprincess

I have a friend who just started MEDICAL SCHOOL and didn't realize it was an option.  I hope he learns something in those classes.

iris427

People are often surprised when they hear I had a VBAC too.  Only 8% of women in the US who have had a prior cesarean have a VBAC so it makes sense that most people have never met someone who had one.

Oh and I was still walking like I'd been kicked in the crotch 2 weeks after my VBAC, so good for you  

lmjt

My hospital delivers roughly 7,000 babies a year, and last year they did 59 VBACs. 

I really hope to be one of those 59 this year! 

ILoveRunning

lmjt:

My hospital delivers roughly 7,000 babies a year, and last year they did 59 VBACs. 

I really hope to be one of those 59 this year! 

 Hoping you'll be one of those 59!

 

Adrienne4.11

It really is amazing how many people think it's not even an option. I was lucky enough to have a sister who had a VBAC about 10 years ago who was incredibly supportive throughout my last pregnancy. Almost everyone else wanted to question my decisions, and the safety of my choice. It's sad how many women blindly listen to doctors who say the only option is repeat c-section instead of getting the facts. 

honkytonk_kid

LurkieLoo:

Everyone here that I tell that I'm having a VBAC thinks I'm crazy too.  It comes up in coversation when people ask about the birth because we have to go to a hospital in another state that is an hour away since no one around here does it.  People first ask what a VBAC is and then look at me crazy and then after it settles in they ask "is that even safe?"  "no, its not.  I think its a better plan to put my kid and my lives in danger though."  eye roll... you will not believe how many times I've been asked if its safe. There is so much misinformation out there.  I actually like talking about it- even if people think I'm crazy for it, maybe they will go home and look up actual VBAC facts and it will become more popular. 

Exactly! That's the one that gets to me most. I don't care if people think I'm crazy for wanting a vaginal birth or a med-free birth, or for wanting to go with a MW, or if they personally would rather schedule a RCS. But "Are you suuuuuure that's safe?" just infuriates me. 

eta: Not legitimate questions, as I realize many people just have no idea VBAC is an option. It's the condescending questions I can't stand.

BlinkingLight1

Good for you! She learned something

I got "oh, they will LET you do that?!" a lot when I was pregnant (and I still do occasionally when I tell someone I had a VBAC) and I always respond with "they didn't LET me do anything, it's my body." I'm sure that makes me sound a little rude but it's how I feel!