Vent- Am I overreacting?

darmca

So on Wednesday I starting supplementing with EBM and in 2 days he ate my entire 40oz freezer stash. I weighed him on Friday morning and he gained 7oz- great right? Now I have to supplement with formula because I am out of milk.

Well the only problem is DH's family. Normally I get along wonderfully with them but his aunt (who we are very close to) has been making some comments lately that have been bugging me. Before we started supplementing she made several comments about how my milk must not 'have enough nutrition' for him. Then when he gained she said it must be the formula that made him gain weight (he didn't even have formula until after he was weighed- he gained weight because he ate 40oz more than he has been). Now she keeps saying that maybe my nurse-practitioner will just tell me that I have to give up breastfeeding and formula feed only (we have an appointment on Tuesday for me to get more domperidone).

They make me feel like I am starving him by breastfeeding, even though I am supplementing to make sure he gets enough nutrition. Grr..... Am I overreacting? We're going over for dinner tonight and I really might lose it if I get one more comment like that...

JUSTBEYOURSELF

I would be really irritated with her responses. I would just tell her that he is doing just fine and change the subject and if she mentioned it one more time that is when I would let into her. 

my mil was not supportive when I said I was going to breast feed. she made a comment "we will see how long that last" um okay.... she was the same way with my sister in law. not sure why she was against it till on here someone mentioned how in the 70's breast feeding was not common or as common as it is today. my sil keeps telling me that my mil didn't do it and she may regret it or just does not understand it.

I swear as soon as we all had babies everyone has an opinion on what is right and wrong.

hey my coworkers talk about how my boobs are not huge enough (38d) so my baby must not be getting enough. yeah so my boobs are the talk of the office. I could be a 32A and have enough milk boob size has nothing to do with it! 

huge hugs and I hope your supply builds up. have you tried feungreek? this worked for me early on and I have not had to take it since. also bare baby bare mommy time works too. also maybe you need to rejuvenate and get some rest. have your dh watch the little one (preferably out of the house so you can truly rest) 

check this board out my friend runs it for breastfeeding and she is a LC specialist. she has helped me and a ton of other women in the CT area.

https://forums.ivillage.com/t5/Working-and-Pumping/ct-p/iv-ppworkpump 

NeverEnoughTime

I do not discuss how/what I feed my child with anyone except my husband an dmy doctor.  I know its a little late for you, but noone has any right to say anything about what you do.  You arent overreacting. I would just come up with a response for tonight, one generic one like "Were going to talk to NP about that, thanks". Say it with a smile and be done with it.  Its not their business.

Angel0423

ugh! I'm sorry! I think I would have had to say "I really don't wish to discuss this with you", and repeat the phrase at any subsequent visit where she decided to bring it up.

tconwilson

I have found that generally these people mean well...but it just isn't the kind of support we breastfeeding mothers need.  We need encouraging support FOR US, not for the baby, because we are already doing what is best for baby by BF'ing...but we need support to keep going when it is difficult or when we need to make decisions like when to make changes if things aren't going well.  

My son quit nursing and I made the difficult decision to exclusively pump because I know breast milk is best.  A lot of people think this is crazy...so I go to a breastfeeding support group to get the positive support and encouragement that I need and I try not to discuss feeding with anyone else.  This has really helped me.  Is there a lactation consultant near you that may have information on a support group for you?  Hang in there, you are doing everything fine and your child is thriving so you deserve a pat on the back! 

darmca

I just decided to do the "Yes" no eye-contact route and hope she got the point, which she kind of seemed to.

This is how she imagines the conversation

Me: Well Dr. I really enjoy breastfeeding and want to make it work.

Dr: Well your supply may have been low, so instead of all the pills, pumping, etc you've been doing, I would like you to just stop breastfeeding and give him formula, and some rice cereal. The AAP, WHO, Health Canada are all wrong, you need to give him some nice formula instead of your inferior quality, insufficient supply of breastmilk.

Um yah. . .

And in good news he only needed 4oz of formula and 1.5oz of BM isesupplemented today so the dom, fenugreek, blessed thistle, milkmaid tea, hospital grade pump seem to be working (Wednesday and Thursday he took 20oz extra BM, Friday 4oz BM and 9oz formula, Saturday 9oz formula and 1oz BM)

pinkflipflops44

this weekend it was suggested to me by 3 different people to put my daughter on formula now that i was working because i made it 3 months and that c overed her immune system anyway.  oh and they just know she will take formula from my husbandand anyone else in a bottle waaay better than my breastmilk.

what i wanted to say besides my .. 'eh we're fine but thanks..' wassss.. 'gee sorry that because you didnt breastfeed / only did it for 3 months you feel like you need to make me quit now too."

people are stupid.