"But ______ says" - question

IkesHawaiian06

Em is in this phase where she always says, "But (insert name here) says ________" when she's trying to get her way. For instance, I say "No, you cannot have the cookie right now, it's almost dinner" and she says, "Well, Daddy says I can have a cookie before dinner". Is this really a phase and is there something I can do to end it? She uses "Grandma says" a lot! It's driving me crazy!

hepcats

Ha! Nice. I would probably be like "OK let's go ask daddy if that's what he said" or "let's go call grandma to see if that's what she said." Because you know they didn't say it. If that doesn't work, I'd probably try to use some logic. "Ok well if you have a cookie before dinner, then do you think you'd actually be hungry for dinner? Will you grow bigger with the cookie or with dinner?" Because you know all kids love feeling older/bigger.

doublem

I don't think it's a phase - it's more of a technique that I still see fifth-graders using, even if it doesn't work!  Whenever they use it on me, I tell them, "Well, I'm not _____," or "Wouldn't it be nice if you were Suzie (or whomever else was allowed to do something)?" or "Different strokes for different folks." 

IkesHawaiian06

doublem:

I don't think it's a phase - it's more of a technique that I still see fifth-graders using, even if it doesn't work!  Whenever they use it on me, I tell them, "Well, I'm not _____," or "Would it be nice if you were Suzie (or whomever else was allowed to do something)?" or "Different strokes for different folks." 

I keep using that and saying that we'll call Daddy or Grandma. UGH! I'll just have to keep repeating myself and hope she quits doing it. Thanks ladies!

KNemo

When my students used that phrase on me, I would always say, "do I look like your mother?" But I guess that phrase doesn't work too well when you actually are their mother.

Seattle_JiLLn

I'd call her on it and give her consequences for lying.   I'd say something like "Is that the truth?  Did grandma really say that?  We can check and if it turns out you're lying to me you are going to time out for lying... (or no books before bed, or no cookies for dessert or whatever)..."  and stress the lying part.  

IkesHawaiian06

So, Jill, I tried your method last night. So she switched and told me "Jesus says..." this kid! Where the heck did she learn this? ... We have been talking about lying and she does have consequences. The problem is, I know that some of it MIL (Grandma Tracey) has said to her. Tracey tells her all sorts of sh*t. So she gets a lot of "Mommy and Daddy are in charge and we are the boss, Grandma Tracey is not". I swear, my MIL is purposely trying to manipulate my kid, as if she doesn't manipulate my husband enough.

I'm just going to keep at it. Eventually she has to realize it's not going to work and give it up, right? 

Seattle_JiLLn

How about just a blanket "I dont' care what anyone else says, this is the rule right now"

IkesHawaiian06

Seattle_JiLLn:

How about just a blanket "I dont' care what anyone else says, this is the rule right now"

I used that this afternoon! :-)