F/U to my snack list post - letter to teachers

JenniC1135

Does this letter make me sound like a crazy first time PITA Kindergarten parent, or like someone who's concerned but trying to be helpful?  (I'm going for the latter.)  Suggestions welcome.

 

Hi Miss K and Miss W,

I'm wondering how the nut-free snack lists you sent home were generated and approved.  I don't want to be *that* parent the first week of school, but I have huge concerns about the nutritional value of many of the foods on your respective lists.  I'm so glad that you are choosing to offer snacks in your rooms, as I know Alex and Avery are going to be hungry by that time each day, but that also leads me to my concerns about the foods, because I do anticipate them choosing to have a snack each day.  While some of the snack suggestions were good ones - graham crackers, popcorn, pretzels - many of the items on both lists were junk food - fruit roll ups, Cap'n Crunch, Oreos, Ding Dongs, etc. - and are things that I would prefer my kids not have presented as a snack, but more as an occasional treat, if at all.  I've worked really hard to help them eat "real" food as opposed to items with a lot of processing and chemicals.  And I've tried to help them learn that snacks should be healthful, and I feel like offering many of these items sends the wrong message that these items are good for them. 

I realize that I have choices as to what to send in, and that not every family will make the same choices we do in our home.  And I am happy to supply some allergy safe items for each of your classrooms.  But I am also hoping that perhaps a revised suggestion list could be distributed.  There are similar choices that are more healthful - fruit leather, which is made with real fruit, instead of fruit roll-ups, for instance.  I noticed that real fruit and veggies were not listed - I am guessing this has to do with it not being shelf stable?  Or is it ok to occasionally send in things like grapes, apple slices, baby carrots, or raisins?  I would be happy to help create a list of healthier peanut and tree nut free items, as I have a nut allergy and am aware of the safety issues and labeling concerns. 

Thanks so much for taking the time to consider my concerns.

 JK 

Jodi&Joe

Way too long winded.  We tend to write in a shitton of "nest disclaimers" when discussing these things. 

In addition, I think this line hits the nail on the head -

"I realize that I have choices as to what to send in, and that not every family will make the same choices we do in our home"

Christ on a bicycle - I have enough issue with the SCHOOL telling me what I can/can't feed my kid.  I don't need another students mom telling me too!

 

ghm

Ugh, I'm not sure how you address this without being *that* parent. And you know me, I'd have those same concerns. Honestly, the biggest problem here is that they're going to fill them up with complete crap and expect them to have good behavior and be able to focus? Um, no. Not if they all just ate a ding dong for a snack.

So really, my response is worthless because I'm not sure how you do this without most people thinking you're crazy. My guess is the majority of the board doesn't even have a problem with it, though they may not speak up.  

Kersbear

If one parent were responsible every day to bring the class a snack, then I think you'd have a right to question the list (since your child then would be affected by what was brought in), but since you pack your own child's snack everyday I think you just have to let it be.  Parents will make the decisions they choose no matter what the list says and every parent has the right to send in what they want, without others criticizing it.

MelandJeff

I am so sorry, but you totally sound like "that" parent.

I got annoyed to no end just reading that letter.

 

Sorry.

REOM

Scrap that letter.

Cross out the things your children aren't allowed to have, and send in your own snack that day. Problem solved!

JenniC1135

Jodi, I get what you're saying, but seriously - feed your kid ding dongs on your own time, and don't suggest them in as a class snack.  This school preaches healthy non-stop, and does food-free parties, food isn't used for instruction (no graphing the colors of smarties in your pack, for example,) and then sends home a list that is that god-awful for snacks for 5 yr olds?  If my kids were older, I'd feel comfortable with them making the choice on their own, but they are 5 and I cannot expect them to know the difference between fruit leather and a fruit roll up. 

 

GHM, the snack is served at the end of the day, when all instruction is done.  They have 30ish minutes for centers, and snack is served then.  So, junk food them up and then put them on the bus home for me to deal with.  Ugh.

 

DH just came in and suggested I save the email as a draft, send some healthy things in, and then give it a few weeks to a month and see what the kids tell us is being served.  Maybe the other parents have enough sense not to send in thatshit.  (I have a feeling we won't see ding dongs, but will see fruit snacks & roll ups, which I know is junk but others in this are don't. ) If it seems to be mostly acceptable snacks, I keep my mouth shut and if it's junk food overload, then I send the email and fight the battle.  I get his logic, though I am impatient and don't want to wait.

virginiamorse

No way would I send that letter in to the teacher.  There's also no way I'd let my kid eat that crap food.  I had a similar situation when DS was in preschool.  They provided snack, the first day it was pop tarts and juice.  I called the teacher, said DS doesn't eat that type of food and I will be sending in his snack from now on.  She was pissed and tried to argue with me that pop tarts were a healthy choice!?!?!  I insisted and she relented.  But don't send the letter, you will be "that" mom and it probably wouldn't change her mind anyway.

Jodi&Joe

What BATTLE are you fighting?
You want all the parents at the school to send snacks that you deem healthy!!!?!??!?!?!??!?!?  For real?  Are you for fuckingreal? 

Or are you afraid your little guys are going to bepissed that little Johnny has fruit snacks and their stuck with mommy'sshitty fruit leather!??!

Or what?!  What's the battle here?
Are you upset about the SUGGESTION of these items?

Do you think that if they don't suggest them, parents are going to start sending in something different?

Ok, back to question one - what is your intended outcome of this "battle"!?!?  Fight the good fight for your own three.  Leave the others to their own devices.

JenniC1135

Some of you didn't read my earlier post - I can't send in an individual snack.  The suggested lists went home.  Parents are asked to send in a box of whatever from the list, and it is all stored in a cabinet.  Each day, the teacher sets out a box or bowl of whatever, and the children are free to serve themselves or not during centers time at the end of the day. 

I'm open to suggestions from those of you who said the letter is annoying.  Just telling me it sucks isn't really helpful. I won't apologize for not stuffing my kids full of artificial ***. I get that I fall to a far side of the junk food line - I won't even let my kids buy milk there because I don't want them drinking chocolate milk every day - but I don't think I am wrong to think the suggested snack list should have better choices.

eclaires

First of all, Jodi... fruit leather is five times, maybe 100x as delicious as fruit by the foot.  For real.  As are Annie's bunnies compared to regular fruit snacks.  I am not lying.  It's like candy it is so delicious.

I'd be annoyed too, Jenni, but I'd probably go with your husband's suggestion.  Or I would just talk to the teacher (whether in person, via note/email) and say that I had some issues with the snack list and would prefer to not have things like DING DONGS as suggestions and would be willing to help put out a better list w/ healthier options.  Especially if they are all about food free parties/instruction.

J&A2008

Ha!  I might be that parent, if it weren't for the food nazis at our school already. 

DSS went without snack one day because his made-from-scratch, my own recipe muffin with fruits/veggies/nuts and bran stuffed into it also contained cocoa powder, and thus was deemed an "unhealthy" snack, and he wasn't allowed to eat it.

I might take it up with the PTA and find other likeminded parents and bring the  issue with the junky snacks to the school as a group rather than trying to fight it solo.

Jodi&Joe

JenniC1135:

Some of you didn't read my earlier post - I can't send in an individual snack.  The suggested lists went home.  Parents are asked to send in a box of whatever from the list, and it is all stored in a cabinet.  Each day, the teacher sets out a box or bowl of whatever, and the children are free to serve themselves or not during centers time at the end of the day. 

I'm open to suggestions from those of you who said the letter is annoying.  Just telling me it sucks isn't really helpful. I won't apologize for not stuffing my kids full of artificial ***. I get that I fall to a far side of the junk food line - I won't even let my kids buy milk there because I don't want them drinking chocolate milk every day - but I don't think I am wrong to think the suggested snack list should have better choices.

oh phew!  Ok, this makes things make SOOO much more sense.

Scrap the letter.  Call the teacher.  Go to the school and talk to her.  This message, without tone, is going to go over like a fart in church.

I would say some of the things you mentioned here.  You are concerned about the fact that some of the suggestions are just not healthy choices and you would prefer your children didn't eat some of the items listed.  Then give some options.  Let them know that you are willing to either 1. give an updated list or 2. provide snack more often than required or 3. have your children eat a snack sent in by you daily.

You might get stuck with #3, which could be isolating for your children.  You will have to figure out how to handle that if that is the outcome.

But don't do this in writing.

r9stedt

eclaires:

First of all, Jodi... fruit leather is five times, maybe 100x as delicious as fruit by the foot.  For real.  As are Annie's bunnies compared to regular fruit snacks.  I am not lying.  It's like candy it is so delicious.

I'd be annoyed too, Jenni, but I'd probably go with your husband's suggestion.  Or I would just talk to the teacher (whether in person, via note/email) and say that I had some issues with the snack list and would prefer to not have things like DING DONGS as suggestions and would be willing to help put out a better list w/ healthier options.  Especially if they are all about food free parties/instruction.

Yea, what she said. 

Jodi&Joe

e - I know sarcasm doesn't always translate so ....I was being saracastic.  I've never even tried fruit leather!  LOL

Or Annie's bunnies whatever they are! 

But glad to hear they are YUMMY!

eclaires

Jodi&Joe:

e - I know sarcasm doesn't always translate so ....I was being saracastic.  I've never even tried fruit leather!  LOL

Or Annie's bunnies whatever they are! 

But glad to hear they are YUMMY!

Oh I figured.  I just wanted to defend my fruit leather addiction.  Because I like to pretend it's okay to eat 100 of them since they are natural.  And fruit.

AND TASTE LIKE CANDY.

krissymoves

JenniC1135:

Some of you didn't read my earlier post - I can't send in an individual snack.  The suggested lists went home.  Parents are asked to send in a box of whatever from the list, and it is all stored in a cabinet.  Each day, the teacher sets out a box or bowl of whatever, and the children are free to serve themselves or not during centers time at the end of the day. 

I'm open to suggestions from those of you who said the letter is annoying.  Just telling me it sucks isn't really helpful. I won't apologize for not stuffing my kids full of artificial ***. I get that I fall to a far side of the junk food line - I won't even let my kids buy milk there because I don't want them drinking chocolate milk every day - but I don't think I am wrong to think the suggested snack list should have better choices.

I think that your idea of waiting it out is a good one. If it gets to the point where the junk is out of hand, I don't see any reason that you can't just have a quick conversation with the teacher about your concerns and the conflict between the school's message vs. its actions. The e-mail does come across as annoying IMO, so I'd avoid that route and discuss it in person.

sunandsand

I feel you on this issue...I really do. I hate the snacks my daycare gal gives out.  I offered to bring my DS his own snack every day...she won't let me. So I dropped it.  I've kind of accepted that I can control what I give him here, but outside of the house, not so much. Where does it end? Daycare, school, kids birthday parties, playdates, friends sleepovers, grandparents houses, etc. I do the best I can. 

Jodi&Joe

eclaires:

Jodi&Joe:

e - I know sarcasm doesn't always translate so ....I was being saracastic.  I've never even tried fruit leather!  LOL

Or Annie's bunnies whatever they are! 

But glad to hear they are YUMMY!

Oh I figured.  I just wanted to defend my fruit leather addiction.  Because I like to pretend it's okay to eat 100 of them since they are natural.  And fruit.

AND TASTE LIKE CANDY.

God damn it E!  Now I'm going to have to try some.  And my dealer (friend with the Costco membership) just went this week and I told her all I needed was the squeeze applesauces.  Next trip, it's on!  Momma's gonna get her some fruit leather - and I might not share.  And I might eat 100 of them, which would totally negate any "nutritional" value they might have.  Which is how I roll! 

JenniC1135

Jodi&Joe:

What BATTLE are you fighting?
You want all the parents at the school to send snacks that you deem healthy!!!?!??!?!?!??!?!?  For real?  Are you for fuckingreal? 

Or are you afraid your little guys are going to bepissed that little Johnny has fruit snacks and their stuck with mommy'sshitty fruit leather!??!

Or what?!  What's the battle here?
Are you upset about the SUGGESTION of these items?

Do you think that if they don't suggest them, parents are going to start sending in something different?

Ok, back to question one - what is your intended outcome of this "battle"!?!?  Fight the good fight for your own three.  Leave the others to their own devices.

 

Oy.

No, I do not want them to send in food that I deem healthy.  I want the list of suggested foods to be ones that are recognized to be healthy in general!  Fuucking ding dongs and ho hos and  Cap'n Crunch? No, do not serve that shiit to my child in school, where I send them to learn.  And no, my kids should not have to say, "My mommy doesn't let me eat that."  Things that are bad for their growing bodies shouldn't be suggested by their teachers.  They are 5, and need good examples set for them.  ie - When you are hungry, you eat something healthy that is good for your body such as a, b, or c. 

CubbyMama

As someone who writes WAY too much all the time, I want to say nicely that your letter is epic! Way too long. Also, it's a little condescending that you feel others are not wise enough to know, as you do, that fruit roll-ups and fruit snacks are junk food. My kids eat a fruit roll-up every day and the only ingredients are fruit and vitamin C (the ones we buy aren't organic/specialty ones, either); there are also several mainstream brands of fruit snacks with no HFCS or artificial ingredients, which we try to buy. I really do see your concern, and it's great that you care, but the only solution is to pack your own kids' snacks or let them eat what's there. Trying to dictate what everyone else brings is where you become "that" parent. If you really want to speak up, a simple way to do that might be something like, "Thanks for the snack list! I'm so glad there are healthy things like A, B, and C on the list. Would you maybe consider replacing some of the "junk food" items like D and E with things like X, Y, and Z next time? I love that our school makes kids' nutrition a priority, and snack time is a great chance to form healthy habits!" (or whatever).

Jodi&Joe

JenniC1135:

Jodi&Joe:

What BATTLE are you fighting?
You want all the parents at the school to send snacks that you deem healthy!!!?!??!?!?!??!?!?  For real?  Are you for fuckingreal? 

Or are you afraid your little guys are going to bepissed that little Johnny has fruit snacks and their stuck with mommy'sshitty fruit leather!??!

Or what?!  What's the battle here?
Are you upset about the SUGGESTION of these items?

Do you think that if they don't suggest them, parents are going to start sending in something different?

Ok, back to question one - what is your intended outcome of this "battle"!?!?  Fight the good fight for your own three.  Leave the others to their own devices.

 

Oy.

No, I do not want them to send in food that I deem healthy.  I want the list of suggested foods to be ones that are recognized to be healthy in general!  Fuucking ding dongs and ho hos and  Cap'n Crunch? No, do not serve that shiit to my child in school, where I send them to learn.  And no, my kids should not have to say, "My mommy doesn't let me eat that."  Things that are bad for their growing bodies shouldn't be suggested by their teachers.  They are 5, and need good examples set for them.  ie - When you are hungry, you eat something healthy that is good for your body such as a, b, or c. 

Yea, all of my emphatic questioning above was BEFORE I realized that these snacks were also being provided for YOUR children!  Sorry about that! 

ghm

sunandsand:

I feel you on this issue...I really do. I hate the snacks my daycare gal gives out.  I offered to bring my DS his own snack every day...she won't let me. So I dropped it.  I've kind of accepted that I can control what I give him here, but outside of the house, not so much. Where does it end? Daycare, school, kids birthday parties, playdates, friends sleepovers, grandparents houses, etc. I do the best I can. 

I'm totally cool with my kids eating *** for birthday parties and special occasions. It's part of childhood. But I'm not cool with them eating cake daily, and ho ho's and ding dongs are basically cake. In a package. Marketed at kids.  

JenniC1135

My last reply was delayed - just saw that you didn't understand it was a group snack til now.  Anyway, whatever...I'll wait and mention it in person I guess.  It just kills me because I feel like this list goes home, and then parents who don't know any better see a list with this crap on it and figure if school suggested it, it must be good.

CubbyMama

OK, I replied before I saw your f/u about how the snacks are served. I'd be annoyed, too, as I am when K comes home from preschool saying they had Oreos for snack that day, but being too lecture-y about it will definitely make them dismiss you as Crazy Granola Parent. Go with a short, casual/positive email or try bringing it up in person like the PP's said. GL! (I still think you're being kind of uppity to say other parents are too dumb to know Ding Dongs aren't healthy if they're on the list. I think it's more an issue of whether they care that they're NOT healthy.)

Jodi&Joe

JenniC1135:

My last reply was delayed - just saw that you didn't understand it was a group snack til now.  Anyway, whatever...I'll wait and mention it in person I guess.  It just kills me because I feel like this list goes home, and then parents who don't know any better see a list with this crap on it and figure if school suggested it, it must be good.

I do think you aren't giving parents enough credit.  I'm pretty sure most folks know that ding dongs, cap'n crunch and the like are JUNK!  Sure, they might not buy the best fruit leather (versus fruit snacks) but if your kids have an overall healthy diet, I don't think fruit snacks are going to destroy them.  Of course I'm not NEARLY as health conscience so take that FWIW. 

I would be curious to see if people really do bring in ding dongs, cap'n crunch, etc. 

JenniC1135

Cubby, your reply was really helpful.  You definitely said it in a much more concise and friendly way.  I'm just gonna plagiarize, if you don't mind.    Thanks!

sunandsand

ghm:

sunandsand:

I feel you on this issue...I really do. I hate the snacks my daycare gal gives out.  I offered to bring my DS his own snack every day...she won't let me. So I dropped it.  I've kind of accepted that I can control what I give him here, but outside of the house, not so much. Where does it end? Daycare, school, kids birthday parties, playdates, friends sleepovers, grandparents houses, etc. I do the best I can. 

I'm totally cool with my kids eating *** for birthday parties and special occasions. It's part of childhood. But I'm not cool with them eating cake daily, and ho ho's and ding dongs are basically cake. In a package. Marketed at kids.  

I would totally hope that at least half the parents in the classroom wouldn't send snack cake shiiit. I'm guessing that would be the totally clueless parents, or, sadly, the ones who can only afford to buy a $2 box of little debbies. Oh and I really want a Zebra Cake now.  

sunandsand

Jodi&Joe:

I would be curious to see if people really do bring in ding dongs, cap'n crunch, etc. 

THIS! You have to update us.  

Zenya

I have a lot of time for you, OP but I would roll me eyes if I got that letter as a teacher or if I got wind of it as a parent.  

I guess I just can't get up on this snack outrage.  Maybe b/c C would eat 3 bites and be over it?  IDK.  I just think people have gone INSANE with the nutrition thing. 

 

 

Temp108743750006959

You will be talked about all year in the teacher lounge. Dude, just talk to the teacher and ask if she can add a few more healthy things. Don't your kids have play dates? Do you control what they eat there?

JenniC1135

Zenya, it would be different if my kids were picky eaters like C.  They eat like horses - I seriously wonder how we will feed them when they are teenagers because they eat as much as DH and I do now, sometimes more.  3 or 4 waffles each, plus fruit and milk in the morning is not an unusual breakfast.  And then they want a snack 2 hours later!  Which I don't mind, because it's healthy stuff for the most part.  And it's not like they've never had a fruit snacks.  But left to their own devices, in the back of a classroom with one teacher who is probably trying to do a reading assessment elsewhere in the room and not noticing, they would easily eat 3-4 times the normal serving of anything.  Especially if the snack is cheetos or whatever, I don't think I am wrong to be concerned.  They are too young to expect much in the way of self-regulation here, I think.

nire99

JenniC1135:

My last reply was delayed - just saw that you didn't understand it was a group snack til now.  Anyway, whatever...I'll wait and mention it in person I guess.  It just kills me because I feel like this list goes home, and then parents who don't know any better see a list with this crap on it and figure if school suggested it, it must be good.

Are the parents in your district particularly ignorant? I mean, we live in a very rural district and I have complete faith that most parents would choose to send in a healthy snack.

My question is, are you anticipating that the snack is going to be ho ho's, ding dongs and Cap'n Crunch every single day? Once or twice a week? The answer to this would weigh heavily on my answer.

mlm1128

Here's the thing for me. Who would want to be the parent that everyone else is bitching about because they sent in junk? Just because ding dongs are on the list, do you think there is anyone out there dumb enough to send them in and NOT think that other parents would crucify them? I would guess it will be a non issue. I like to think people are smarter than that. I would imagine most parents that looked at that list thought the same thing you did. At least I would hope so.

 

CubbyMama

JenniC1135:

Cubby, your reply was really helpful.  You definitely said it in a much more concise and friendly way.  I'm just gonna plagiarize, if you don't mind.    Thanks!

Go for it! My first draft would have sounded a lot like yours, too--people on here have had to tell me to edit my stuff many a time!

JenniC1135

nire99:

JenniC1135:

My last reply was delayed - just saw that you didn't understand it was a group snack til now.  Anyway, whatever...I'll wait and mention it in person I guess.  It just kills me because I feel like this list goes home, and then parents who don't know any better see a list with this crap on it and figure if school suggested it, it must be good.

Are the parents in your district particularly ignorant? I mean, we live in a very rural district and I have complete faith that most parents would choose to send in a healthy snack.

My question is, are you anticipating that the snack is going to be ho ho's, ding dongs and Cap'n Crunch every single day? Once or twice a week? The answer to this would weigh heavily on my answer.

 

It's really hard to say.  I live in a decent area, but lunches in preschool last year were pretty evenly split between healthy and a can of Beefaroni and a lollipop, according to my good friend who was there to check her diabetic son's blood sugar every day.   I don't know many families at all at this ES - it's a weird area where 4 counties come together and most of my friends' kids are in a different county.  It's definitely a somewhat rural area, adult obesity seems to be higher than in other areas I've lived, and I guess the population is a mix of country folks and suburban sprawlers. 

 I sent Cubby's email, so we'll see what the teachers say.  I won't make a stink until I hear from the twins what they are having each day.  At this point, I just want them to start serving it because my poor kids are practically gnawing on their arms when they get home from school at 4:10.  Avery came home today and ate a yogurt, half a bag of baby carrots, and some leftover sweet potatoes from dinner the other night.  And she still cried when we ran out of meatloaf at dinner.

Zenya

I'm assuming it'll be like C's preschool snack though where they are all given a small amount.  I mean they're not going to sit there and eat 5 ding dongs, right?  

IDK.  Nutrition just isn't my thing.  Not that I don't know about it (I do) but I think so called orthorexia is getting out of control.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthorexia_nervosa 

ghm

So what? You think healthy eating is ***? That's a wiki article; not exactly something I'd trust. 

Obesity is the "thing" of most americans. I'll take your orthorexia nervosa any day.  

AnnapolisLari

Zenya:

I'm assuming it'll be like C's preschool snack though where they are all given a small amount.  I mean they're not going to sit there and eat 5 ding dongs, right?  

She specifically said that it's not like that. It's a snack that's set out and the kids can take it for themselves. They could very well eat 5 Ding Dongs if the teacher's back is turned.

 

Zenya

ghm:

So what? You think healthy eating is ***? That's a wiki article; not exactly something I'd trust. 

Obesity is the "thing" of most americans. I'll take your orthorexia nervosa any day.  

No, I think obsessing about ONE snack that a child may or may not be even offered every day is overkill.   

and i know it's a wiki.  It was tongue in cheek.  this post is way too uptight for me.  here I am slinking away............. 

JenniC1135

Zenya:

I'm assuming it'll be like C's preschool snack though where they are all given a small amount.  I mean they're not going to sit there and eat 5 ding dongs, right?  

IDK.  Nutrition just isn't my thing.  Not that I don't know about it (I do) but I think so called orthorexia is getting out of control.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthorexia_nervosa 

I dunno - they both said that snack would be set out in the back and the children would serve themselves.  And I know when I was teaching, time like this was used for me to meet 1:1 with kids for things like reading assessments.