Sillys post made me wonder — The Bump
Childless not by choice

Sillys post made me wonder

Have you ever had the thought of DH leaving you because of no kids?

DH knew about this possibility before we were engaged. I was up front and honest about it once I realized we were serious. He is my biggest fan and supporter through all of this and I know he loves me 110%. But I can't help but wonder "What if?". I do not think he would leave me because of it...but no one can predict the future.

The only true thing I do worry about...is me. I worry that my emotions and "crazy" over this issue will drive a wedge. Therapy has helped TREMENDOUSLY, and I feel better now than I ever have. Just thoughts...

Re: Sillys post made me wonder

  • I don't think that DH would leave me over not being able to have a baby, but if we continued on the emotional roller coaster of IF then yes.  We were fighting a lot toward the end of our struggle, about money (what to spend, what to give up so we could save for IVF) I was suffering from a lot of depression and anger, and he just wasn't in that place. He wanted a child but not the way I did. 

    the best thing we ever did for our marriage was stop trying. 

    TTC since July 2009 ^Rosemary^ May 7, 2010 Holding my rainbow, Beatrix, since August 21, 2012
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  • I know everyone has this fear to some degree once the control is taken away and you're left feeling vulnerable.

    I'm dealing with this from the other side, since my DH is the main issue. I can honestly and 100% truthfully say that I will not leave my DH over this and in many ways it has made us even closer. 

    Before we got married something always told me we'd have issues and I was fearful that I wouldn't be able to give him children. I'd constantly ask him if he could be happy with just the two of us, because I wanted that reassurance. 

    Now the shoe is on the other foot and I wouldn't want to give up what we have to have children. If I do have children, I want them to be his/ours. The difficult part is that while I could more easily come to peace if all of our cycles fail. I know that he desperately wants them. It's so difficult to watch your partner get torn up over something that it out of their control. Somehow I still know in my heart of hearts that life will continue being wonderful for us regardless of where our IF journey takes us. 

    (Live in Europe) TTC since 1/2010
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