I feel so bad but I feel nothing but dread about this preg

KyleTrigger

Im sorry to post this ladies because I know so many of us have had a hard time trying to conceive, me included with my first one.

However, she is only 27 weeks old and I am 17 weeks pregnant with our second baby. Not a good situation. I was on the low dose b.c and nursing exclusively so I have no idea how this happened. Well I do but it was still a shock.

I will have TWO BABIES UNDER ONE!!! People on here are always complaining about 2 under 2, well I will have 2 under 1. And I am soooo hoping for a boy this time I cant even wrap my head around another baby after this one. Hubby really wants a boy.

I feel so guilty that I feel this way but this is just a lot to take in. DD sleeps through the night and naps great, she is a good eater and just a good baby. Dont get me wrong there are moments are pure fits but I think I got lucky.

 Anyone been through this and survive?? I have an appt next week and I am going to ask them if they can see the sex, I know it is early and they could get it wrong but I thought I may as well try.

Any support of thoughts would be great. Oh and btw my H works from 3 am to 7 pm, sometimes 6 days a week so I literally get not one second break all week and then Sunday he needs to "relax" and get ready for the next week. I feel like a single mom.

KyleTrigger

By the way my ticker is wrong. I am almost 18 weeks not 12. I had NO IDEA I was pregnant until I started throwing up every day all day long. I hadn't had a period since I had DD.

melisa.hesson

the same thing happened to my sister with her first two.  They are 10months apart but I have to tell you, although it was really hard on her at first, those two have an amazing relationship.  (Older brother and younger sister).  He would go around the house checking on her all the time as soon as he learned to walk.  and sometimes we would catch him "reading" to her (even though the book was usually upside down) at night before bed.  Because they were both babies and going through a lot of the same stuff, they were really sweet to each other and to have around.

when my sister got REALLY sick, I ended up taking both of them for a few months when the younger one was maybe 2 months old.  I was dreading it, but it ended up being one of the happiest times I've had with them. They're so close and now I wouldn't have it any other way. 

namara5532

It's good you recognize your emotions so you can make sure they're not pinned on the baby, just the situation.  The unexpected can certainly happen, and it'd take anyone by surprise.  Growing up with a sibling near the same age can be trying and wonderful for the kids (me and my brother were less than 2 years apart in age), and it won't all be trouble for you.

I agree that you should reach out to friends and family.  You're never alone, even if your husband is mostly unavailable at this point.  Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

And 18 weeks is early enough to tell the gender, assuming baby isn't being overprotective over their bits.  I wish you the best of luck, and don't be afraid to vent on the boards when you need to.

jfreeman2003

Wow! Well... I had such a difficult time conceiving my second that I didn't think I could get pregnant again with out "help." To my surprise when baby was 5 months old I found out I was pregnant with my third!!! There are so many emotions that I felt but I think dread was number one! So that puts my girls at 14 months apart and I would just say that you are going to need a support system. Family/ friends that can come help with your first so you can tend to the new baby. I never had twins but I can only assume that it is comparable to having twins. The first few months were a whirlwind. Without the help of my family I would have probably... definitely lost my marbles! My girls are now 4 and 3 and they still fight a lot but are becoming like best buddies. They play pretend now and it is so cute! It's not how I planned on having my third but I wouldn't have it any other way and I can't imagine our family without her. You can do it. God doesn't give us more then we can handle.

jfreeman2003

By the way my husband works 70-80 hours per week.

MI-bride

I think that it is easy to be over whelmed, which is what you seem to be.  I hate when people suggest this, so I am loathing myself for this: you need to just take each day as they come. 

Good luck, but you will be fine.  I promise.

MesmrEwe

My DH also works insane hours and for part of the year it literally is just me - the best thing you can do - hard as it is, is to plan a day or two at a daycare, even if it's a flex-schedule with them for when your kiddos go.  Just as your DH needs his time to "relax", so do you!!!!  Granted, most of the time that day is spent running errands, but it's absolutely well worth it for your psyche (it's cheaper than therapy and you don't feel like you're imposing on anyone)...

It's not the ideal situation, but when they're older it'll get easier.  One thing I do is have a gym membership that has two hours of babysitting per day per child.  It's also a great investment because that is two hours dedicated to me taking care of me.  Even if all I do is sit in a chair and read a magazine, it's "me" time. 

JENVALENTINE1981

I cannot imagine what you are feeling since I am not in your situation, but know that you are in my t & p...I don't know your beliefs but please know that God won't give you more than you can handle and ALL things are possible through Him...my advice would be to just focus on the babies' needs first, make a point to only try to tackle one major chore a day (laundry, floors, bathrooms,etc.) that way you won't feel like housework is totally getting away from you yet you aren't totally overwhelmed by it, try to form some sort of support group whether it be a local mom's group at a church or your family and friends.  And usually I wouldn't recommend just putting your kids in DC but for your sanity maybe just a a half day a week to give you a break and catch up on appts. and errands...what helps me is to not put all of your focus on the total, big picture but to break it up into what you can accomplish day by day.  Things will fall into place and just remember you can only do what you can handle. 

3rdCopelandBaby

Everything will be ok!

I had my DD in August 05 and found out I was pregnant a few months later. It was actually easier then (looking back) because we had 2 of everything at the same time. For us it was easier to wean DD off the bottle around 1 yr old, because she was more than ready to "help" feed her brother. Same with potty training. Looking back now, it was alot easier...

Now we are starting all over (baby furniture and all)....and its kinda hectic! Because I kinda forgot the motions of being a mommy to a newborn! Its been 5 years since we had a little baby.

stacey86

I understand the feelings of being overwhelmed. My DD is 9 months old and I am 6 months pregnant with another girl (hubby REALLY wanted a boy). My kids will be 2 under 1 or very close to it.

My husband works out of town Monday-Friday (home on weekends) but i works weekends for the most part. Im working 40 hours a week end being a "single mom" Monday- Friday.

I have felt this overwhelmed and not as "connected" to this pregnancy. However I feel like now that we have a name for this baby I am finding it easier to be connected with this pregnancy and I am just embrassing it and taking each day one step at a time,

Please feel free to PM me if you need someone to chat with I understand the feeling

09saluki86

My kiddos are 2 weeks shy of a year apart almost to the minute.  My son was born on 9/14/09 at 12:09pm and my daughter was born on 9/1/10 at 12:25 pm.  To add to our love/stress/family, we are expecting our 3rd in march.  DS will be exactly 30 months old and DD will be 18.  So we will have 3 under 2 1/2.  It really isn't that bad.  Honestly.  I'm a SAHM and my husband works long hours as well.  really its about establishing a routine.  Ours is a loose routine but we do follow one.  And for the first few months the newborn should sleep alot.  The hardest time is the feeding, but we kept upping the amount of formula to whatever she would take.  It was so much easier once she started going 4-5 hours between bottles.  Also, alternate their nap schedules.  (this one we figured out really quickly!) the newborn will probably take 3 naps a day right?  So look at it this way, you get up and feed them breakfast, then your newborn takes a nap, then you are probably getting close to lunch time.  After lunch, the newborn should take another nap, before you get the newborn up, put your toddler down for their nap, then by the time the toddler wakes up, the newborn should take their last nap of the day (probably just a short one) then before you know it your hubby will be home.    If my husband isn't traveling, he's literally at work from 8 am to 8 pm, 5 (sometimes 6) days a week.  You need to talk to your hubby about helping out on sundays too.  Maybe don't push it like, you need to help me with this or I need a break.  Word it like, the kids have really missed you this week, I bet they would like you to play with them for a bit.  Only other advice i've got is to invest in a good double stroller.  We picked up a Peg Perrigo Aria at Toys R Us on clearance for $200, the Aria is a 60/40 stroller so you can bundle your newborn in his/her car seat and put them on the 60% side while the older one sits on the 40% side. Then as they get older you can switch them.  If you feel overwhelmed, load the kids up and take a walk.  It takes their attention off of you and gives you some peace and quiet for a bit.  It's really not that bad, honestly.  Mine play together so well now, and it's nice to know that they have a built in friend for the rest of their lives.  Good Luck!!