Bedsharing with a 4 year old and newborn

erinwhitney1979

I'm due with our second little one in January. Our son still sleeps with us in our already-too-tiny bed. (Queen size...plus a cat. haha) We are in a one bedroom apartment for now, but in the process of buying a home. For all those out there who bedshare, would you recommend getting a bigger bed? Maybe putting baby in the middle and our son on the side with bed rails? We don't want to force him into his own room just because of the baby. Loving suggestions welcome. thanks! 

ghm

Definitely don't put the baby in the middle! Keep the 4 year old in the middle or on the outside of DH, and put baby on the outside of you. Is a new bed in your budget? I can't imagine full-time bedsharing on anything but a king, but lots of people do it! The king is a wonderful thing to have anyway!

Gwyneddlesliegrace

ghm:

Definitely don't put the baby in the middle! Keep the 4 year old in the middle or on the outside of DH, and put baby on the outside of you. Is a new bed in your budget? I can't imagine full-time bedsharing on anything but a king, but lots of people do it! The king is a wonderful thing to have anyway!

Ha! Right now we bedshare with our two month old and dd1 comes in our bed in the middle of the bed, the kicker we have FULL size bed.

My great grandfather built the bed and it is so beautiful. I inhereted it when I got married. Right now our home is only two bedrooms so I am using it until we move and have a guest room. (which wont be for at least another 2 years.)

ghm

Gwyneddlesliegrace:

ow we bedshare with our two month old and dd1 comes in our bed in the middle of the bed, the kicker we have FULL size bed.

My great grandfather built the bed and it is so beautiful. I inhereted it when I got married. Right now our home is only two bedrooms so I am using it until we move and have a guest room. (which wont be for at least another 2 years.)

Off topic here, but our girls have the same middle names. DD1 is Arabella Grace and DD2 is Maile Joy  

Angela814

DD1 had already been sleeping part time in her own bed when DD2 was born. She starts the night in her bed and always crawled into our bed when she first woke up. We also have a queen size bed, and I just didn't feel it was safe to have her in the bed with a newborn. We had a bassinet for DD2, and then we moved DD1 to sleep on the couch in our room. DD2 ended up mostly in our bed, but DD1 did fine on the couch. (She still sleeps on the couch when she wakes up at night.) In the early morning hours, I'd let DD1 crawl into bed with us again since I was mostly awake at that point.

StacieJane

Apart from buying a larger bed, you might consider a co-sleeper attached to your bed for baby (DD in the middle), or going to a floor bed and pushing a twin next to YH's side for DD to sleep on (baby on your side of the bed, not between you and dad).

forensicmama

My four year old just transitioned herself (!) to her own bed and own room. She just woke up one day and told us she wanted to sleep in her own bed. "OK! That's great!" Anyway, with a little one coming, this was what I was thinking (had she not transitioned and had not a forced transition worked): Definite upgrade to a king size and/or the use of an Arm's Reach cosleeper. I like that you're trying not to force him out because of the baby - that wouldn't be a good idea at all.

There are lots of options, depending on your budget. Cosleeper, King Size, rails, getting DS an awesome car-shaped toddler bed to sleep on in the bedroom... What works for you and your family is primary. Good luck.

ETA: It's good to see someone else who was in the same position - bedsharing with older child and another on the way. There aren't that many of us, so it seems.

rainlily

We bedshared with DD until she was 9 months old.  At 23 months, she decided that she was scared of the dark and has been back in bed with us for the last 2 months.  I am 35 weeks as of today.  We have a king bed and bed rails.  We will let DD#1 continue to bedshare as long as she likes.  I have a bassinet set up for now, but plan on buying the mini cosleeper for baby.  Once baby is a lot bigger, then she can sleep on the outside of me (by the mesh bed rail) and DD#1 can stay between DH and I.  I think for safety reasons, I would leave DD#2 in the cosleeper for awhile because DD#1 moves a lot in her sleep.  I wouldn't want her to kick DD#2 while I am up using the bathroom. 

I would suggest getting a cosleeper, if you can't budget for a king size bed right now.  If you can swing both, it would probably be the best option.  GL! 

erinwhitney1979

Thank you everyone for your responses. A king bed is in the budget, so DH and I went last night and purchased one. It will be delivered next week. We will definitely keep our son away from the baby, since he's still young and has no concept of "don't roll over on the baby." My friend has also offered to let me use her cosleeper, so we'll be doing that also.

 

Thank you again!