VENT

kdidit

Ok this isn't exactly baby related but anyways... DH had a son with someone else he's 5 years old and he did live in San Diego CA but just recently they moved to be closer to some of her family. DH and "V" have never had a good relationship, and because of that it's been hard for him to see his son. I know I'm probably biased, but this woman is absolutely INSANE, let me rephrase that she's a ***. He's allowed to get his son 4 times a year but he hasn't seen him for the past 2 years because his ex doesn't believe he should even get visitation. But, for about the past three months, DH or his parents(they call to talk to their grandson) have not been able to reach her. She doesn't answer e-mails and her phone goes straight to voicemail. And just recently over $2000(about 4 months) of DH child support payments got sent back to him. 

Tomorrow I'm calling the police station where she lives to see if they can check and see if she's even still living there or what's going on.

I'm so nervous, as much as I despise her I really hope nothing bad happened to her. DH is a wreck he's so worried about his son. 

Gwyneddlesliegrace

You should repost this on the blended family board. Asap they will really be able to help you.

kdidit

Thanks!

Geek_Girl

Ditto the blended families board, definitely.

I will also say this - Is your H contacting his lawyer about not seeing his son??  If there was court-mandated visitation and she doesn't comply, there could be some sort of repercussions for her.  And, if you guys are up to it, judging by her irresponsible behavior (I'm only going by this scenario), you guys may be able to get full custody if you want it. 

kdidit

We're trying so hard to get full custody. She didn't want him in the first place(she pushed for abortion) but DH wouldn't allow her. But they went through a mediator and never saw a judge so I don't know what that means. 

mabma80

If it's documented that he is legally supposed to get visitations, she's going to be in trouble.  

kdidit

I know but we're having trouble because she lives in a different state and we can't seem to find any lawyers that want to represent DH. I know she would be in trouble because she's refusing him visitation AND she moved without telling him when their agreement stated she needed permission from DH and had to give him 45 days notice. It's very frustrating!! She keeps violating the agreement but she never gets in trouble.

axr8111

He hasn't seen his child in 2 years and before then only 4 times a year? Well then thinking of full custody could be very traumatic for the child, consider that at least. Get a lawyer and get visitation, move closer to mother, build a better relationship with her since she is the gatekeeper and his child is worth it. Good luck. Stories like these make me so sad. I hope he gets to see his child soon.  

kdidit

Thanks! I also posted this on the blended families board and A LOT of people are jumping all over me saying we're not trying hard enough etc. But it's SO difficult when the mother makes it almost impossible to even talk to him. And the court system almost always sides with the mother and it sucks. As soon as we find her she's moves again. But like I said on the blended families board, when she did let DH call and talk to SS once i guess something he said set her off and she started  yelling and complaining how "you and your dad are the reason I can't have the life I want. You ruined my life!"

I just feel like DH and I could give him a good life. In most cases when the court system sides with the mother it's a good thing(they sided with my mom and it was for the better because my dad was a piece of work.) But it's really hard when a father really wants to be a part of their child's life  but the court system still sides with the mother.