How to do extracurriculars as a single parent?

cooker71

I'd like to sign Nora up for dance classes this fall that would start at 6 p.m. on Thursdays for nine weeks. I know she'd just love it.

If I were still married, one of us would likely take Nora to class and the other stay home with Miles. Simple.

But my question is how do I do this when I'm the ONLY parent? Do I just cart Miles with after work? The class location is far enough from our house that I would probably have to just go right over there after picking them up from day care.

Just seems like it would be really nuts, and I can't see Miles sitting still for a 45-minute class. Thoughts? Suggestions? Do I just have a crazy Thursday night for nine weeks?

Cbidt's girl

Babysitter for miles? Do you have a friend that could drop Nora off?

august06mom

I'm not a single mom, but I am in charge of DS's extra activities because DH works long hours. I bring DS2 with me to karate twice a week and we wait there. It's only 30 minutes long, so it's not a big deal. Obviously this is easier for me because DS2 isn't mobile yet, but I expect DS to do karate for a while (we just signed a six-month contract), so we'll have to figure it out.

Do you have to stay and watch the class? Can you take Miles out for a walk around -- we're just supposed to be somewhat close by. We don't have to actually watch the class, but they want to be able to get us in case there's a major meltdown.

Another option is to talk to parents about carpooling. I'm loathe to do that because I hate that kind of shiz, but I'd do it if it was the only way to get DS there. Then you'd only have to take Miles on the day it was your turn to drive.  

r9stedt

Is there a park near bye?

cooker71

It would be at a middle school, so I'm sure there would be a park nearby somewhere. These are all good ideas. Never thought about just taking him out and about or even the whole babysitter/car pooling ideas. Thanks ladies!

r9stedt

Pack a bag full of fun stuff JUST for that day JUST for him.   Make it some special Miles and Mommy time.    He will truly enjoy that!

snowflakemom

Hey there! I'm not a single parent, but because of work DH is not home to take the girls to anything.

It just depends on the activity, but when DD#1 had gymnastics, I would either leave DD#2 with a sitter or take her with. When DD#1 was in dance for 6 weeks we were not allowed to stay and watch (it was a 45min class) so DD#2 & I would drop DD#1 off and then go run errands while she was in class, then back to pick her up. The girls were in two separate swim classes this summer and DD#2's was a "mommy & me" type class where I swam with her so there was not the option of taking DD#1 so I got a sitter for her. We were able to stay and watch DD#1's class so I usually brought DD#2 with me and we would watch DD#1 or walk around while she was in class (the pool is right by a park so that worked out nicely).

In the situation of Nora's dance class, I would probably drop her and then run errands with Miles if you can at that time, then go back and pick her up. Good luck! I bet she'll love it!

shopgirl78

Not a single mom but I took DD to her first gymnastics class and brought both boys.  It was a PITA.   I thought about dropping her off from now on but I don't know.  There is a bounce house real close that we could do for an hour but I don't want DD to feel LEFT either.  DS1 is on the waiting list for the 3-4 year old class at the same time.  At least then, I'd only have 1 kid not occupied.  

jettagurl

Not claiming to be 'like' a single mom, or 'supermom', but this is how it always is for us. Also, IMO, part of the reason I think we get complimented often for the kids' good behavior.  H works noon-11p., and often is in/out from 7a-11a. He also typically works Sat/Sun for 8-12 hrs/day.....so carting everyone along is my life. They've always had to go and sit in the stroller/seat and behave...its just what we do.

B had done baseball for 2 springs (1 hr, 3x/wk), N has done ballet (30 min/week) and both have done swim lessons (30 min, 2x/wk).....I just pack snacks, drinks, small toys and go.   We start up ballet again next week and swim the following week. 

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.  Not only will he probably like to watch, but you'll get a little one-on-one with him while N is occupied....where you're forced to focus on him (not that you don't, but I know how sidetracked I get at home).

Is your ex on board for his weeks?  I'd think that may be your bigger hurdle....if he's not willing to do the same, then it's a no-go.  Or possibly see if on you 'off' week, you get M for the dance time (so whoever's parenting week it is will take Nora) or some similar arrangement.  

 

MayorMcCheese000

Have you talked to your ex about it? There have been many times that we have "helped" out BM on her days in order for SD to do activities. Maybe he would be willing to take Miles to his house while you have her at dance. Or maybe show up halfway through so you only have to sit halfway through with Miles and then he sits through the second half and drives her home when she is done (this is what DH would do.)

Otherwise, just bring him along and do your best to keep him busy, I've done it with DS and DD before.

L D

When the girls first started L was 4yrs old (so quite a bit older than Miles) but still hard for him to sit quietly for that amount of time.  (1 hr)  I would take him to get ice cream.  It was our little secret & special time.  He really looked forward to it.  There were a few times we didnt go but on those days I would load him up a backpack with a snack, coloring book, crayons and some of his cars.  That usually tied him over.  Then if he got bored I would let him play with my phone.  lol.  

I take the kids to most all of their activities because dh is in school and when home busy with homework.  If it is a sport like football, baseball or basketball he coaches and takes L to all the practices.  That is really handy but then I usually go any ways to watch.  The girls just have to sit and watch, play with a toy/explorer/color.  

Good luck!  Nora will be such a sweet little ballerina!!    

j-w

I'm not a single parent, but I do the kids' extracurriculars by myself because they are all during the day throughout the week.  For dance, I never stay.  45 mins doesn't give you a lot of time to do an errand, but it gives you just enough time to get 1 good errand done.  So, that is what DS and I have done since he was born!

CTFandme

not a single mom, but wanted to add that dd is too small for any EC of her own, but ds ice skates/hockey and played t-ball this past summer.  We take dd to all his games and practices and she loves it.  Like someone posted earlier, even though we're there for ds, I get some good 1:1 time with dd.  What I don't get is to actually sit and watch ds do whatever it is he's doing.  He's doesn't realize it, but I do.  Soon she'll have her own stuff to do and he'll have to go with us too!

Andrewsgal

Not a single parent bit due to the amount dh works I am on my own with the kids almost 7 days a week my kids are in tons of activities and the one not participating stays with me and plays in the lobby or on the side of the field.

UGAbride

I'm not a single parent, but it's usually up to me to do the extra-curriculars (bonus and a "break" for me if he can meet us there if it's late enough, but I don't expect it).  It's definitely a PITA to have DS #2 at everything, he is not the type to sit still and requires full engagement from me (bummed I don't usually get to watch DS #1).  However, it would not be worth it to me to hire a sitter, we just don't use sitters (parents are near enough that they come babysit for nights out pretty frequently, but they are not close enough to help with during the week activities) and I can't imagine the hassle and extra expense either.  Jealous that jettagirl can easily take all hers, because alhough we've been doing it all along as well, doesn't mean my kids behave any better, LOL  

Arnegard

My husband works shift work and does a lot of OT.  Though I am a SAHM, I honestly have to plan most of the activities as I am going to be alone, because chances are, I will.

I entertain the other child/children during activities the best I can.  Right now, Alex has soccer.  Taylor starts dance next month and Alex and Taylor start church school in a few weeks.  Poor Dylan just has to go where her sisters go and A & T have to watch each other's classes.  But A did gymnastics, T watched.  Last year A & T had gymnastics and D went along and "watched."

Heidisean

I would take him...lots of parents (mostly moms) took the siblings to dance classes. How it worked for us was that I had to take Evie with me but they did not let us watch the class and we were all in a separate room. I would walk down the street with Evie for a coffee and waste about 25 min of the 45 min class then she would watch all the other kids (siblings) playing (she was an infant) as they had a bunch of toys for the kids to play with that were waiting! DO IT!

hikerbeth

I'm not a single parent, but I have to take Leif to extracurriculars with me since they are usually in the late afternoon/early evening and DH isn't home and/or he's traveling.

Rebekah1021

Most of the moms in our dance school bring the siblings and they usually ending up playing together and have impromptu play dates. 

Would you be comfortable dropping her off and taking Miles to a park for the class? 

ghm

Not a single parent, but I've always had to handle all of this stuff myself. Homeschool co-op? Yeah, we had to quit for a semester because Maile was so bad when we'd go. Tball? Yep, my kid throwing fits because she wanted to run away non stop. Swim lessons? Same thing. 

However, I didn't have much choice: it was take Maile with me, or don't go at all. It was important to me that I stayed and watched Ethan's tball practices this year, so Maile and Bella had to sit in the stroller with coloring books and crayons or yo gabba gabba episodes on my phone. They weren't always good, but we survived. Once practices stopped and it was only games, DH tried to take off work to come, and my mom and dad came to as many as they could, so that was helpful.

For dance, I doubt most parents stay so you could just drop her off and come back to pick her up after class.  

expectingnothing

Single mom chiming in DD1 takes dance class year round.  I'm super lucky that my mom picks her up from school and drops her off most of the time.  Her class is an hour and DD2 and I get too bored sitting there.  We've gone to my gym before (put DD2 in Kids Klub) or done errands.  There is a supermarket right near the dance studio.  Even when I drop off and pick up, I rarely ever stay and wait.

DandelionMom

I'm not a single mom but I handle all the kids' activities.  If I can't drop off and run errands then I just bring a bag of toys/books and wait out in the hall.  There are usually a couple of other parents who do the same thing and we all become friends. 

CleoKitty

For pretty much every soccer class, swim lesson, Little League, etc thing that ds has ever done there are *always* younger siblings there as well. Works out well because the toddlers/younger preschoolers play together and keep each other occupied.

nire99

I get a sitter for DS as often as possible. It's mostly for my own sanity. He's a whiny mess by the end, no matter how many distractions I bring with us.

I'm not comfortable leaving DD at any practices by herself and I doubt I ever will be. My parents are very understanding, so they don't mind watching DS those 2-3 times a week.