Sensitive Hubby

poobear2015

Sorry in advance for the long vent - but I don't know what to do! I adore my DH - and it's nice that he offers to cook - but he is TERRIBLE!!! I just spent 45 min cleaning the dishes (and the dishwasher is also working haha). Oil was everywhere, some strange dark substance burned on the burners of the stove that won't come off, and the $40 griddle we got 2 months ago as a wedding gift looks like it's been through 10 years of marriage! To top it off - he "invented" a new dish - basically cheeseburger with potato slice on garlic toast bun. I tolerated it for a few bites...til I bit into something hard resembling glass. He used the sea salt on our spice rack that's meant for a salt grinder (which we don't have). OMG - I almost puked at that point. This baby is picky enough as it is! First time since I was 8 that I swallowed food with my drink to pretend it was enjoyable. When I was putting the spices away - I discovered the coriander was out...I don't cook that much, but does coriander go on ground meat? Paprika on the potatoes...I feel so bad b/c he tries so hard, and if you show you don't like it, he notices it and takes it to heart so badly. How can I nicely discourage him from inventing stuff? His argument is that he always eats all my food - yeah b/c I use cook books and hamburger helper! It's just his inventions I can't take. When he follows recipes he's fine. What do I say to him?

MI-bride

When DH invents something and it is bad, I tell him. 

I don't want to eat it again.  I don't want him to go through the trouble, thinking that I liked it.

poobear2015

If I flat out tell him that don't like it though - he will be so upset/hurt that he won't talk all night and refuse to ever cook again lol. Which I actually don't want, I just want him to cook correctly.

MI-bride

What would he say if you made something horrible?

Seriously, in my house, DH would tell me that he didn't like it and I wouldn't make it again.

avalovesart

Maybe you can say something like, "This has an interesting/different/unusual flavor, what did you put it in?" and then suggest next time a different ingredient that you think would be better. But, maybe wait until dinner is over...sometimes it's easier to take a few hours later.

OR...are there any cooking classes in your area? Maybe you could buy him some lessons and say, "Since you enjoy cooking so much I thought you'd like these lessons!" (I.e. don't say, "You're terrible and need lessons.")

Beth1104

MI-bride:

What would he say if you made something horrible?

Seriously, in my house, DH would tell me that he didn't like it and I wouldn't make it again.

This. And I'll admit when I cook something less than stellar. 

CluckyEV

Do you ever ask if he likes what you made?  I have a friend who asks HH about new meals she makes.  Her DH will let her know if that can go in the regular rotation or not.  It was cute b/c the guys were at our house and I experimented with a new recipe and she told me how to ask him if he liked it or not.  Maybe try using a suggestion to make it "better" as a meal.  If he is wanting to invent, help him come up with better alternatives.  "What spices did you use?" "I think it would have been even better with garlic or your favorite go-to spice."  "The potatoes were delicious, but I would have liked them better on the side."  "Tonight I feel like..."  Or just suggest that you stick to recipes that you both love and then discuss how to make them better together.

Your predicament is tough b/c with a LO on the way, you don't want to discourage him from cooking.  Good Luck!

Shawnee11507

My DH is a chef, when he invents a meal that I don't like, I say "I wouldn't order this again (at a restaurant)" instead of "I don't like it" or "This is gross". lol. Can you try something like that?

Jess.O

Beth1104:

MI-bride:

What would he say if you made something horrible?

Seriously, in my house, DH would tell me that he didn't like it and I wouldn't make it again.

This. And I'll admit when I cook something less than stellar. 

Me, too.  It's nice that he cooks but it sounds like he's being a baby when you don't like it.  (Sorry to be so blunt but that would irritate me.)  

Maybe you could give him a cookbook as a gift.  Then you could go through it together and pick out recipes for him to try.  

poobear2015

Jess.O:

Beth1104:

MI-bride:

What would he say if you made something horrible?

Seriously, in my house, DH would tell me that he didn't like it and I wouldn't make it again.

This. And I'll admit when I cook something less than stellar. 

Me, too.  It's nice that he cooks but it sounds like he's being a baby when you don't like it.  (Sorry to be so blunt but that would irritate me.)  

Maybe you could give him a cookbook as a gift.  Then you could go through it together and pick out recipes for him to try.  

He honestly IS being a baby about it - it's been one of those days where I'm angry at him for stupid reasons! But I feel so bad b/c I know it's hormonal anger - so I try to look past it...I like the cookbook idea - and maybe going through ideas with him. He loves salt where I don't - so we do have different tastes, but maybe it will help. B/c I REALLY don't want him to never cook - especially in the upcoming months!

CluckyEV

DH and I have differing opinions on salt as well.  He does not go overboard or even add it now.  But I would suggest getting a grinder for your sea salt.

RNmommyof2

Maybe the two of you can cook together a few times until he gets that one should use a recipe until you know enough to tweak it. My man only knows how to roast a chicken and potatoes, which is not something I can eat once a week. I like it when we cook together, which is really rare. Generally if someone cooks in our house, it's me.

JhawkCE

Well, I guess you can just rely on the old " I think the baby doesn't like coriander!" Then get him this https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0894807668/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/191-7602760-6595049 Because you "know how much he likes to try new recipes". Pray that he uses it, pick out some of the recipes you think you'll like and again pray that he can follow simple directions.

kms34

I would offer up suggestions for meals and send him recipes.  Say "I'm craving ___ tonight.  I found this awesome recipe we can try."  Keep doing that and see what happens.  Or print off a bunch of recipes and just say you'd like to get a meal plan started before the baby comes which is a good idea anyway.  That would give him less chances to invent meals.  Encourage his creativity but put some restraints on it.