DS is mobile and it has made things harder :(

sweetpea2003

My DS is 9 months and is now very effective at getting around.  He has been moving for awhile, but in the past few weeks he has gone from scootching/rolling around to all out crawling like a mad man.  HE is soooo proud of himself.  Much less fussy and frustrated which is nice.  But DD is NOT happy.

Of course DS idolizes his big sister and wants to be with her.  He crawls over to her every chance he gets.  Tries to play with her toys, touch her, etc.

My daughter loves her brother but he does not like him all over her or on her toys.  She gets upset.  Best case scenario is she looks at me like "do something!" and runs away.  Worst case scenario she hits him or screams at him or pushes him.

I am at a loss.  She is miserable and cranky because he is always "pestering" her.  And I am seriously worried that his first word will be "mine" because that is what she screams when he gets near her. 

Any advice?  Will she get used to it?  Should I try to keep them separated?  Obviously I don't tolerate her hitting him or pushing him (she goes in time out) but I would like to set them up for success if possible.  I just don't want my poor son to have to live in his pack 'n play because DD has zero patience.

For me this has been the hardest 2u2 challenge.  I thought it would get easier as the year progressed, but I am really struggling.  Hanging in the play room is a large chunk of my day and I feel like a referee more than a mom .

mrsseguin

I don't have any advise from experience, but DD is close to crawling and I've thought about it a lot, and how I would handle these hings when they come.  I talk a lot to DS about sharing, playing, how much DD loves him and wants to do the same things as him in hopes that it may prepare him a bit.  Who knows...if it would actually make a difference or not.  We found that by 'disciplining' DD when she grabs at his stuff has helped DS in the way he treats his sister.  He seems to be ok with sharing and playing with her for now.

I told DH that it's gonna get harder before it gets easier.  Once they are mobile...they are SO much MORE work.  It becomes constant all day long.  We also have a small house, so it's not like she has a ton of places to go, but you always have to be on top of them!  I'm worried about this next stage... 

bulldog_mama23

I totally get it! DS has become super mobile in the last month too and it is starting to bug DD more than usual.  I really have no advice, DD usually plays next to him fairly well and I have been working with her for months on taking turns with toys so she is starting to get that.  But some days are easier than others, DD doesn't hit or push him but she will take any toy away from him in an instant.  Tonight, she decided she didn't want him in the playroom and tried to shut the baby gate on him and his arm got stuck in it.    Hang in there. 

sweetpea2003

Yea.. we talk about sharing and taking turns - but she is barely two.  Both of those concepts are a little advanced for her right now.  So for now I am really trying to zero in on what is right and wrong.  Allowed and not allowed. 

Some days they are adorable and she loves all over him.  Other days it is MISERABLE.  The hitting and pushing are surprising because she has never done that to other children.  I think it is because he is always around and she is extra frustrated.  She gets VERY upset when he cries so I know that she means no harm but. UGH.  It sucks when your otherwise wonderfully behaved 2 year old becomes a territorial monster. 

 

kcisthebombdotcom

My DD has been crawling for about a month and a half now, and it's starting to get better.

We just practice a lot. If he shares a toy with his sister, he gets lots of praise. If the baby tries to steal big brother's toy, I redirect her with another toy. When DS steals something from the baby's, I explain that's baby sister's and redirect him with a toy.

JoannaJes

I don't have any answers, except to say I'm right there with you. DS has never been an aggressive kid until DD started crawling about 2 months ago. Now it's so hard. I feel like I'm constantly nagging DS just because he's the older one, but he's only 2.5, which is not exactly mature. And poor DD is getting smacked and shoved just because she loves to be by her brother.

Sigh...I know there is a lot of 2U2 love on this board, but right now, I'm not feelin' it. I wish DS was a little older or DD a little younger, so this conflict could be managed a bit better.