Single Parents

joining you soon

My husband and I have been married less than 2 years and our son just turned 4 weeks old yesterday.

When I was 5 months pregnant, he had an affair with a friend and coworker. we tried moving on and working things out, but he is continually lying to me and insists on maintaining a friendship with her to "keep work less stressful". 

We are separating to see if that helps. I hope he gets his head on straight, but I'm also being realistic that he will probably not change his ways. Also does not help that my MIL hates me (why? because I married her only child... seriously, H even says this). I am sure that she will try to convince H to divorce me. H and I are at least trying to keep an amicable relationship for our son.

Life is so stressful right now. I know its going to take a lot of strength to get through it.


Re: joining you soon

  • Have you thought about individual counseling?

    IMO, it doesn't sound like he's willing to put effort into the marriage, especially when he insists on maintain a "friendship" (code for, I still want to be able to bone my co-worker) with the woman he had an affair with.  If he was committed to working on things he would stop ALL contact with her, switch jobs, move to a different town, whatever it took to save the marriage and your family.  He's not doing that.

    On top of that, you're separated which is usually the beginning of the end.  While you think you're giving him time to give his head on straight, what is HE doing?  Most likely cozying up to said co-worker.  Sorry to be harsh but none of this sounds good at all, and you and LO deserve better.

    He also sounds like a classic "mama's boy" if he's letting MIL have that much influence over him.  Tell him to grow a pair and stand up to his mom because she's going to at least need to be respectful to the mother of his child, whether your marriage works out or not.

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  • We went back into counseling after the affair. We stopped just before DS was born and I have an appt for next week.

    Yea, I have told him that by maintaining this "friendship" he is choosing her over me and that we cannot work if he does not put his all into us.

    Right now, he will be moving back into his parents place (cant afford a place on his own. Im the breadwinner in the house). He really is a momma's boy. All of his friends who know her are even saying I need to get stuff in order to make sure she doesn't screw me over like she thinks I will do to H. The woman is on her 3rd marriage so she knows the system.

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