When your "regular" kid catches up to your SN kid.

suzymarie

DS and DD have the same genetic condition but DS (almost 4) is delayed and DD (18 months) is not at all.  If anything she is advanced.

I can already tell she is going to pass him.  She can almost do fine motor tasks that he just mastered.  Same with some gross motor tasks.   Of course he could pick up steam and my worry could be for nothing, but I am not hopeful.

I am happy to have a normal kid, but I am also sad for DS.  Has anyone else experienced this?   

lite-bright

I see some of the same things. Not necessarily in motor stuff at this point, but just in pragmatic speech? The difference is night and day. 

I mean, DD1's speech is way more clear, she speaks in full sentences, has a ton more words, makes her needs and wants known easily most of the time -- but DD2 just GETS it. The pragmatics, making connections, transferring knowledge from one situation to another, pretend play -- it's all there in ways that DD1 really struggles with. I wouldn't say necessarily that DD2 has caught her big sister, because she's only really using single words and has a limited vocabulary, but man, it makes the deficits of autism really obvious -- and that they have been deficits for a very long time, before we even realized it. 

I was really worried about DD2 for awhile, that she was on the spectrum as well. I'm almost totally confident at this point that she is not -- which is a huge relief, but brings some mixed feelings as well. It makes me sad to think that at some point, they're both going to realize that DD2 is typical and these things come easily to her, and that DD1 will always have to work so much harder at them and they will come slowly and later, if at all. I felt the same way about my younger sister's social prowess, to some extent, and I know how much it hurt, especially as a teen. I hope I can teach my girls to be kinder to each other than my sister and I were to each other.

I'm trying very hard to enjoy each girl for who she is, right now. I figure that's all I can do. It also makes me glad I had DD1 first, though -- I was amazed by her when she was a baby/toddler, because I didn't know what was missing. I'm amazed by DD2, too, because now I do.  

Pierce3252

Its so weird seeing one kid have everything just go so easily, when you are used to seeing one struggle to do even the simplest things. 

Our little girl (19 months) is teaching Isaac (3 yrs old) new things all the time.    She is ahead of him in speech, fine motor, gross motor, well basically everything.  But he's improving and I think she has a big effect on that.  I think if anything though she is really helping him more than we ever could.  That's how I get over being sad for him - because even though she's a constant reminder of what's "normal," I can't imagine him without her now!

lite-bright

Pierce3252:

Its so weird seeing one kid have everything just go so easily, when you are used to seeing one struggle to do even the simplest things. 

Our little girl (19 months) is teaching Isaac (3 yrs old) new things all the time.    She is ahead of him in speech, fine motor, gross motor, well basically everything.  But he's improving and I think she has a big effect on that.  I think if anything though she is really helping him more than we ever could.  That's how I get over being sad for him - because even though she's a constant reminder of what's "normal," I can't imagine him without her now!

I also have to agree with this. Watching my girls play together -- even if it's kind of odd play -- is just awesome. DD2 thinks DD1 is fantastic and wants to do everything she does. DD1 will do just about anything to get DD2 to laugh. DD1 is learning more about how to share, how to treat other people, what to do if someone's upset (right now her solution is to sing the ABCs, which actually works and cracks me up!), etc. DD1 will herd DD2 away from things that she knows DD2 shouldn't be doing, and in her way, really does try to look out for her.

It's really heartening to see all those things at work and hope that eventually, she'll be able to expand them, and relate to people outside our family in similar ways. 

 

W&J'sMommy

Yes, they are on a similar level, it's alot like having twins.  They started talking at the same time (DS was 3 DD was 18 months) and their language has developed very similarly.  DD is just surpassing him on social skills.  They are emotionally at about the same place (which is super fun, I have 2 in their "terrible 3's" oh the tantrums in my house;p)

It doesn't bother me too much at this point, but I'm sure it will soon, when the distance between the 2 becomes more evident, and when #3 passes him socially/emotionally - that will be hard.

W&J'sMommy

lite-bright:

Pierce3252:

Its so weird seeing one kid have everything just go so easily, when you are used to seeing one struggle to do even the simplest things. 

Our little girl (19 months) is teaching Isaac (3 yrs old) new things all the time.    She is ahead of him in speech, fine motor, gross motor, well basically everything.  But he's improving and I think she has a big effect on that.  I think if anything though she is really helping him more than we ever could.  That's how I get over being sad for him - because even though she's a constant reminder of what's "normal," I can't imagine him without her now!

I also have to agree with this. Watching my girls play together -- even if it's kind of odd play -- is just awesome. DD2 thinks DD1 is fantastic and wants to do everything she does. DD1 will do just about anything to get DD2 to laugh. DD1 is learning more about how to share, how to treat other people, what to do if someone's upset (right now her solution is to sing the ABCs, which actually works and cracks me up!), etc. DD1 will herd DD2 away from things that she knows DD2 shouldn't be doing, and in her way, really does try to look out for her.

It's really heartening to see all those things at work and hope that eventually, she'll be able to expand them, and relate to people outside our family in similar ways. 

 

And all of this here too

AB&TB

Yep.  My DS is 3, and my DD passed him in skills around 1 year old.  She has words, understands & follows directions, and has better fine and gross motor skills.  We knew it would happen quickly from the very start.