As usual, your latest blog post is my exact situation. It's uncanny how much our XH's seem to be twins separated at birth. He always twists the situation and words to his distored view in order to justify blaming me.
XH called me 4 times between 11pm and 8am the other night. When I didn't answer the first time, he then sent accusatory texts about how I am doing an awful job about keeping him informed of how his son is. (Silly me, I thought the phone and email system worked both ways!) I then sent a matter-of-fact email to him the next morning laying out the following:
1. There is nothing worthy of relaying to him this week in terms of LO. He's not sick, he hasn't had any "firsts". B's fine and I'm not going to report to him every day for the next decade.
2. I will not be answering his calls at 11pm, nor will I drop everything to answer or call him back. I have asked SEVERAL times for him not to do this, yet he fails to understand and continues to do it.
3. The phone works both ways. If he wants to know something, call & ask. If there is something he needs to know regarding LO, I will call him ASAP.
4. I will not tolerate him calling me incessently at those hours and retaliating when I do not answer.
I swear I'm dealing with a juvenile who thinks rules are made to be broken or don't apply to him.
Anyway, I've rambled on incessently, but just wanted to tell you that you continue to hit the nail on the head when it comes to manipulators. And I agree, you get lost in the fog until you're completely OUT of it for good.