a proposed visitation schedule? BD emailed me yesterday about my plans for custody (last correspondence was maybe a week or so ago "asking" me about the paternity test arrangements & slight taunting amongst other things. I responded to the paternity test stuff, but tried not to address the taunting. We haven't talked about custody in about 2wks when he expressed wanting 50/50, i never responded to that).
i haven't been talking to him unless he emails me first, and if it's only about the baby. i try to keep all of my responses short, & as cordial as possible, even when he starts to play the victim card (because apparently i've been very evil to him throughout this whole thing...naming her myself, not inviting him to my shower, "keeping information from him", etc...)
Anyway, to sum it up, he emails saying that i'm "playing games" by refusing to discuss custody & he knows my "time is almost up". I told him i can't agree to 50/50 from the beginning that it's not in her best interests, which he internalized as "you're not a good father". Long story short, he continues to mention how he's probably a better fit anyway because he's a "hands on dad" with his other kids that he's raised from birth. And that if I think i can solely raise her, he can do the same as he's proven before. (i've never said anything about solely raising her, i've always made it known that i want him involved, i just want primary physical custody, we share legal. i don't think that's asking too much, especially since we live A MILE DOWN THE STREET from each other) He "agrees" that she should solely be with me for 3 months, & after that "if he's the dad" (a phrase he used often in this email) then he should have shared time (if he'd stop bulling me long enough he'd realize, i'm ofering shared time from day 1...at my house of course)
He also said this, "In short just as you think the baby has to be with you and I only have visits, the same way I also think the baby has to be with me so you also have visits" which really is leading me to believe that if given the opportunity, w/o a court order, he won't return her to me. Just to "prove a point".
So my mom of course is pissed at this point because he's stressed me out my entire pregnancy, & me being a dummy, I still let him get under my skin. She told me not to put him on the birth certificate & not to make things easy for him since it seems like we're going to end up in court anyway. I know we're definitely at least going to need a mediator to figure out this custody thing, but should I just go ahead and leave him off the birth certificate & just let him start all the legal proceedings? Or is that going to create a massive sh*t storm?
It's really breaking my heart that he's treating my daughter as a piece of property that we need to fight over. It doesn't have to be this difficult