Hubby and vbac

mommabear85 · August 2011

I posted last week called ( Anyone else had this happen ???? ) I am hoping for a vbac for our next child. I mentioned to my hubby last night about how the new hospital and new doctor do vbac's and he said absolutely NOT. He said because what the doc said once a vbac always a vbac at there hospital. And then he said how I couldn't because how a c-section heals with scar tissue and it wouldn't be a good idea to do it.. I am sooo upset that he would even say that to me and think that I can't do a natural birth.....

iris427 · August 2011

My husband wasn't thrilled about my VBAC desires at first either. Going through a long labor and then a cesarean was exhausting and hard for him too. And he was worried I would end up with another c/s and be crushed.

Over time as I talked to him about what I was learning--that VBAC is safe, that the majority of VBACs are successful, that my cesarean might have been unnecessary, that things probably wouldn't go the same way the second time--and what it meant to me to try a VBAC, he came around. In the end he was my biggest VBAC supporter and I couldn't have done it without him.

GL, I hope you and your husband can get on the same page.

lostaspen · August 2011

That sucks. I would find some good, solid information that compares RCS to VBAC in terms of risks and benefits. My husband was sold on a VBAC once I started telling/showing him how much riskier and scarier RCS are--high maternal death rates, high rates of infection, long term damage to mother's bowels, bladder, etc. The more you and your husband know and understand about VBACs and RCS, the better you can make a decision that is right for you.

A good book is The VBAC Companion--it compares VBACs and RCS.

Here are some good websites to start you off on, but I suggest doing a lot of googling and talking with your local ICAN chapter, if you have one.

https://www.ican-online.org/

https://givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2-2/a-womans-guide-to-vbac/

https://birthaftercesarean.com/

chicsub · August 2011

Can he go with you to a consult with a doc that is VBAC-friendly and is up to date on the "risks"?

cchill01 · August 2011

My advice is to take it slowly with your DH. You have time to slowly educate and win his agreement. My DH is also very nervous. We've had a few arguments about it, so I let it go for a few months, then I give him a little more information. They need to come to their own conclusions - not yours or your doctor's.