Question for all of you? — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Question for all of you?

So our very best couple friends, have been married almost 5 years ( tomorrow actually) and last month, she told him she wanted a divorce. background: they got pg after being married a year and a half, pg was good but when baby was born she was in and out of hospital with asthma allergies and respiratory issues. stress on a marriage right? Fast fwd I year, he loses his job, gets a new one fairly quickly, but he falls into a depression of his own, is on medication and seeing a therapist. He was out of his comfort zone at his old job. This was January of 09, at this time she decided she wanted to try for number two. Being on medication,it lowered his libido, they stopped trying and waited it out. All throughout this she worked long hours 7 days a week. she finally gets pg later that year. All is well. Baby is born in may, and yet another one with respiratory, allergy, asthma issues. She didn't go back to work this time,and is a sahm. After a year of being home with 2 kids, she is telling him she is not happy, and can't see her life go on like this, and is not in love with him anymore. So my question, can a woman suffer from post partum depression, and not realize it? Is she thinking it's her marriage and not herself? Thanks for input in advance.
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Baby # 2 ...3/22/12

Re: Question for all of you?

  • I don't know that I can say that she doesn't realize it, she probably does. There are so many factors that can make a woman decide that she isn't happy with her life anymore. The fact that her husband has a decreased sex drive, is depressed and probably isn't as affectionate and close as he was at the beginning of their marriage, might be a call for help. Seeing that she's also a SAHM, she may be lonely and bored and is yearning for excitement again that she isn't feeling her husband. PPD is a personal issue that affects the mom's mental state due solely to her baby's birth. So I wouldn't say that all of this is just PPD, but it sounds like they have a much more complex issue that they have to deal with bit by bit. Maybe she needs therapy to talk out her problems, or possible marriage counseling? DH and I were to that point a few weeks ago b/c he wouldn't spend time with LO and I, and he chose to go out with friends for drinks instead. We have great communication to we talked it out several times since one conversation won't cure all, and things are slowly getting better.

    That was a loaded question that can yield a variety of different responses, but I feel that maybe she needs to look at herself first and see if any of these issues are internal, and then she can move on to marriage counseling so that she and her husband can grow together instead of growing apart and divorcing.


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