Anyone else have "mom guilt?"

samjpro · August 2011

Ok I don't know what to call it but I feel guilty/stressed about everything lately. I feel guilty for leaving my LO at daycare even though I know she is being taken care of, have had absolutely no problems, and I can tell she is getting something out of it (getting better at tummy time/head control/etc). I feel guilty b/c DH and I are thinking about going away for a couple of days over Labor Day weekend and leaving her with the grandparents. I feel guilty when we are with one set of grandparents b/c the other set isn't getting their time. I feel guilty when she has a bad night and I get "frustrated" because I'm tired.

Anyone else having this?

tlxh7 · August 2011

Yep. I feel guilty when I'm not playing with Lila but getting stuff done around the house, I feel guilty when I'm playing with her but not getting stuff done around the house, I feel guilty when I take some "me" time. It sucks. I feel like a basic failure at life right now - I've never struggled so much to get into a routine!

ac311 · August 2011

Yes! Everything has me feeling guilty; going out to lunch at work, not playing/holding LO enough after work, etc. I just keep reminding myself that it will pass, we will get used to a schedule and adjust.

Lisa Frank · August 2011

It will never stop or go away. You need to learn to tell that little voice to shut up Wink It took me awhile, and I rarely feel this way anymore (although it still creeps in!) I'm happy, my kids are happy. That's all that matters.

Oh, and we are going away for our anniversary over Labor Day, too. We do it every year. Just think about how much fun the grandparents will have with your DD! And you will come back a well-rested new Mommy who is reconnected with her husband.

disneyfan0511 · August 2011

Yes I have "Mom" "Work" and "Wife" guilt... I feel like I need a clone to fully get through the day.

Temp38995750004016 · August 2011

Sometimes I wonder if I am playing with her enough, when I get things done around the house during her playtime. It can't be all that interesting to watch me fold laundry and say "This is Daddy's BLUE shirt! Can you say BLUE?" I'm not back at work yet, but I can't imagine how I will feel when I do.

We are going away for a weekend in September and another in October. I kind of can't wait!!

samjpro · August 2011

Lisa Frank:
It will never stop or go away. You need to learn to tell that little voice to shut up It took me awhile, and I rarely feel this way anymore (although it still creeps in!) I'm happy, my kids are happy. That's all that matters.
Oh, and we are going away for our anniversary over Labor Day, too. We do it every year. Just think about how much fun the grandparents will have with your DD! And you will come back a well-rested new Mommy who is reconnected with her husband.

Thanks for this. I keep telling myself I'm just still adjusting to being back and work and being a mom and that I will "chill out" eventually.

h2ojock13 · August 2011

I have the worst mom guilt ever. I was trying to figure out if it was PPD or "mom guilt" it brings me to tears daily if not multiple times during the
day. I work, I gave my son Eczema, I have some genetic thing that makes two of our toes be connected higher up than normal and his connect higher up than mine do.My breast milk isn't good enough to make him poop daily, my milk is high in lipase so now all the milk in my freezer I can't use for him. The list goes on and on.

McAllie5 · August 2011

BabyWillMake3:
I have the worst mom guilt ever. I was trying to figure out if it was PPD or "mom guilt" it brings me to tears daily if not multiple times during the
day. I work, I gave my son Eczema, I have some genetic thing that makes two of our toes be connected higher up than normal and his connect higher up than mine do.My breast milk isn't good enough to make him poop daily, my milk is high in lipase so now all the milk in my freezer I can't use for him. The list goes on and on.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! You've got to know that it's not your "fault" about what traits he has gotten, and aside from that, they're what make him himself. Just think: when he's seven he'll be the coolest kid for having a unique toe connection.

And the breast milk thing: him not pooping daily likely means that he's using every bit of your milk because it's so good. Some days my DS poops 2x, but more often it's once a day, and sometimes he doesn't poop in a day. That's normal for this age, as long as when he does poop it looks like normal baby poop and isn't hard.

I'm sorry about the freezer milk, but on the bright side you at least know the situation so that any more milk you freeze you can pull out sooner to determine how long it lasts in there.

((Hugs))

And to the OP, I have mom guilt whenever I put him on his playmat. He's having fun, but I feel like if I'm here I should be playing with him. And then I worry that I'm not giving him enough tummy time. And when I put him on his tummy and he wails, I feel bad that I interrupted him being happy just to make myself feel better about his development. I feel bad handing him off to DH at the end of the day. I'm his mom, shouldn't I want to spend all the time hat I can with him? And I feel guilty for sitting around while breastfeeding and not doing chores at the same time.

Athena0809 · August 2011

Yes. Guilt that I still haven't gotten down a routine, everyday is different and I wonder am I doing things right. Wife guilt that I'm not in the mood anymore, guilt that we decided I'd stay home, but our finances are suffering and I feel like it's my fault....