Shower Advice Re: Hostess...

Garnetbaby09

My oh so sweet and quite wealthy little sister is playing hostess at my shower in December.  She is amazing at party planning so I knew when she volunteered it was going to be quite extravagant.  I'm more conservative, and she knows this, but conveniently forgets anytime she plans events for me.  Anyway!  She called me yesterday and had me look up the website for the place she booked for the shower.  Its a quaint tea room in the middle of town (conveniently located) that also comes with a $22/person charge plus $50 facility fee not including the menu.  They accomodate 12 people minimum and 22 max.  I feel somewhat guilty that she chose a place that was this expensive but also, with the guest list I have worked out, there is more than 22 people I am pretty confident will come.  How do I not include co-workers whom I've been working with for 4 years now and be sure I can have both my side AND DH's side of the family invited?  How inappropriate would it be to host my own work shower? 

JARbaby

I bet work will throw you a shower. DO NOT host your own.

And $22/pp for a party is CHEAP. She is getting off golden.

EastCoastBride

Well, either be honest w/ her.  "My list is larger than 22". HOWEVER, as the hostess, she does have the right to say "I can' only afford to include __ people".

And no- you can't host your own shower no matter what.  Are you really doing anyone any favors by having a party so that they can buy you gifts?

Just keep her shower to family only.  If a coworker inquires, just tell them the situation and then just sit back and maybe THEY will decide to throw you a shower.

But honestly- this idea of "including" people to a GIFT GIVING event.... eh, it's lost on me.  I realize people will want to come, but at the same time - I jsut don't see inviting people to a SHOWER as a "Oh- how do I make them feel included" event.  If you want to include them, have a "meet the baby party" after it's born and where the focus is NOT on gifts!

TimingisEverything

I think it would be very inappropriate to host your own work shower. If these people at your work are really good friends, mention to them your dilemma above and maybe somebody at work will offer to throw you one.

Garnetbaby09

EastCoastBride:

Well, either be honest w/ her.  "My list is larger than 22". HOWEVER, as the hostess, she does have the right to say "I can' only afford to include __ people".

And no- you can't host your own shower no matter what.  Are you really doing anyone any favors by having a party so that they can buy you gifts?

Just keep her shower to family only.  If a coworker inquires, just tell them the situation and then just sit back and maybe THEY will decide to throw you a shower.

But honestly- this idea of "including" people to a GIFT GIVING event.... eh, it's lost on me.  I realize people will want to come, but at the same time - I jsut don't see inviting people to a SHOWER as a "Oh- how do I make them feel included" event.  If you want to include them, have a "meet the baby party" after it's born and where the focus is NOT on gifts!

 

I really like that idea of meeting the baby after she is born!  Oh, and this is Dh's side of the family's first grandbaby so they are ecstatic.  Not including them would be the start of WWIII in our family...

betsnup

You can't host your own work shower.  Just be honest with her and tell her that you have more people than the room can accommodate on your guest list.  She'll tell you if that's the max she can do, or if she is willing to look around for a different place.

Garnetbaby09

Re: coworkers- many of them are good friends as well.  They've crossed that line from being "just coworkers" and have been asking me about this shower since my sister offered to throw it.  I'll explain to them the situation.  And I'm not a gift grubber!  DH and I have bought everything we should need including essentials and big ticket items.  We were look at this shower as more of a celebration than a gift party.

EastCoastBride

Don't get me wrong- I feel FAMILY is the priority.  I was talking more about your coworkers!!  I do realize that familiy not getting invited can absolutely cause hurt feelings.  My comments were more about non-related people!!

Sunndraggon

I really don't like the idea of hosting your own shower. I would imagine work will have one for you anyway. It willmostlikelynot be anything fancy, and will happen at work, but thats much better than hosting your own.

 

As for $22 a person....thats a bargain!!!!

Aprilsies

I would give her your total list of people you want invited I guess - and maybe she'll decide to change it. I guess since she's throwing it it's up to her. And if she does't invite your work friends someone else may have one for you.

megs042107

ditto JAR on all counts.

tell your sister that while you very much appreciate her efforts in planning, your guest list exceeds 22 people. ?is it possible to find a venue that could accommodate a larger party? ?i mean, if you shared the guest list with her ahead of time, i'm not sure why she chose a place that can only sit 22 max...

if she refuses, then you kind of have to go along with it. ?if your husband's family is so thrilled, perhaps they will throw a shower of their own. ?and your sister, as the hostess, may be willing to have that discussion with someone in your H's family. ?my MIL wanted to host her own shower for us with her family... so none of them were invited to the one that my mom hosted.?

Garnetbaby09

Thank you ladies.  Always so helpful!