So here's an issue I doubt anyone else has

mlm1128

DD has this habit. SHe either squeezes my arms or pinches them so hard that she hurts me. When I ask her to stop, she tells me that she does it because she loves me so much and she just can't help it. I literally have bruises on my arms from her. I have talked to her over and over again and told her that hurting me is not a way to show she loves me. She does it again, and then says "oops, sorry, I just can't help it". It's making me insane. How do I stop it without completely hurting her feelings given the reason it happens?

Cbidt's girl

Have you tried giving her alternative ways to demonstrate her overwhelming love? Like maybe a tight hug? Or maybe a stress ball she can squeeze tightly instead?

mlm1128

I actually have. And she does demonstrate her love in many, many ways. She tells me she loves me about 200 times a day, hugs me constantly, wants to play with me all the time. I know she isn't just making an excuse either. I mean I'm glad she loves me so much, but the physical pain is a little too much!

MelandJeff

omg. I am your DD with my son. I am constantly squeezing him until he turns blue. I have grabbed his little chunky thighs so hard he has winced. I tell him I love him 201 times a day.

I need help. LOL

 

 

sunandsand

My DS pinches my arm absentmindedly when he is sleepily watching elmo in my lap. It hurts! But I can't help ya, he's too little to reason with.

jettagurl

Do you give her an honest reaction to the pain like, "ouch! that hurts!"  It may shock her, but maybe just gently telling her that it hurts doesn't hold merit since you're not expressing the hurt.   

Gabi will squeeze/pinch the skin on my chest/neck when we're cuddling and I always say, "Ow! that hurts! don't hurt me!"  She'll cry (she's not quite 2) for about 5 seconds, then she's fine and doesn't do it again while we're setting there.  I expect her to do it again, as she's still very young, but you DD should grasp pretty soon that she's really hurting you.  

Or just try flat out telling her to stop, then discipline the behavior like you would anything else.  Maybe if she does that, then she won't be able to hug you the rest of the day.  I know you want to be gentle about it, but you wouldn't want her doing this to school friends, teachers, or other family members, right?

 

 

mlm1128

No, I wouldn't want her to do it to others. So far she doesn't. I am the chosen one for this. I guess I just have to be more firm.  Because frankly, one day I am going to snap and it may scare her when I scream "OOWW" at the top of my lungs out of frustration. It's just hard to discipline her for basically trying to say she loves me. Maybe I should squeeze her arm a time ar two and see how she responds.

UGAbride

I don't know how you haven't already said "OOWW!" at the top of your lungs, I know I would!  Just react honestly, and hopefully she'll see that it's hurting you and stop.  I could see my DS #1 possibly doing something like this, and maybe even pushing it a step further once he got a real reaction and trying it again...at that point I would discipline him for sure.  Anyway, I don't try to hold back from a reaction when something hurts, I totally want them to understand which actions are too rough (better to learn on me than another child).

Zenya

I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings.  It sounds like she's doing it for a reaction.  I'd flip out, honestly but it doesn't take much for me to overreact when it comes to physical things.