Too Stressed

jellyb3an

I posted this in the March 2012 board as well, but thought there may be a little more advice with experience?

My hubby and I have had 4 previous pregnancies, and were never able to carry to term, in fact we've never made it past 18 weeks. I had a hysteroscopy in Feburary and had been on some hormone treatments to try and increase fertility as well as since, the doctors say that everything should go just fine this time but I just can't get my head wrapped around that. Earlier this month we had a vaginal untrasound done and everything looked great, but because we've been able to see heart beat up to two hours before miscarrying I still can't get this over whelming fear that we're going to lose this little jellybean too. I've tried to eat right, excersice the best I can without violating Dr's orders, and cut out all caffine in my diet, but I am still tremendously sleepy, morning sickness comes in waves and isnt as bad as it has been in the past, but I've felt mild cramping almost the entire pregnancy, it (so far) has not been accompanied by any spotting or heavy bleeding--which should be a good sign for me. I am just so scared of losing baby, it seems to be the only thing that's floating around in my stressed out little head lately. Any advice on how to relax a bit?

LifetimeOfLove

First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry for your losses. I know it can be extremely difficult to relax with all you've been through. DH and I went through IVM to get pregnant. I was pregnant with twins and lost the one very early on. The rest of my pregnancy, I was soooooooo paranoid and had a hard time relaxing.

Has your doctor checked your progesterone levels? I was on suppositories for a long time. One of my friends had to go on supplements as well. She had 2 miscarriages. After the second miscarriage they found it was a progesterone issue.

As for relaxing, it is easier said then done; trust me. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy every minute of it (including the morning sickness)! I use to watch a lot of movies, read books, sit by the pool, and spend time with friends. Anything to get my mind off of it! Remember, stressing out is not good either!

Best of luck to you!

SecondTimeinMSU

I don't have anything to contribute other than wishing you all the best but I wanted to add maybe try posting to the "pregnant after a loss" board too. Maybe they can help offer words of support and understanding.

srs5624

First Time in MI:

I don't have anything to contribute other than wishing you all the best but I wanted to add maybe try posting to the "pregnant after a loss" board too. Maybe they can help offer words of support and understanding.

Ditto. All the girls on that board would have first hand experience and a lot more advice.

skio

I, too, am sorry for your past losses. I can't imagine how hard this is on you. We had a March 2011 mom on here who had lost two previous pregnancies and had a hard time for a while. I can't speak for her, but she seemed to stay very positive and everything was fabulous this time around. I believe she had a big healthy boy.

FWIW, I had cramping from the day I got my BFP up until about 10 or 11w. Try to remember that this is very normal.

Stay healthy like you are, and I suggest having your husband sit with you for maybe a half hour to an hour a night for some focused relaxation. Turn off the TV, play some calming music, and have him give you a backrub. Stay quiet and imagine together having a baby in your arms in a few months...focus on all the happy, positive things, and refuse to let any negativity creep in during these sessions. It's kind of like meditation...try it out and see if it helps, and try different things. Get some lavender lotion or something else that smells good and have hubby rub it on your back/arms/feet, whatever. It should be a nice bonding time for you and I think it will help immensely in calming your nerves, which you definitely need.

Tons of luck & sticky baby dust! I'll be thinking of you!

myst33

I'm so sorry for your previous losses. I had one loss just before 12 weeks (also heard the heartbeat twice) before the pregnancy that resulted in ds.  I also had some complications due to uterine fibroids that caused me to be out of work from November until I delivered in March. I was so so paranoid and stressed every day. On the advice of one of the nurses I spoke with regularly from my healthcare co, I started seeing a therapist to get me through the rest of my pregnancy. It really helped having someone to talk to- as I was driving my dh up a wall with my neurosis. Best of luck to you!

LynsiBHM

I am so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine what that must do to you, emotionally, when trying again.  I just want to let you know that it's normal to worry. I had no previous losses or health issues and feared miscarriage every day of my (perfectly healthy) pregnancy. It's just such a precious thing, it's scary to think of losing it.  But if it's becoming overwhelming for you, maybe talking to someone (professionally or otherwise) will help.  My only other advice would be to remain positive and just focus on the little miracle at the end of this 9 months! Good luck & hugs!

hispenguin

I'm so sorry for your losses. I truly hope that this is your take home baby.

I think the only thing you really can do is just try and take it one day at a time. I had a lot of anxiety throughout my pregnancy, and didn't fully start to relax until she was in my arms (then a new sort of anxiety sets in!). Like others have mentioned just try and enjoy every second of it. The time you are pregnant is so short and precious without spending so much time worrying. This I learned firsthand.