F/U to the "Moms of 3" post below

Artslvr

I was thinking more about the post below and these are just some thoughts from a mom of three - 4.5 yr. old, 2.5 yr. old, and a 9 month old.

We had ours close together because - this sounds negative, it's really not - we wanted to get it over with.  We wanted to get the sleepless/tied to the house/world revolves around nap schedules part over with.  I mean, I'm enjoying every second of every day with these kids - so I'm not saying I'm trying to rush this - in fact, I want them all to stop growing up SO DAMN FAST.  I'm turning 37 this month and lets face it, three kids in four years is exhausting.  But anyway, that was our thinking on the "how far apart do you space your kids" issue - for me it was "if we're going to do this, we better just DO it before I lose my nerve."

One thing to remember - a huge "pro" to having more than one kid, in my opinion - is that the kids hit an age when they finally play together - and entertain each other - and it's awesome awesome awesome!  Our 4.5 and 2.5 yr old are true playmates, so we can send them downstairs to their toy room or send them out in the back yard and say "go play" - and - they do!  It's great!  The baby rolls around on his play mats, the girls play together, and DH and I can actually accomplish things around the house.  It's a true miracle!

As far as your oldest missing out because all the focus is on the newborn - I just have to reiterate what I tell people all the time - in our family it's the total opposite.  The 4.5 and 2.5 year olds are the ones who get all the attention - because they walk and talk and make demands.  Recently I'd say the middle child - the 2.5 yr. old - is the center of attention because she's at the tail end of potty traning (nothing gets your parents' attention away from your siblings more than saying "I need to go potty!"), and, well, she's 2, so she is an attention hog. So future-mothers-of-three beware!  With us, we feel guilty about the lack of attention #3 is getting, not #1 and #2.  I'm sure it's different in all families, but that's my experience.

Re: dividing up the parenting work.  In our household, one parent usually tends to the girls (#1 and #2) and the other tends to the baby.  You just divide and conquer.  With the girls being so close in age, they are interested in similar things - similar activities, toys, etc. So DH might take them both to the grocery store, which is a fun outing if they're both in a good mood, while I stay home with the baby to fold laundry - because at 9 month this kid is the happiest when he's rolling around on the floor trying to crawl.  So for us, having the third kid didn't change the "hey, you take this one, and I'll take that one" kind of parenting we were doing with just two kids.

This is getting long, but I just had these random thoughts about that post - such a great topic.

 

 

kafunder

Thanks for posting this. I was hoping you'd weigh in, and it really makes me feel better about the possibility of #3. We also just want to get all the infant stage stuff over with b/c it's definitely not my favorite.

And, I have to agree that having two close together (or at the same time like us) so they can play together definitely makes things easier. Even at almost a year old, we put them down in the living room in baby jail and let them "play" together, and they are perfectly happy as long as the other one is nearby.

vtkgirl77

I only have 2 kids but I agree and I feel very similar. I thought I was crazy for wanting to TTC #3 soon but I feel like except for the first year, it will be easier to have DD#2 and #3 close in age. I'm also in the camp that I want to get it done. Having a newborn is wonderful and also incredibly taxing. DH is 43 so he also doesn't want to wait too long.

Sofka

we are 2 and done but I was definitely in the "get it over with" camp!

 

Hey Jellisy

I keep on telling myself I want the same timing for number 3 (22 months apart) but I wonder if it might be nicer to enjoy some of toddler time and then have 3 (and possibly 4).  If we were stopping at 3, I am not sure I would go for the break, but since we are considering 4..... 

Heather6907

Sofka:

we are 2 and done but I was definitely in the "get it over with" camp!

 

Me too!  Nothing wrong with that!

 

AgrippaRidesAgain

Sofka:

we are 2 and done but I was definitely in the "get it over with" camp!

 

Us too!  We were very close to the child age where we would have said, "Never mind, I don't want to do all of that over again!"

 

Baby4OT

I agree with everything artslvr said - all of it from "get it over with" to the playmates part to the third getting the short end of the stick on attention to divide and conquer parenting. My kids are almost 5, 2.5, and 2 months. I'm only not PTing DD2 right now because I'm not ready to give her even more attention that she'll need while PTing when I have a 2 month old!

We're probably done with three kids precisely for the reason that we're ready to move on to more fun stuff and less tied to infant routines. This summer was hard for DD1 and DD2 because it was SO hot out that I couldn't take a newborn out much so we haven't gone to the pool, splashgrounds, playgrounds, etc very much. We still went to friends' houses, library, etc but not much outside. I just keep thinking about all the stuff that we can attempt next year when we don't have a newborn and I'm not pg!

slukd79

I just wanted to say thanks for this post. Since I am pregnant with number two and the baby was a surprise, we have been panicking a bit that they will be too close in age (just over 2 years apart.) But reading this gives me hope for future playmates at some point down the road.