Trying to figure out what to do

LuluP82

Hello ladies,

This might be a bit long, but I need advice and am not sure where else to go for it.

I'm married and expecting my first-- and his first--, due in February. We've been married for about a year, together for 5, and have had a lot of changes in the past 2 years (lay-offs, new jobs, 2 "permanent" moves with a 3 month stint in a hotel room in yet another location). We now live somwhere where I telecommute to work and travel a lot, and know no one-- no family, no friends. We are here for H's job.

He seemed to be as excited about the baby as I am-- pitching in around the house more, taking care of me, etc. But, we've had a few fights around the fact that I'm pregnant (since I'm tired a lot, can't do certain things we used to be able to do together, and since apparently I just care about the baby now, not him). It seems ridiculous to me-- H is a grown up man and it sounds to me like he's jealous of the baby. Anyway, our last fight was yesterday, and after a particularly heated argument, he told me I better not come back from my next trip (leave Wed, due back next Monday).

I'm due for an ultrasound today (a special ultrasound that my OB ordered because of neural tube defect concerns which didn't come up in time for an NT scan) and H says I'm on my own, so I can go alone.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do.  I don't think it's fair for him to kick me out of my house-- what am I supposed to do, in two days figure out a new place to live and pack up all of my things and go? If I leave the state like that, will he be able to use it against me later? I'm a lawyer but I don't practice in this state and never have practiced family law, H has so I'm afraid he's using knowledge of this state's laws to trap me somehow into no support. Or should I come back, take my time, talk to a lawyer here and tell him to leave if he doesn't want to see me? Any advice at all would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Annplus1

Woah... You guys went from a few fights to you being kicked out of the house? First and formost, he want's you gone, he can leave. Your job is to the safety and well-being of that baby you are taking care of.

Have you guys considered seeing a therapist? I know it's kicked around here a lot, but it sounds like you have had some MAJOR life stressing changes, and haven't dealt with them. The jealous of the baby thing is normal, to an extent but your DH is acting like a 3 year old. It's time for you to stand up and say No to your DH regarding you moving out and insist on seeing a MC to at least work on communication.

Good Luck. Speaking from personal experience, going through a divorce while pregnant sucks. Take care of yourself.

 

PrincessFiona9

I definitely would not move out. I'd tell him to GTFO if he wants to end the marriage. It's your house too. I would consult a lawyer in your state who can give you info about specific laws. Then I would start working on a plan to move somewhere closer to your family/support system.

LuluP82

Thanks everyone.

 I think  that's what I'm going to do. He wants to talk tonight after work, so I'm going to tell himwe need togo to counseling ASAP.

I'm also going to consult my dad's lawyer when I go home in a couple of days. Not the same state, but he can give me advice on what happens if I do move out of state before the baby's born. I definitely do not want to stay here-- only here for him anyway.