How did your older LO adjust?

LJR 84

DS is going on 3 weeks old now and today has been my first day watching both by myself. DS is luckily a VERY good baby. (So far, at least...haha) He's very laid back, sleeps pretty well, and hardly ever fusses and/or cries.

DD, however...DEMANDS my constant attention. My mom has been here for the past three weeks giving her just that. She's only 13 months old but I'm thinking we have her spoiled. She's seriously been fussing all day. If I have to BF DS, hold him, etc, she has a really hard time with it. (We're talking serious crying and fit throwing).She tries to take his blankets, pacis (she never even liked pacis), and will literally try to sit in my lap when I'm holding him! She's also very hard to get down for naps. All in all my experience hasn't been bad so far- I'm just wondering if anyone has had any similar experiences.

I'd appreciate some advice! (Or for someone to just say that she'll adjust and get better...) Thanks!

kcisthebombdotcom

I'll give you a little bit of both!

First, your toddler will adjust and get better.

Things that you can help with the transition is involve her in EVERYTHING. DS wanted to sit on my lap while I fed LO? I'd put baby in the football hold and let him sit on my lap. I'd sit on the ground and play toys with him while I held the baby. Basically, I did everything I did with him pre-baby, except with a baby in my arms.

In terms of taking his stuff, no/redirect her to something else is all you can really do.

GL and hang in there! It will get easier, promise. This week will be tough if this is her first week without someone around giving her constant attention, but it will get better and better as the weeks pass.

SweetBaby2004

KC_13:

I'll give you a little bit of both!

First, your toddler will adjust and get better.

Things that you can help with the transition is involve her in EVERYTHING. DS wanted to sit on my lap while I fed LO? I'd put baby in the football hold and let him sit on my lap. I'd sit on the ground and play toys with him while I held the baby. Basically, I did everything I did with him pre-baby, except with a baby in my arms.

In terms of taking his stuff, no/redirect her to something else is all you can really do.

GL and hang in there! It will get easier, promise. This week will be tough if this is her first week without someone around giving her constant attention, but it will get better and better as the weeks pass.

This.  DD#1 was 19 months old when DS arrived, so she was a little bit older and more "helpful."  She would go get us a diaper if we needed it, she loved to look at brother and "talk" to him, she would try to give him toys, etc.  We praised her constantly when she did things well or right - brought us something we needed, sang a song to brother, whatever.  We made a big deal out of DD#1 being a big sister.

We also asked any guests and visitors to acknowledge her first before cooing and aaaahing over baby.  We read to her while we were feeding DS and just tried to make sure it wasn't always about the baby; that she got one-on-one time with us too (especially me since I am a working mom and DH is a SAHD).

DD#2 will be 26 months old when this baby comes and we are already talking about her becoming a big girl and being helpful.  Again, older than your situation, but it will get better.

DJB2010

I dont have two yet...but I just wanted to tell you that my DD was VERY whiney at 13 months. She was not herself but after that month she was much better. I dont know what it is about that phase but it will end.

And I bet she will get use to having her little brother around. Good Luck and you can do it.  

rgtsmom01

Well, I didn't have that problem in the beginning because my oldest was only 10 months old.  But, now that they are almost 18 months and 8 months for the past 5 months I have been involving my oldest in everything.  I have him bring me things hold the bottle etc., whatever he will do even if it's for a short minute I have him do it.  He has been adjusting well, I am just working on the sharing of his toys