Vent.

dimake

You know how I posted last week that my parents were over-worried about me taking a road trip with my daughters?

The situation has exploded.  She has been insinuating that I'm not a capable parent, and that somehow going on this trip will kill my kids and I'll regret it.  She is telling everybody I'm too independent.  And it's not the car ride - she's convinced that somehow I won't be able to keep track of my kids in a crowded place.

My mom has major anxiety issues, and now she hasn't talked to me for a week and she's dragging every other family member into it.  This weekend is my daughter's birthday.  WTF? I'm distancing myself from my family members so that they don't feel like they have to be "in the middle" with me - but the ones that live with her have to hear about it constantly.  I feel like I don't really have a support system, and maybe I never did. 

Sad thing is - the only person who has really been there for me is XH, and internet strangers.

sweetie0228

There is no such thing as too indepenent. She is placing her fears about how she would feel in your situation on you.

You are not responsible for her emotions.

 

You ARE NOT responsible for her emotions.

 

Go on with your plans, have a fun time.  Come back happy and refreshed with a new sense of confidence and independence.  Don't worry about her you go about your life.  Show your children what a strong confident independent woman can accomplish with grace and determination.

 

You are not responsible for her emotions.

alibabbbs

Oh no, D! I'm so sorry. I didn't read your original post (I rarely check in over here these days what with all of the drama and trainwrecks.), but it must feel awful for your mom to convey that she doesn't trust your abilities as a mother.

It sounds like it has everything to do with her own anxiety issues and nothing to do with you as a parent. Her concerns don't even make sense. You've clearly demonstrated that you are capable of keeping up with your kids in a crowded place, so why wouldn't you be able to do so on a road trip??

It's also awful that she's turning it into a major family issue involving lots of people. . Is she going to celebrate DD's birthday with you?

It may seem like your ex is being supportive now, but unless he's done a shitton of therapy, I gotta say that I'd be worried about you getting involved with him again. Narcissists generally don't change.

Mostly I just want to say that I'm sorry, and let me know if I can do anything. 

dimake

Thanks ladies, I've been holding to "I'm not fighting with anybody, this is her issue."

I still have no idea if she plans on coming to the party tomorrow.

XH has been more "himself" over the past year or so...  but right now I'm not thinking re-involvement very much just because I'm just not big on being involved with anybody.  The independence thing, I'm loving it.