Bedtime Routine for 2 kids if you have to do it by yourself?

jf198400

As my husband always says I'm probably "pre-freaking out" on this since it's months until baby #2 arrives, but I thought of this the other day and can't help wondering what to do.  DH works long hours with a longgg commute so he sometimes isn't home until after DD goes to bed.  Ideally with 2 kids we could each put one child to bed, but I know that in our situation that will probably only happen half the time.  DD will be 18 months when this LO arrives, currently she goes to bed sometime between 8 and 9.  If you have to put both kids to bed by yourself, how do you manage it??

firsttogo

You be flexible! Whenever I see posts about moms needing advice on putting kids to bed, I scratch my head. Not that it is easy by any means, but you have to let go of the notion that there is a science to it or routine for the first few months. You wear baby, someone fusses for a bit ect. 

A big thing that helps us is that our "routine" is exceptionally short. Hubs calls it the B's! Bath, Bottle, Butts, Bed. Sometimes we don't do bath, some of them don't get a bottle, ect. But when DD is eating, DSs are watching a Word World, or something on Sprout. (DVR is a miracle!) Then, bedtime is simple. In to bed, hugs, kisses, goodnight. No books, (we read through out the day) no 3 more songs, ect.

It has to be that way around here. Our kids are loved, snuggled,  and we spend a lot of time with them, but bedtime is pretty much what it is (barring sickness ect)

When baby is tiny, there is a little more up in the air, but same idea. When our kids were tiny, the older one(s) would go to bed, and we would keep baby in the RNP sleeper next to us on the couch or wherever we were and tend to her needs after DSs were in bed.  

I am a pre-worrier too, but the lesson I have learned is to let go, and go with it! 

mrsseguin

My response may not help much because my kids are farther apart than yours (they are 25 months apart).  Before #2 arrived, I worked pretty hard to get DS into an easier bedtime routine than what we were doing.  We had to lay with him till he fell asleep, which could sometimes take upwards of an hour. 

I think a big help was when DD came along, when it came to her bedtime, which was earlier than #1, we would just lay her in her crib and she would fall asleep on her own.  We would not go in unless she was crying.  We let her fuss and she' fall asleep.  She has also been in her crib in her own room since day 1.  Now that she is almost 8 months old, she is and always has been able to fall asleep on her own and she's a great sleeper.  I don't know of we just got lucky...or if it's because of our routine we do.  Naps are a totally different story though...

 

juliane2004

My kids go to sleep very easily. It takes about 2 minutes to do their "routine", which is just diaper change and pjs and say goodnight. Also, my kids go to bed 1 hour apart, so it's not really "at the same time".

Gen & Joel

I am going to be going throught he exact same thing! LO will be 21 months when #2 arrives. right now we lay him down and he goes to sleep on his own but we will be moving into a new home and i'm hoping and praying that he will be back to that routine before the #2 arrives. Dh works 2- 24hr shifts a week so i know i have at least 2 days a week that i will be doing it alone! And to be honest that's the only part that scares me about 2u2 is getting them both down! good luck and i hope we get some good pointers.

BrittKav

Bedtime is the most difficult part of the day, but it's manageable. DD2 (Hazel) goes to bed at 7:00, and DD1 (Annie) goes to bed at 7:30. While Annie is eating supper around 6:30, I'll change Hazel's diaper and get her jammies on. After I clean up Annie from supper I put her pajamas on, and by that time it's about 6:45. Annie plays with her toys for a little bit while I nurse Hazel. Then I put Hazel in her crib, quickly getting her tucked in and settled before Annie runs in and ruins everything. After Hazel is in bed Annie will usually want to nurse, so we'll nurse and then read books until bedtime. Usually Hazel cries a couple times and I need to go in and give her her pacifier, while making sure Annie stays out of her room so she doesn't get her riled up. At 7:30 I put Annie in her crib, tuck her in, and she puts herself to sleep pretty quickly. 

I guess it's really not that hard, unless both girls are really whiney and clingy...which happens often.

CaitlinJ22

DH works on a rig for 3 weeks, so I do it alone a lot. Mine are 18 m apart too.

When DD was a newborn she tended to sleep in the swing at night when DS needed to be put down. It worked out well. I would bathe him whle she was in the bouncer and then get him to bed while she was happy or asleep. I have to say I did have a window of time to work with and when she was asleep it was his bedtime. Sometimes he waited longer, sometimes he was in bed 20 mins earlier...whatever worked. As she got older I would give her toys and hang them on her bouncer and she was good for 10 mins. Sometimes I would bring her in the room with us and he didnt notice, and then I would put him down and grab her and leave.

As she was sitting age, I stuck her in the PNP and gave her toys and she would be happy. When she started to go to bed earlier and before him it got tricky. I would put on a show for him on netflix and tell him I had to put her to bed. I gave him a snack and drink and locked the gates to the living room. This was closer to when he was 2...he was starting to understand that I would be right back. Many times he would tip toe into her room and see me nursing and say loudly "Eva night night!" that was rough. BUT I worked with him and eventualy he would come in and whisper...and with the sound machine she couldnt hear. I would sign sleep to him and he knew she was sleeping and would go back out to the living room. He still does this now. 

Were there times that one was crying while the other was being put down to bed? Yes. two times DD fussed/cried her self to bed when I didnt want her to. You do what you have to do and I tried. Some nights they screamed at the same time, and I had to tend to the easier one first...whoever that was at the time. NOW I will say DS is understaning more at 2.5 so I can tell him Ill be back in 10 mins and since DD is no longer nursing, it takes me 5 mins to get her down. 

Its doable and you will be fine. You'll find your groove  

Qmommy

I'm in the same boat as you and will have 2 just 18 months apart.  Right now my plan is to stagger bedtime.  

MammaBear81

When we have a LO at first they aren't really part of the "routine" since they eat/sleep around the clock, so I usually planned for LO to be asleep while bath/bedtime was going on, but if not, a bouncy seat in the bathroom, or the swing worked wonders!

Now I have a "routine" that works for us:  All the kids are in the play room, start the bath and get pajamas and towels for the girls and the baby.  Bring the baby and the girls up, DD1 can undress herself, DD2 needs a little help, they both put their clothes in the hamper.  Put the girls in the tub, wash etc. take the oldest one out, dry off brush teeth and let her dress herself in the bathroom (when she is done she will go across the hall to her bedroom).  Put the baby in the bath seat (it looks like a bouncy seat that can go in the tub)  Wash DD2 and the baby.  Take the baby out, dry and dress, put in boppy in the bathroom.  Take out DD2, brush teeth and dress.  DD2 walks across the hall to her room while I carry the baby.  Put DD2 in her crib, tuck in DD1 and say good night.

Call the boys upstairs and swaddle the baby and put him in his bassinet.  The boys will come upstairs, undress, put their clothes in the hamper and get in the tub on their own while I am wrapping up the baby.  After the baby is down wash the boys, take them out, dry off, brush teeth and send them to get their PJ's on.  Bring up water, say good night and turn out the lights! From start to finish it takes about 30 minutes.. 45 if I let them play in the tub for a bit.

Our house is set up with all the bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs in close proximity, so it works really well.  If the bathroom wasn't near the bedrooms it wouldn't work as well.

LIAngel

So far what's worked for me is this:  Give both kids a bath at the same time.  Get DD dressed in PJ's and lay her on DS's floor while I put his PJs on.  Then we all go into DD's room while I give her her bottle.  DS will play quietly in her room while I feed DD. Then I put DD in her crib, then I take DS into his room and read him 3 books. 

rgtsmom01

My husband travels for his job so I am very used to putting the kids down by myself.  My kids have always been on a tight routine from day one so I don't have any problems.  Both kids go down right around 7pm.  My house is child proof so there is not much they can get into to hurt them and they have a play area with all of there toys.  So about 5 till 7 I take my LO and a bottle and feed him real quick and then just lay him down while the oldest is playing with toys or sometimes he will come in the room with me and hang out. Then I take a bottle I already made for the oldest grab him go to his room feed him really quick lay him down and that's it.  From the beginning I never rocked them to sleep so they just go right down or hang out in there crib until they fall asleep. 

KimW

For the first few months it was really hard, almost impossible.  But that's becuase DS needed me to nurse him while lying down, then I had to sneak away (he slept in our bed until he started rolling).  Sometimes it was for an hour.  DD never would have kept still or quiet that long. 

Now, it's a breeze.  While I'm nursing DS, DD watches cartoons, or hangs out in DS's room.  I (or we) read him some stories and then put him in his crib.  Then it's DD's turn for teeth, potty, books, songs, and bed.

I'm going to ditto what the PP said...just go with the flow until you can establish a bedtime routine for both.  Use your swing or a carrier w/ the baby while you're putting #1 down, or use tv and some snacks while you're putting #2 down.  Good luck!

 And I'm not sure what your nighttime routine with your LO looks like now, but work on it if your LO has trouble going down.  It's so much easier when that part goes smoothly.

roundtheworldgirl

I don't have to, but in practice one of us handles bedtime these days.  We've had the two of them going down at the same time (7:30ish) since DD2 was about 6-7 months old (she is now 10 months and DD1 is 22.5 months).  It makes things much simpler.  Now, on bath nights (every other night), the routine is such:

Both of them get a bath at the same time.  Until about two weeks ago, DD2 sat in a bath seat and DD1 got free range over the tub.  Now they both just sit in the tub.  WHen it's time to get out, DD1 is out first with a towel on her head, and we send her into the nursery (right next to the bathroom).  We take DD2 out and go into the nursery.  DD2 crawls around naked while DD1 gets lotioned up.  Then DD2 gets lotion.  Then DD1 gets a diaper, then DD2.  Then into pjs and sleepsacks, prayers, reading/rocking and singing in the glider.  If I haven't already nursed DD2, I will do it in the glider while DD1 plays on the floor first, then reading, rocking, singing and sleeping.

If you're having to do it alone, it's actually a little easier at first, if they have different bedtimes.  The trick is to occupy one while putting the other down.  This often involves crying.  You'll get used to it