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Aw

legaleagleslegaleagles member
in Northern California Babies
Harper Rose was born Tuesday august 2 at 9:16 pm. 19 inches and 6 pounds 6 ounces. The story. Monday as I mentioned on here last week I had my ob appt. Where she membranes. I was a loose 1 and soft and we scheduled induction for Saturday morning. I was crampy all day but not in any pain. Had dinner with the in-laws then all went for a walk. Did two milked and I was having increased cramping and a few contractions. Went up to in-laws hotel to go to the bathroom and have a cookie. Then pop...my water broke and there was no question(so think twice about sitting on hotel furniture in the future ) at 9 pm A biggish gush and then a steady stream. It was bloody so I got a little scared and was going to go straight to kaiser, but we called on the away and said it was fine to stop at home because it was prob from having my membranes stripped. I was having a geek mild contractions but nothing too bad. I got seen in triage and confirmed it was my bag of waters and got admitted to a room by around 11 pm or so. Contractions picked up some, but not too much and was checked for the first time around 4 am and was only 3 and 80%. First doc said baby had to be out at 24 hours so they would start talking about induction in a few hours. After the shift change I saw the new chief doc who is on the natural birth team and bc I was gbs neg she was okay with just ripening agent and not even starting pit until the 24 hour mark. This was at 9:30 am and by then just 4 cm. So she said ia should consider a reining agent to see if it helped me progress. We walked the halls for about 30 minutes and for the past few hours my contractions got shorter and further apart so we decided on one small dose of miso, which I wasnt thrilled about but after 12 hours I needed some progress. Once the miso kicked in contractions got very very string and painful...I had to scream through them. I got on the ball, used the shower, walked, etc for hours. I was checked again at 5 pm so 20 hours later and was only 5. I was in agony. I had been up since 8 am Monday morning and it was now Tuesday evening. I asked about pain meds reluctantly but after 20 hours and only getting to 5 I was feeling really defeated. I decided on the epidural. Anisthesiogist came in by 6 and started the epi. After the first dose I had 4 or 5 contractions and they were the worst I had felt. I was screaming , in tears, asking why the meds weren't working. I got another dose and felt all this pressure in my vagina and what I now know was the urge to push. I just didn't realize it. I screamed and told him again I needed more. He agreed to one more dose and if it didn't work he'd have to remove it and try another location. I was a mess...apologizing to alex for giving up, blaming myself for not being stronger, etc. the third dose worked and I felt so much better. But I wasn't contracting anymore. I was able to rest my body a bit and one of the docs came to check me at 8 pm while alex ran to the waiting room to get his dinner. By the time he came back the room was full of nurses and equipment bc I was 10 and she was ready to come...just had to wait for some sort of contractions to start pushing. The contractions I'd had earlier was a quick transition from 5-10 in the matter of minutes and the pressure wasm her dropping and me wanting to lush but not knowing it. Had alex eat quickly and at 8:15 I had a contraction and started to push. The nurse could see her head with the first lush. Pushed through 2 more contractions and it was time for the doc. I pushed two more times and she was born. I had some hemorrhaging so I needed pit to help control the blood loss and I had a third degree tear that needed a lot of repair the doc thinks ji tore so bad because I was pushing harder than I needed because I was so numb I couldn't tell what I was doing. That recovery has been really hard and painful but a little better each day. I kept her on my bare chest for about 1 1/2 hours before she was weighed, checked out. We were all surprised how little she was. We got moved to mother baby around 1 am. I had to have a catheter reinserted pp because of the numbness I couldn't pee. I slept a little bit that night but they were checking me every hour bc of the bleeding that I didn't really sleep much. Wednesday was ok, but by wednesday night she was inconsolable. She wasn't and still isn't latching well and not getting much if anything from the breast. The night nurse was great and we got an hour or two of sleep. Last bight, our first night home was awful. She didn't latch, didn't eat and didnt sleep. I didn't get any sleep last night. Ended up calling advice because I was worried something was wrong, but she was just starving. Had weight check and bilirubin test (because she was borderline jaundice at discharge) this morning. She was down to 5 pounds 11 ounces and not getting anything when she nursed. So I pumped there and got 1.25 ounces which alex gave her in the bottle and a plan. 10-15 minutes at the breast, then pump, and feed with bottle or sns. We did 1 ounce of formula during the first rotation while I pumped so we'd always have some pumped milk. Good thing is my milk has come in and in my last two pumping sessions I've gotten anout 2.5 ounces each time. I'm having so e engorgement issues so trying to massage and use compresses to help. But she still won't latch. Wont wake up to be at the breast, only when Alex gives her the bottle and then sleeps. I'm worried she'll be up all night since she's really slept all day and I don't know what I'll do. I did get a three hour nap in and am going to lay down in a few before her next feeding. I hate that we're already giving her a bottle and am really worried she'll never take the breast, but at least I have a supply and she can get my milk in some way ,but I really want this to work. I'm going to try the sns at the next feeding and see if that helps. Bilirubin was higher today so we have to go back on sunday for another check and if it's still higher then she may need the lights or blanket. I'm hopeful that since she's now getting milk she'll be peeing and pooing and that will help. Even though I'm struggling with how labor went, lack of sleep, bring issues I am so so in love and could stare at her all day.
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