WWYD?

CPA04

Divorce was finalized yesterday.  Today I feel much better about it (probably because of the drama XH is causing today).

Decree states that respondant will pick up child for each visit.  I specifically asked my lawyer if this meant he had to be present or if he could send someone else to pick up LO.  She said that he needed to do it-he is the parent.  It's in LO's best interest to know that "Daddy loves him so much he will come all the way here to spend time with me", not "Daddy doesn't care enough about me to come get me himself."

So - XH plans to send his mother the 110 miles to pick up B on Saturday morning.  XH is moving to his new home in the trailer court and just can't seem to find 4 hours another time to move the rest of his stuff the 4 miles from his parents' house to his new digs.  I told him he needs to be a parent and pick up his son or we need to reschedule (this is already a rescheduled visit for when he flaked and didn't want his visit when B was sick last month).

WDYT?

peeps61308

Stick to the court order. The papers were just signed yesterday. If you start allowing changes this early in the game you are going to be in trouble.

CPA04

peeps61308:

Stick to the court order. The papers were just signed yesterday. If you start allowing changes this early in the game you are going to be in trouble.

My thoughts exactly.  It's a slippery slope - once you give in "just this time", all of a sudden it will be every time.

CPA04

tifanico:

I agree with Peeps, if he doesnt come personally then you wont hand the kid out, as simple as that.

I really think thats a little bit unrealistic though. What if at some point you marry and would want your husband to pick up the child?

Does it only apply for him or for you too? If its only for him, he really had a lousy lawyer,  

It applies to both of us, meaning I can't send someone else to pick him up either.  LO is not a piece of freight that should just be transported to and from because XH is too busy to pick up his son.  (And not "too busy" legitimately - just selfishly).  I think it's important for B to know who is going to pick him up every time and not wonder.  Seems like it would create anxiety as he gets a little older.  Besides - it's what we agreed to and signed right?  Not my fault he didn't know what he was agreeing to.  And the fact that the papers were filed less than 24 hours before, I mean, c'mon!  I'm flexible, knowing situations come up, but this is not one of them - this is his "I want, so I get" mentality.

As for the future, I'm going to count on the fact that he's going to end up in prison due to his alcoholism addiction or our situation will dramatically change in some way so that we will need to revisit the transportation issue anyway.  (Maybe when he gets a driver's license in 5 years or so?)