I think I need to chill out

CaptainSerious

I've been feeling really edgy since we submitted our request to adopt J.  I know it's because there's a matching session on the 31st, and there's nothing I can do but wait.  Our translated paperwork will all be submitted by tomorrow, and we don't know if we should expect an answer on the 31st, or if they will ask for more information, possibly delaying the referral.  So I'm incredibly angsty.

It's different this time than last time.  Throughout the process I have been far more calm, in part because we have M, and also because I know the process and am at ease with all/most the players.  It was a huge relief to hear that the orphanage director is advocating for us, and I'm pretty much assuming that J will join our family, but now I'm really also hoping that it happens before the end of the year, because several timing things, and how can you just not want your child to be with you rather than in an orphanage, no matter how good of an orphanage it is?  This time, I am not impatient because I have no idea how it's going to work out; I'm impatient because I have an idea and if it's not right, I need to know that as soon as possible, to minimize the heartbreak.

I'm also impatient because I know J, and just want to bring him home and move on as a family, no longer in transition.  I've spent over the last 3.5 years of my life working towards one adoption or another.  I'm ready for us just to be us, and to move forward as a family.  I'm ready to start dreaming about where we're going to live, go to work/school, and vacation, rather than when we might travel for the adoption and how that will affect everything else in our lives.  I'm ready to no longer have to be preparing my son, our house, and my heart for what's about to happen to our family dynamic.  I'm ready to move past family planning and back on track to living life as a cohesive unit and enjoying my most loved ones.

Today, I may have let some of my pent-up anxiety out on someone from our agency, because she took a week and a half just to get a check so she can have our post-placement report apostilled for Peru.  We met with our social worker over a month before the report was due, and now it's two weeks late and still hasn't been submitted, due to various delays on the agency's part.  When I received today's e-mail detailing the most recent delay, I responded and told her how upset and disappointed I was, and reminded them, again, how important it was to us that the report be on time, since we don't want it to negatively affect our second adoption.  I was not rude, but I definitely told her exactly how I felt.  I'm sure I'm blowing this out of proportion, but I don't really care, to be honest.  I'm not expecting a reply, and that's fine too.  I just needed to let her know it was unacceptable.

MrsKolasa

Well, my dear- if you find a way to remain calm in the midst of this whole thing, then you need to bottle it up and sell it. You'll be rich! ;-)

I'm sorry that the agency is not moving as quickly as they should and I would have done the same thing that you did. I'm sure they understand that this is your family your child that you are working towards, and any tiny delay will be huge to you.

Hang in there, Mama. Big hugs.

DavezWife

I'm comin' in for a hug just because I know what it's like to have your life on hold slash centered around wanting kid(s) for so long. TO ACHE to hold them like that.

Hang in there... Keep swimming ;-)

 

myohogirrll

Are you kidding me? I'd be furious! But of course since she's working for you you need to keep it cordial. I don't know how you couldn't have been upset and more importantly she needed to know you're upset and how important this is. Hang in there. xo

kekis

Sounds like you handled it well considering the circumstances.  I'd sent you some patience from me, but patience is not a virtue I possess (great for an infertile and potential adopter, huh?!).  Keep plugging & know we're here for you!

ps - LOVE your sig pic! 

CaptainSerious

Thanks, everyone.  I'm doing a bit better today.

Part of the problem is also that work's slow, so I have a lot of time to ruminate.  I've been finding things to keep me busy, and that helps.  I just hope that we get an answer by the end of the month.

foundmylazybum

You sound READY!

1) I love your new siggy. Off topic but I just had to tell you that.

2) You and your growing family have been doing that, growing for a long time--3.5 years! You've come so far, and your feelings of being ready to move forward are justified. Even at times impatience with others is okay. (No really, it is) Things happen. It sounds like you recognized it, and it's not your norm. 

I'll say it again, you guys have come so far..and every day you move towards your goal--of getting to J, but also in the meantime having fun, and growing--living. 

I promise. You will get there soon--:::hugs:::