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TTC after 35
mkwt
member
I want to throat punch some people!!!
mkwt
member
in TTC after 35
Please pardon me for having a pissy attitude, but i promise the next person that says any one of the following to me, I am actually going to throat punch them and I am not messing around. My emotions are thru the roof and I am having to deal with a natural miscarriage and to be honest I do not care what people think about my "situtation"
What not to say to someone that is miscarrying for the second time:
1. It is Gods Will
2. It is natures way of taking care of a bigger problem that you probably could not deal with.
3. Third times a charm, right?
4. Well so and so had 6 miscarriages before she had a perfectly healthly baby. (really someone wants to go thru this 6 times)
5. It is just fluke, a roll of the dice (I got these from my doctors office)
6. Have you thought about adoption?
7. Well atleast you were not that far along (really that is suppose to make it any easier)
8. Atleast you know you can get pregnant (yeah but it keeps having chormose issues)
These are just the ones off the top of my head! Again, I am truly sorry to vent to you guys but I am about to EXPLODE!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I want to throat punch some people!!!
Big hugs!!
People just need to say "sorry",listen to you and not try to fix it with these stupid remarks. They just don't get it that it makes it worse.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
I am so sorry you are going through this. I seriously hope none of those comments were from your DH, parents or in-laws because that is the WORST! Unfortunately I know exactly how you feel, (and yes, even my DH said some of these to me the first and second time; he knows better now). Take Care and if you ever want to talk. I'm here and I get it!
Do something nice for yourself if you can today,
Sarah
My Blog
I'm so sorry, honey! I totally understand about your emotional roller coaster. Been there.
People who haven't been through it truly don't understand the heartache you're experiencing, and nothing they say will be right.
Vent away! This is the place for it.
I hope it goes quickly and you feel better soon. And I really hope you don't have to deal out any throat punches in your hormonally charged state of mind! But if you do, call me, I got your back! : )
Arever,
I just posted yesterday about similar feelings when I have shared with a few we are TTC. The other posters are right in that people just don't know what to say so they open their mouth when instead the need to think first. I am truly sorry for your loss! It sucks plan and simple. My prayers go out to you.
DH 45 ME 44
TTC #3 since 7/11 using OPK's and trying to figure out Fertility Friend! LOL
DS #1 born on 7/20/87 DS#2 born on 1/19/96
PAIF/SAIF welcome
You know, I was just re-reading my blog (haven't updated in a while) where I posted EVERYTHING you just said. I listed things you should and shouldn't say or do to someone who has had miscarriage/loss or is currently trying and being unsuccessful.
I just hate having to live through this. I'm so sorry you are too....well, all of us. Lots of love and hugs to everyone here!!!
GEAUX TIGERS!!!
1st pregnancy: BFP- 6/28/09 - Found out we lost our little girl on 10/9/09 at 19w 4d - D&E- 10/14/09
June 2010, corrective surgery for Septate Uterus and large fibroids
2nd pregnancy: BFP- 10/18/10 - Slow rising, non-doubling HCGs, no heart beat. Non-viable pregnancy, D&C- 11/12/10
Started Metformin 6/30/11, Started Clomid 7/20/11 - Unsuccessful
HSG and Laparoscopic surgery revealed blocked tubes and lots of scar tissue...IVF here we come!!!
Surprise BFP naturally!!! IT'S A BOY!!!
I am just so sorry people haven't been more considerate. It's okay not to like these people for a while.
Take care of yourself.
me (36): Hypothyroid (on Levothroid), low vit. d, borderline/high fsh (day 3: between 7-10) (day 10: 13 during CCCT), AFC: 14
dh (31): awesome (minus one sample with agglutination)
Diagnosis:possible DOR and/or unexplained + elevated NK cells + MTHFR (C677T - one copy)
MAY 2011 - FEB 2012 - 3 injectable IUI's with numerous cancellations due to high TSH levels
MAY 2012 - onto IVF/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol) on BCP and Folgard (3 week delay - cyst - boooo) 5/21 start stims 5/30 ER 11R 8M 3F 6/2 3DT of 3 6/12 Beta #1 83 | 6/14 Beta #2 196 | 6/21 Beta #3 3818 | 6/28 Beta #4 22,213 | 7/2 1st U/S - 2 on board! 8/24 CVS reveals that we have a boy AND a girl on board!
Healthy baby boy and girl born in February, 2013 at 38 weeks and 2 days!