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Single Parents
Back from Court
Well it was interesting to say the least. I wasn't 100% sure what to expect, so I went in hoping for the best. I did end up seeing C, but he was sitting in an area around the corner from me so we didn't have to be in the same room, really. I was lucky enough to run into Wife while I was entering the restroom and she was exiting, though. No words exchanged, but still nice and awkward.
I didn't have to see or talk to the judge, our attorneys took care of everything without us being present in the courtroom. We did get a number set up, which was higher than their proposal since the calculation was made using his whole income and the correct child care/insurance costs. I saw Wife storming towards the elevators near where I was sitting. Shortly after my lawyer told me there was something of a ruckus when C's attorney told them the final numbers. There was no disputing the amount and Wife really let C have it before storming out. It makes me wonder at the competency of their attorney that she did not prepare them better for CS amount. The number given to them today should not have been such a shock.
I'm pretty pleased with the outcome. I got a small amount towards my attorneys fees and back support awarded. My lawyer advised I opt for wage garnishment for our current CS and C indicated he may just pay the arrears in a lump sum if he is able to.
Sigh of relief, it's almost over.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Back from Court
^ LOL
Glad that you got the amount you should be getting and C isn't getting away with short changing on the daycare of insurance costs. You would think that if he's financially able to make a lump sump payment on the back cs amount that whatever he was ordered to pay wouldn't be such a big deal, since it is his child. Men seem to forget that CS isn't for the mother or to make the mother's life easier or better, it's to make sure the children don't go without and have everything they need.
Congrats to you, and a big GFTOI to BD.
I don't feel that bad for the wife. She knows what a douche she's married to, and is still with him.
I feel bad for her in the sense that the life and family she thought she had will never be the same because of her douchey husband and LJF.
I do not feel bad that she's stupid enough to stay with the loser.
I'm a lurker and I cannot ever presume to know what a single mother goes through. I know many single mothers, including my niece who is one.
I think it's really shitty to judge a woman, that was not only wronged by her husband but also wronged by a complete stranger who could have rejected said douche's advances.
I actually agree with PIP here. I did and do still feel awful that she was innocent in losing her dream of the family she thought she had with her husband. He and I destroyed that and I take the blame and have guilt for my role in that decision.
But I told her the truth about him 9 months ago and she made the choice to stay in the situation. And she also has been instrumental in not allowing any contact or support between C and Barrett. Not that it's not C's fault, he chooses to follow her instructions, but he's told me that all decisions like that, etc. are determined by her. Those decisions are not to Barrett's benefit and I think punishing a child for the sins of his mother makes her no better than I in this situation.
Again I wasn't judging you. I was referring to Darth's comment.
I think it's easy to criticize a woman for staying.
But I told her the truth about him 9 months ago and she made the choice to stay in the situation. And she also has been instrumental in not allowing any contact or support between C and Barrett. Not that it's not C's fault, he chooses to follow her instructions, but he's told me that all decisions like that, etc. are determined by her. T
Please tell me you don't believe him. It sounds like he's the one making you both out to be the bad guys to one another.
Priss28King is wise.--"Lurky, you are so mean... but always so on point!"
Priss28King is wise.--"Lurky, you are so mean... but always so on point!"
I don't necessarily believe or not believe him. I know from the limited interaction I've had with her that this is likely the case, but either way the situation is what it is and I'm just glad we're getting the financial aspects settled.
I don't expect her to open her arms to me by any means. And it's crappy to emotionally abandon a child, but even worse is to try to avoid financial responsibility for one. It may not be her child, but she decided to remain in the situation and B is not the one who should be punished for the actions of his parents.
Why didn't you think of the future children when you were boning a married man? I am really astonished by your stupidity and sense of entitlement. You knew he was married, why did you hop on the ***? Why would you expect him to treat you any different than currently is? He had no respect for his wife. You had no respect for yourself or the wife. You were a fun blow job and snatch. He would have no reason to respect you or take care of you or any child from his fun times.
What was the amount. Just wondering since you bragged about it before figure you will again.
Oh FFS the LJF bashing is so old, people. She effed up, she knows it, she's admitted it over and over, and now she's just trying to get what her kid is FINANCIALLY owed, by law.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the ones who get worked up to an extreme over LJF's situation are those who are insecure with their husband's own fidelity or possible lack thereof.
As a former single mom who is lurking....... wow you guys are harsh!
Clearly she knows what she did is wrong. As single parents on this board.... why are you single??? Could it be that you made a bad decision in the person that you had your child with then decided to leave? Isn't that just what she did? Would you like your dirty laundry constantly rubbed in your face every time that spoke? Infidelity happens probably every hour or more in this world. Usually the women are aware that the man is married. It is the man's job to say no. If it wasn't her it would have been some one else. Truthfully there could be other "some one else's" with this guy. If the guy I had a child with was a Dr., football star, millionaire, rock singer, etc, I would be excited about the amount of money I was getting too. Why? Well if he continues to pay, there is so much you can do with that money. Put it away for college or buying a first car. I knew a woman who took 50% of her child support and put it in a savings for her LO. She then gave it to LO as a down payment for her first home. She was married to a successful chiropractor. She made her own money and lived within her means so she was able to save that extra money. I'm sure that OP will use the money wisely, not that it's any of our business. She loves her LO just as much as you do. She is just as alone as you are. She's made bad decisions just as you did, or you wouldn't be on this board. I think as mothers we should all live by the rules we want our children to follow. If you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all, and treat others the way you would want to be treated. As a mom of 4 I say these a lot and try to live by them. How can you teach your children compassion if you have none of your own? Just some thoughts for those of you who have done no wrong in your lives.
OP: I commend you for continuing to post here when all these women do is bash you. I would have left by now.
It's not the SP members of this board who are bashing. The ones at the beginning of the thread who make nice comments or ask questions are SPers. The BSC women who are throwing stones come over here from another board (BOTB) to throw in their two cents every time I post. They created a whole new thread over here this time where they bash on me and there is not a single SP who posted on it. I post to get feedback and share with other SPs, who generally are supportive, not the crazies who run over here to point and laugh amongst themselves at my personal situation.
You will never know how much pain you helped cause to "the wife." I just sure hope someday when some poor schmuck decides to marry you, that you never know that pain...oh wait, I do hope you feel that pain. Karma's a biitch.
Oh, and to the PP who stated that people who don't like LJF are insecure with their own husbands is laughable. I've seen what homewrecking has done to my husband and his siblings. Its sad, disgusting and I loathe anyone who justifies it.
Um to the poster with 70 million tickers, if you were around about a month or so ago, you would have seen a poll where like 80% of people thought LJF needs to get over herself.
It's her constant AWing of her situation and ridiculous sense of entitlement that irks people. No one thinks her douchebag baby daddy is awesome. Everyone thinks she made her own bed, and now she has to deal with the consequences of that. If you have been on TB for very long, you would realize no one ever forgets the douches. LJF is a major douche and her homewrecking will never be forgotten.
Priss28King is wise.--"Lurky, you are so mean... but always so on point!"
I am not a SP and that irritated the sh!t out of me.
FTR it isn't LJFs home wrecking I have an issue with. It is her sense of entitlement and her attitude. She has her head firmly up her own ass. She has the snobby attitude that she is better than everyone. Her lack of respect for the wife of baby daddy and the lack of respect for herself is also an issue with me.
To the poster saying I am insecure with my marriage. I am fairly certain I have no doubts with my husband. We are pretty damn open with each other. We both come from broken homes caused from drug use and infidelity. The last thing I worry about is him sticking his penis in another person. I am more concerned with his lack of cleanliness and leaving half full bottles of soda and water sitting around and farting constantly.
Your marriage concerns sound a lot like mine. I mean, FFS, is it really that hard to bring your laundry to the laundry room?
Priss28King is wise.--"Lurky, you are so mean... but always so on point!"
Allie is cleaner than DH. She takes her laundry to the hall closet and tosses it in the hamper and picks up his dirty socks. My kid is 4 my Dh is 30.