Proper party etiquette?

winomom22

I invited our neighbor's boys to DD1's bday party. They are both on the Autism spectrum and are on an organic gluten/dairy free diet because of it. I was planning on just serving regular cake and ice cream. I offered to serve something gluten/dairy free for the boys, but their mom said she would bring something for them to eat. I feel bad that she has to bring something for them and I feel I should serve an alternative for the boys. Should I be more insistent on providing an organic gluten/dairy free alternative? To be honest I know very little about this kind of diet and wouldn't know where to even find something. If I ordered an entire cake that was gluten/dairy free it would be very expensive and I can't imagine it would taste very good...Thoughts???

veloelle

It's probably easier for her to bring a treat because she knows exactly how to fix it. In DH's family, there are some vegetarians and they'd always bring a dish to family gatherings.

If she's insisting, I'd let it go and not make her feel uncomfortable about it, i.e. maybe she doesn't trust others to prepare food, and she doesn't want to have to refuse your food, kwim?

j-w

I'd just let it go and let her bring something.  Pursuing it any further is just awkward, IMO. 

karen6784

I would let her go.  It was nice of you to offer to make something special.  It is probably easier for her to bring her own food and know it is safe for her child to eat. 

joy143dh

It's nice that you offered, but let it go.  She and her kids are probably more comfortable with bringing their own stuff.

joseysbride

I would let it be.  She knows that not many people are familiar with gluten or even dairy free foods, and even the smallest bit can make them very sick.  It is hard going places where there is food, especially when you don't know the people very well, because you don't want to offend the host by not eating the food, but you just never know what's in it.  That, and it feels akward to sit and watch everyone else eat or to bust out your own food.

Temp970088312507122

DD1 has a severe peanut allergy and cannot have store/bakery bought cakes. I always bring her own treats when we go to a party or get together. I've had people offer to get a safe alternative but it's just easier for me to do it myself. I have to read all the ingredient labels and I just feel safer when I'm in control. I honestly don't mind doing it at all and I'm sure the other mother is used to it.