Upset over something petty

ShanJosh777

My situation is kind of weird I guess, because I am still really close with STBX's family, especially my SIL (married to STBX's brother) and also my MIL. STBX pretty much drops off of the face of the earth and has minimal contact with his family for weeks/months at a time, so I still spend time with them and he is not around.

So next weekend I had planned to go to a water park with a bunch of his family and some of my SIL's other friends and their kids. Well MIL texted me tonight to say that now STBX is going.

I'm so annoyed because of course I don't want to go now, but I'm not completely comfortable letting DS go without me, and it will be his first time going here. Part of me wants to say that and not let DS go, but that will only hurt him, plus since it's my decision not to go I don't feel like I can. And I know his family is capable of caring for him there, and if it was my family I wouldn't even think twice about letting him.

I'm just really irritated that STBX just gets to show up and be there for all the fun stuff whenever he feels like it. The last time he was really around was DS's birthday which was mid-June.

WWYD? I know the right answer is probably to go anyway and be civil. But it sucks being the bigger person sometimes. 

CPA04

I don't think that's petty at all.  I would feel exactly the same way if I was in that situation.  The fact that it's a waterpark would be the issue for me - if it was a park or Chuck-E-Cheese or something, I wouldn't be so worried about DS going without me.  The fact that he's never been to this place before would make my blood pressure rise even further.

Will STBXH's family act differently towards you because he's there?  I wouldn't want to be around them if they did.  Any chance STBXH will flake and not show up that day?

Maybe DS should just suddenly come down with a virus the day before and you won't be able to go....

LJF1218

Too bad he only shows up for the fun stuff, which of course ruins your good time.  But you're right that DS would probably really have a good time and I'm sure your in-laws would be disappointed to not see him, too.  I would go ahead and go, especially since it's a waterpark.  I'd be too nervous not being there in a place like that.

In the end you'll be the bigger person I know, but it does suck you have to be.  Hopefully STBX will flake out.