Poll of sorts bc I'm bored!

Mrs.McIrish

I was stalking other boards and came across the ever popular debate on baby showers for baby#2 or higher. People get all worked up about it and it was amusing me. Considering lots of us here have been to a zillion showers over the years (and not as the recipient), what's your position on multiple showers? And for the ladies that have a child(ren), what's your position??

AND GO...!

happywifemomofone

I guess that I'm old fashioned and I think "ONE" shower per lady.  My son is 18yo and I would not be too pleased if anyone on my side of the family threw me a shower (if I ever get there).  However, DH has no children of his own.  If my MIL or SIL wanted to have a shower for me with his side of family-and only my mom and sisters from my side of the family, that would be ok-and even welcome fun.  Think that by second child couple should be financially prepared to buy what they want and need.  Don't think I'd ever want to register for a second shower.

winidpu

I say one shower per lady. In the case where the child is almost grown and out of the house I would make an exception for that. Especially since your husband has no other children. It's been 18 years so I say if you were to get pregnant then have a shower!

Country Girl in the City

I am old fashioned and say just one.  I still buy gifts for the birth of every child but kind of look down on the second shower.  Now for weddings, I don't think that a full blown wedding is in order nor should you have to give a gift if you are a serial marryer (i.e. third wedding or second in two years).

happywifemomofone

McIrish....you didn't give us your opinion on your own poll.  Guess that I'm bored tonight too.

Mrs.McIrish

happywifemomofone:

McIrish....you didn't give us your opinion on your own poll.  Guess that I'm bored tonight too.

LOL, caught me!  In general, I also follow the "one shower per lady" rule.  But there are always exceptions.  In your case, I think a shower would be absolutely fine since your son is 18! I have personally thrown 2 showers for friends that had a second baby with a big age difference. I did not know them when they had the first though and I would say the attendees didn't know the baby-mama when they had the first.  I usually buy a gift for a 2nd child anyway when I see the baby or mama for the first time post-baby (I usually stop at the 3rd if I wasn't particularly close to the mama).   I would be annoyed with work people having multiple babies and the cookie jar coming around again and again but so far, people have been decent about that.

boymamaco

The only time I think its appropriate is if its a different sex. But really it should just be your closest friends in that case.

jennasita

My position is that I don't really care. I think it depends a lot on the person's situation in life. I have had a shower for each of my children because someone offered to throw one. The first for obvious reasons, the second because much of my son's things that would have been passed down were ruined in a move and because she was a girl, the third because it had been 8 years and we no longer had any baby stuff in the house. If I conceive again, though, I don't know that I'd want a shower. Simply because I don't think we need it. I've been treasuring Grayson's belongings and not letting much go. If someone offered to throw a sprinkle, though, I'd probably accept because that little bit would help us out (even if it were just diapers). Besides that, it's like everyone's coming together and welcoming a new little one into the world. Celebrating life with cake and punch. I suppose this could be handled with a "welcome baby" party, but this is not something my family has ever done, so........ I don't know. Might be fun...

jennasita

I wanted to add that I think it's really horrible the way some on the Baby Shower board judges others on this issue. Everyone's different and everyone isn't brought up the same way. If someone wants a shower/sprinkle for LO #2+, then that's their business. I don't think there's too much worry about people not showing up. Who wouldn't want to come for the cake at least?! If they don't come because they think it's tacky, then they weren't meant to be there anyway. To me, showers aren't about the gifts. They're about celebrating the life and birth of a new little person.

Mrs.McIrish

I never heard of a "sprinkle" before. That gave me a chuckle. 

ETA: Both friends that I hosted showers for: neither asked for it. I just did it because I wanted to.

ELF4321

I say one shower and that's it.  But I also protest when people have both engagement parties and then later, bachelor/bachelorette parties.   Pretty much, I hate having to buy people gifts.  LOL

jennasita

Mrs.McIrish:

I never heard of a "sprinkle" before. That gave me a chuckle. 

It's like a small shower. Just a few guests, and only small necessities like diapers, wipes, shampoo, etc.

GHBEA

We have older children 15, 17 and 20.   We had a shower for our recent baby because my SIL set it up.  I don't need a second one.  Besides babies being the opposite sex what more could you need in terms of new born stuff?

stever

I don't agree with multiple showers. I already have the essentials and don't need to be "showered" with gifts.

Mrs.McIrish

jennasita:

I wanted to add that I think it's really horrible the way some on the Baby Shower board judges others on this issue. Everyone's different and everyone isn't brought up the same way. If someone wants a shower/sprinkle for LO #2+, then that's their business. I don't think there's too much worry about people not showing up. Who wouldn't want to come for the cake at least?! If they don't come because they think it's tacky, then they weren't meant to be there anyway. To me, showers aren't about the gifts. They're about celebrating the life and birth of a new little person.

Just a comment on this: I could not go to a baby shower right now if I was invited to one. It's too hard for me.  A friend of mine just had twins (on IUI#1 with clomid) and I gave her a Gymboree gift card. I told her it was too hard for me to even go into a baby store. Of course she understood. I didn't want to not acknowledge the babies and that was the best I could do under the circumstances.  Also, cake isn't going to do it for me. I need wine!  A shower is not so much fun when you don't have a baby but want to go support their friend. I guess I went off on a tangent there, huh?

UOduckBride2be

ok, so this is not to Be judge-y at all. I think that having multiple showers is a regional thing. No one where I live would ever dream of having one for children after #1, though I think if there has been 10 years or so in between I think it's totally fine. For child #2+ I think that a meet the baby family BBQ after the birth and after mom has recovered seems more appropriate to me. Hell, when I get pregnant and am as big as a house I am going to clean up, I can't wait! I feel that the amount of gifts should be proportionate to the amount of time TTC and make up for the amount of $ spent on IF treatments....FLAME AWAY!!! LOL!

UOduckBride2be

oh and excuse my lame grammar! I am drinking wine and bumping until DH comes home!

Mrs.McIrish

UOduckBride2be:

ok, so this is not to Be judge-y at all. I think that having multiple showers is a regional thing. No one where I live would ever dream of having one for children after #1, though I think if there has been 10 years or so in between I think it's totally fine. For child #2+ I think that a meet the baby family BBQ after the birth and after mom has recovered seems more appropriate to me. Hell, when I get pregnant and am as big as a house I am going to clean up, I can't wait! I feel that the amount of gifts should be proportionate to the amount of time TTC and make up for the amount of $ spent on IF treatments....FLAME AWAY!!! LOL!

CHA-CHING!  LOL

jennasita

Mrs.McIrish:

jennasita:

I wanted to add that I think it's really horrible the way some on the Baby Shower board judges others on this issue. Everyone's different and everyone isn't brought up the same way. If someone wants a shower/sprinkle for LO #2+, then that's their business. I don't think there's too much worry about people not showing up. Who wouldn't want to come for the cake at least?! If they don't come because they think it's tacky, then they weren't meant to be there anyway. To me, showers aren't about the gifts. They're about celebrating the life and birth of a new little person.

Just a comment on this: I could not go to a baby shower right now if I was invited to one. It's too hard for me.  A friend of mine just had twins (on IUI#1 with clomid) and I gave her a Gymboree gift card. I told her it was too hard for me to even go into a baby store. Of course she understood. I didn't want to not acknowledge the babies and that was the best I could do under the circumstances.  Also, cake isn't going to do it for me. I need wine!  A shower is not so much fun when you don't have a baby but want to go support their friend. I guess I went off on a tangent there, huh?

Totally understandable! You have a different situation.

HappyMrsK

Eh, I think if someone offers to throw a shower for the mom to be it's fine no matter how many children she has. I do think that if it is a 2nd, 3rd, etc. child, that the mom to be should have sense enough to not register for a ton of big item stuff though or make requests for certain types of gifts. Especially, if her other children are younger. I like the "sprinkle" idea someone else mentioned.

I never knew that having baby showers for 2nd, 3rd, etc. kid was so "wrong" until I started reading the baby shower board on here. I never really thought about it much though honestly. I've gotten invited to baby showers for a second baby and never thought anything of it. I didn't think the mom to be was being "gift grabby" or anything. Maybe it is a regional thing.

jennasita

HappyMrsK:

Eh, I think if someone offers to throw a shower for the mom to be it's fine no matter how many children she has. I do think that if it is a 2nd, 3rd, etc. child, that the mom to be should have sense enough to not register for a ton of big item stuff though or make requests for certain types of gifts. Especially, if her other children are younger. I like the "sprinkle" idea someone else mentioned.

I never knew that having baby showers for 2nd, 3rd, etc. kid was so "wrong" until I started reading the baby shower board on here. I never really thought about it much though honestly. I've gotten invited to baby showers for a second baby and never thought anything of it. I didn't think the mom to be was being "gift grabby" or anything. Maybe it is a regional thing.

I agree! Maybe it IS a regional thing. I hadn't thought of that.

 

MelleTX

I am also in the camp of showers for first baby only. However, there are exceptions - large age gap, twins after a singleton, etc...

But, they should be limited to family and very close friends only and probably leave the registry off the invites.

I do, however support registering for each pregnancy. If nothing else, it makes a good checklist of things you need to buy and there's always the completion coupon. I just would never publicize it. If people want to get you something, they know how to find out of you are registered or not.

Llamamama

I think every baby deserves to be celebrated in one way or another.. But I think most only have the 1st shower or maybe 2 if your 2nd baby was a different sex than the 1st.  I myself hate being the center of attention but I LOVE going to baby showers.  I say have as many as you want!