Ohhh advice needed

JCGreene85

Lets move on... Put your feet up and grab a glass or 2 of wine.. 

So I met a guy (M) when I was 17. It was love at first sight. We dated in high school, I turned down a scholarship to Alabama to go in-state (parents were not happy) to be near him. He begged me to stay so I did. I went in-state for 1.5 years and ended up leaving mid-semester to move in with him back home. ( I was only 2 hours away..) I enrolled in Culinary School to finish my education, and he ran his nutrition business that he started with his dad at 21.  A few years down the road he proposed and I said yes. We had the elaborate engagement party, had an amazing relationship. He was teased in HS for being skinny so he started lifting weights. It turned from a hobby to a career. He won the Mr. Georgia competition in 2010. I fell in love with who he was, not who he came to be.. 

We drifted apart after being engaged. He wanted to lift weights, and spend all his spare time in the gym. I wanted to plan a wedding and our future.. He met a women in gym (she was married.. seriously..what is wrong with people...) and had an emotional affair with her. They both say nothing "happened" and I believed them, and I let it go.. It resurfaced a few months later and I left him. I packed up SIX years of memories and our black lab and moved back in with my mom.

He begged me to come back and that it would never happen again.. I didnt cave. I started to date, and I met J. He was wonderful. He made me feel wanted and safe, and treated me like a princess. A few months later I found out I was pregnant (i was on BC) and he turned into a needy and controlling man I couldnt force myself to be with..but I knew I wanted this baby. 

M fell apart when he found out. He was at my doorstep crying, regretting every decision that got us where we were. I still had feelings for him, but couldn't bare to be with him.

Then I had Wyatt.  My beautiful, amazing, crazy son. Who I love more than anything.. M visisted us in the hospital, he visited us on our first few days home, and even took me shopping for a BDay gift for my mom.. As much as we knew we couldnt be together, we are always shifted back to each other.

He dated. I tried to date. but we always come back to eachother. He is AMAZING with W and it melts my heart.

Am I a fool for wanting to give us another chance? It is almost 3 years later. We've grown up. We both want the same thing now. How do I know he wont have another emotional affair? I dont want Wy to get attached to someone who wont be there the next day. But he's always been there for me.. Wy calls him "Ma". He knows who he is. He smiles when he sees him, and holds his arms out for him to pick him up.  M is a different and better man around Wy. 

What do I do?! 

If you made it through this I now give you a trophy.  

haleyw458

If you don't give him another chance then he's always going to be your "what if" guy.

There is always a chance that somebody is going to have some type of affair. Even though he has done it before, you can't let that hold you back. If you really think he's changed and you trust him, I say give it another chance. You will always beat yourself up over it if you don't.

Unknown

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achase123

I am always of the mindset that if you don't try you will wonder.  I would give it another shot but proceed WITH CAUTION and your eyes wide open.  GL!

CPA04

I dunno... you may always wonder what if, but at the same time, I feel like once a cheater, always a cheater. (yes, I may still be a bitter betty on that topic).

If you do decide to try again, make a list of non negotiables and dealbreakers.  Share the list with your BFF or mom or whomever, and make sure they will force you to stick to it if things go down the wrong path.  Be cautious with the extent of involvement with Wy early on - it will be harder on him than you if it doesn't work out.