When to stop bathing together?

AnnapolisLari

DS is 4.5 and DD is 2.5. DH is having a 'chicken with his head cut off' moment and says that they're too old to be bathing together. I think DD said something about DS having a penis and he's all crazed about it.

 

Kapalua

When I heard "Mom, Ellie thinks my penis is a bath toy!"  I started seperating them.  Actually, that's when I just started having Nathan take showers instead. 

AnnapolisLari

WTF. Aren't you supposed to be having a baby?

 

eclaires

Jackson will be five in ~2m and they still bathe together.

And if I'm being perfectly honest, Jackson still regularly sees me naked.  He doesn't seem to care - I really don't care - so yeah.  I don't anticipate it changing anytime soon.  I don't shower with him or anything (when he was younger and we needed to be quick, he'd hop in with me), but he frequently moseys into the bathroom when I'm showering to talk to me.

I guess I feel like this is one of those things where you need to follow their lead.  If they are still comfortable with it, I think it's fine.  I don't think noticing that boys and girls are different = not comfortable though, or weird, or that it needs to stop.

With all of that said, I could be an outlier here in nestland, I have no idea.  I decided awhile ago when I first questioned how old that we would let Jackson set the terms of that.

Kapalua

AnnapolisLari:

WTF. Aren't you supposed to be having a baby?

 

yes.  yes I am.    I'm 3cm but no labor yet. 

summerbrideDC

eclaires:

Jackson will be five in ~2m and they still bathe together.

And if I'm being perfectly honest, Jackson still regularly sees me naked.  He doesn't seem to care - I really don't care - so yeah.  I don't anticipate it changing anytime soon.  I don't shower with him or anything (when he was younger and we needed to be quick, he'd hop in with me), but he frequently moseys into the bathroom when I'm showering to talk to me.

I guess I feel like this is one of those things where you need to follow their lead.  If they are still comfortable with it, I think it's fine.  I don't think noticing that boys and girls are different = not comfortable though, or weird, or that it needs to stop.

With all of that said, I could be an outlier here in nestland, I have no idea.  I decided awhile ago when I first questioned how old that we would let Jackson set the terms of that.

This.  I am not the slightest bit concerned when/if Ethan takes a bath with his girl friends.  They're kids; IMO, adults sexualize things WAY too early for kids. I get not wanting your kid to use the other one's penis as a bath toy, but even that seems innocent enough & I'd be fine just saying, "hey those parts are private for him, they're not for you to touch." and that would be the end of that, unless it persisted, or DS said he was uncomfortable with the situation.  I'm totally fine w/ my kid knowing his female friends look different from him & being comfortable with nudity. Obviously there will come a time when he naturally wants more privacy (as will his friends), but I don't see a need to force that on him puritanically.  

grja

Mine are 2 and 4, still bathe together. DS is well aware he has a penis (and has a nickame for it) and understands that girls don't have it. It doesn't seem to phase either one of them. And ds still sees me naked on occasion and doesn't seem to notice one way or another. In fact, when I'm wearing a bra he'll say "mom, you're bewbies are on". Or sometimes when he's laying on me at night he'll say "mom, why did you take your bewbies off". Its all innocent imo.

lsufan

I have all boys, but they take baths with their girl cousins (ages 3 and almost 2) when we're together.  I'm pretty sure the issue of penis vs. no penis has come up, but it's no big deal.  

 

MayorMcCheese000

5 year old DS and (almost) 2 year old DD bathe together every day. They have so much fun playing in there together I really don't see myself separating them anytime soon, unless DS requests it. He is WELL aware that boys and girls are different and that Jane doesn't have a penis, he tells me all the time LOL! Like eclaires, I still will change in front of him or whatever too, nudity isn't a big deal to me and recognizing that our bodies are different is nothing more than that really.

passar3588

I throw all three of my kids in my big tub sometimes if I want to give them all a quick bath at the same time. I have two girls - 5 and 3 and then a boy who is almost 2. I never thought anything of it. Although, lately my 5 y.o. takes showers because she wants her privacy. So, I guess I'm kind of following her lead. Would your DS start taking showers? I love it now that my oldest does - she pretty much does everything herself and it's much less time consuming for me.

ppants

My b/g twins quit bathing together at 5 yrs old.  They stil see each other and me naked though.  There wasn't enough room for both of them in the tub without being all in each other's business.

Mrs.Tony

Mine - 5.5 and 2.5 still bath together. Occasionally we'll get comments like that from my oldest but truthfully I brush it off right now.  Oh, and I have showered with my little guy. I don't see it as a big deal at this point in time.

josie402

I've wondered about it too.  Mine are 4.5 and 2.5 and still bathe together most days.  They still have fun playing in the bath together.  They went through a brief phase of realizing they have different body parts and now don't say anything.  I'm guessing we'll keep it up for awhile unless one of them asks to do it alone.

Mominator

Mine are 4.5 and almost 3.5 y/o and still bath together. This is one of those things that I am just going to follow their lead. Actually, I guess technically speaking they shower together, since DD has declared that she is now too old for baths LOL

CleoKitty

eclaires:

And if I'm being perfectly honest, Jackson still regularly sees me naked.  He doesn't seem to care - I really don't care - so yeah.  I don't anticipate it changing anytime soon.  I don't shower with him or anything (when he was younger and we needed to be quick, he'd hop in with me), but he frequently moseys into the bathroom when I'm showering to talk to me.

I guess I feel like this is one of those things where you need to follow their lead.  If they are still comfortable with it, I think it's fine.  I don't think noticing that boys and girls are different = not comfortable though, or weird, or that it needs to stop.

We're the exact same way. I haven't allowed ds to hop into the shower with me for quite some time now, finally got to the point where I was no longer comfortable with it. But he still sees me naked, still comes in to talk to me when I'm in the shower, etc. 

As for the kids, at 6.5 and 3.5 they still bathe together at least half of the time, if not more. They've just very recently started taking separate baths more frequently though and I suspect that their days of bathing together are going to be numbered. They seem to have hit some point where they're naturally starting to want to be in the tub alone (mostly because they like to stretch ou to "swim" and that's hard to do with another person, lol.)

Jodi&Joe

Joey is 6.5, Cam is 5 and I'm 35.  We all showered together this morning! 

Now I will say, in the last 6 months, we have reduced the frequency of them showering together greatly.  However there are times when we are just pressed for time and it just makes more sense (like this morning).  If they were uncomfortable at all, I would put a stop to it but as it is, they usually end up throwing water around and making a huge mess together -- certainly not concerned with each others private parts (I guess is my point). 

I did notice Joey staring at my boobs this morning when I got out of the shower - and it made ME feel a bit awkward but I know he's doing it from a "Hey, why does she have those and I don't" kind of thing versus a "I want mommy's boobs!" kind of way!  At least I hope!  LOL 

They still see me naked, often.  Hell, isn't that every mom's gripe - no alone bathroom/dressing time! 

ETA: I wanted to add that we have a two person shower (it's huge and has two shower heads) so when I mention that all three of us are in there, it's different than a regular sized shower where the damn curtain would be stuck to us due to lack of room!  LOL

Zenya

mine are 2.5 and 5 and no longer bathe together.  actually Christopher just started taking a shower by himself.  He started to feel too big for me to be bathing him at all.

peekaboo716

eclaires:

Jackson will be five in ~2m and they still bathe together.

And if I'm being perfectly honest, Jackson still regularly sees me naked.  He doesn't seem to care - I really don't care - so yeah.  I don't anticipate it changing anytime soon.  I don't shower with him or anything (when he was younger and we needed to be quick, he'd hop in with me), but he frequently moseys into the bathroom when I'm showering to talk to me.

I guess I feel like this is one of those things where you need to follow their lead.  If they are still comfortable with it, I think it's fine.  I don't think noticing that boys and girls are different = not comfortable though, or weird, or that it needs to stop.

With all of that said, I could be an outlier here in nestland, I have no idea.  I decided awhile ago when I first questioned how old that we would let Jackson set the terms of that.

Same here. DS is 5, DD is 3, and will bathe together, although DS sometimes wants to go by himself because then he doesn't have to share the bath toys. They regularly see us too, and I just don't see it as a big deal.

AngelaU1971

Mine are 6, 4 and 19 months and I still usually bathe them together. 

august06mom

I read advice on this once that said parents should decide when it's no longer appropriate because if you wait until your child asks you, then you're putting the burden on your child to feel uncomfortable about it. As in, decide before your child has to feel uncomfortable. I'm sure some would disagree, but it makes sense to me.

Jodi&Joe

august06mom:

I read advice on this once that said parents should decide when it's no longer appropriate because if you wait until your child asks you, then you're putting the burden on your child to feel uncomfortable about it. As in, decide before your child has to feel uncomfortable. I'm sure some would disagree, but it makes sense to me.

Not sure I agree or disagree but that's very interesting.  On a similar note, I guess if they are uncomfortable with it, yet their parents are nonchalant about it (as I am, for example), it might be harder for them to say something about it (like they might think "Why do I feel weird about this?  Mommy/daddy doesn't!")  Hhmmmm....

I'm not overly concerned as the days in which we shower together are severely numbered - uncomfortable or not - my two rugrats are at ages where it's going to stop sooner than later.  But I do think this is an interesting perspective!