We didn't baptize her.. so that makes us bad parents?
When I grew up we went to church off and on. We'd go every Sunday for a few months and then not go for a few more months. It was weird. My brother and I were never baptized, and up until recently it was never questioned.
My father passed away about 10 yrs ago and my mom re-married about 4 yrs. My step-day is the type of man who goes to church every single Sunday without fail and prays at every meal. Which is great! Ever since they got married my mom follows suit. Which is great too!
But the other day my mom said to me.. "are you ever going to get Grace baptized?" And I have honestly thought about it but DH and I do not attend church regularly (hardly at all actually) and it honestly wasn't at the top of our list. I said to her.. "uh, no. Is that bad. You never had us baptized." And she snapped at me.. "Yes that's bad. And I was a bad parent, you don't want to be a parent too."
REALLY? What she said ticked me off... and then hurt my feelings.
Re: We didn't baptize her.. so that makes us bad parents?
I met a mom at daycare a few months ago whose MIL told her if she didn't get her grandchildren batised they were all going to go to hell. So instead of arguing about it and being nagged she decided just to get the kids baptised.
We never went to church and just recently registered so we could get Jay baptised. But it's a personal dicision. Don't let your mom force your hand. You are not a bad perant if you don't baptise yoru children.
What is IMO?
Second, I think that depends on your religion. Some people don't believe to baptise if the child isn't old enough to make the dicision on their own. While we will be baptising Jay at 10 months and it should have been done sooner. It really depends on your religion.
IMO= In My Opinion.
In the faith I grew up in, infants are baptised. But I don't really follow any religion anymore and H is athiest.... even so, I wanted to have Lucian baptised. H was against it, saying that it's a choice Lucian can make for himself when he's older. We told my parents this (it was very important to them that we did this), and while they weren't ecstatic, they understood that this is our decision and that it's not unreasonable.
ITA, I was 15 when I got baptized and it was was more special that way. I kind of got the side eye from the ILs because they had DH baptized as a baby, and wanted Emma to be too, even though they don't go to church anymore. It needs to be a personal decision because I'm not going to force a certain religion on her.
I agree with this, but I'd like to add that I believe it is totally symbolic. I don't think it has a single thing to do with going to Heaven or Hell.
DH and I attend church on a weekly basis and it was important to us to do it with her as an infant. There are ways for her to express herself in her faith as she gets older, such as getting confirmed or remembering her baptism during communion.
However, this was a hot topic at our church a few years ago when a family at our church had a two year old who drowned and was not baptized. Our pastor had a really great way of explaining to us what he felt, that I could never duplicate, but the gist was that our God is a loving God who would never be vengeful against a child who was not baptized.
Honestly, if you and your DH are not active in a church than it seems hypocritical to do it just to do it. I would encourage you to explore your own faith/spiritual life so that you can help guide your children if that's what you're comfortable with.
Thank you!
I was 13 when I was baptised and I wish my mom had done it when I was younger. I grew up in a catholic chuch as well as most of the kids I went to school with. And I felt awkward being the only one baptised at that age. But it is a personal dicision every person has to make for their children. There is no right or wrong answer.
I also do not think that just because someone is baptised you are forcing a religion on them. I have a family member that was baptised brought up in one religion and now in adult hood is raising her children in another religion. People skill have choices and can choose later on that that religion is not right for them whether they were or were not baptised.
It doesn't make you a bad parent.
Everyone feels differently about religion and their beliefs surrounding the purpose of baptism. It's really a very personal decision and not one that your mother has any business inserting herself.
She doesn't understand the concept then.
Unbaptized babies don't go to hell. They remain in purgatory. If that woman's MIL was going to make her beliefs on baptism known, she should at least get the interpretation correct.
This. 100%.
Also, my family is Catholic, and we're not. So they have asked a few times if we're baptizing Oliver, "at least out of tradition", and I had to just tell them flat out, "No." Those are not our beliefs and if it's something he chooses when he grows up, then he can do that.
Unfortunately a lot of people blindly follow their family's traditions of "baptize baby so they don't go to hell" and "go to church on Sunday so I don't go to hell" without even thinking about beliefs or following their religion. Mindless.
ETA: I have no problem with people who are actually religious and live that life, but when people think sitting in a room one hour per week will save them from a red horned man.. that's just silly. ykwim?
IF you are Catholic. And believe in the concept of Purgatory in the first place.
Neither of us were baptized, LO hasn't been, we don't go to church, and I'm not sure how I plan to handle this moving forward. I have yet to find a religion that nails down how I feel spiritually, so it feels more authentic to not do anything organized.
My "church" is being in my husband's arms, looking into my daughter's eyes & holding her while she sleeps, playing with & caring for my pets, listening to music that moves me, being outside and marveling at nature, and laughing (or crying for that matter) with my friends & family. Basically, I don't think you should have to go TO a church to be a spiritual person or have a moment where you feel connected to God, though certainly it can augment your life if you find a church whose teachings speak to you.
Definitely. Hence the "IMO".
I was baptized as a baby, but when I grew up I came to realize that I just got sprinkled with water. I didn't follow the command of Jesus to 'Go, be baptized' because I was an infant who was unable to understand anything. When I became an adult, I made the decision for myself to be baptized, and I did it when I was 7 mo pg with my first baby. (I joked with the chaplain he got 2 birds with one stone according to my old faith, LOL)
And the pergatory thing... Please tell me why God would send a sinless baby NOT to Heaven? One who has committed no wrongs? They have no accountability to sin at such a young age. I can't see why they wouldn't just go into His arms.
baptism is a very personal choice and so different depending on religion. i was raised Catholic but my parents were not strict with it and we didn't go to church, but i was baptized and made communion. i had some disagreements with my church when it came time for confirmation, so i left. DH and i found a church/religion that we were both comfortable and happy with. we dont go regularly, which i feel bad about - but with DH's work schedule its just impossible. but i still wanted DD baptized right away. i think that whole "limbo" thing that i was taught in CCD really stuck in my brain. and i still think that she can make a choice when she is old enough (like i did to leave my church and change religions) but this way she will have a basic knowledge and understanding to base that decision on. also, i wanted her to wear a family heirloom (sp?) christening gown, and i needed for it to fit her (she was a lot bigger than the rest of us that wore it and we were all christened at around 2-3 months).
that being said - i dont judge those who do not christen their children or those that choose to do it later in life. it certainly doe snot make them bad parents!!! IMO religion has nothing to do with whether youre a "good" or "bad" parent.
Thank you! I don't believe in hell, purgatory or heaven for that matter. I am clearly not religious. OP- If you don't believe in any of it, don't baptize your child. Who cares what other people say? Your religious beliefs or lack thereof are none of anyone's business.
Signed,
The girl who was raised Catholic (baptized, confirmed, etc.), but doesn't believe in any of it.
Personally, I feel that anyone who feels a child would go to hell if they were to pass away prior to baptism is interpreting scripture in a vastly different way than I do.My LO isnt baptized -- I feel they should be able to choose on their own. I wasnt raised to go to church and do all that jazz -- my mother did everything with us at home and I liked it that way.. My significant other was raised Catholic and in the two years that I have been with him he has yet to attend church other than for funerals. I would be more open to baptizing our LO if we were regular members of a church, which I would like to do eventually. My SO may think differently but doesn't say much to me about it so far. Yet, even if he did I would have a hard time doing it since neither of us are practicing Catholics. In addition, I have been the godparent of a Catholic child and dont feel its right to promise to raise a child in a particular faith if you dont intend to stay that faith indefinitely. Since he was my godchild I was alright with it because it wasnt my child and was his parents wishes...
I havent been baptized and don't feel any different. I am a Christian and don't feel its needed in my case. Either way the single act of baptism isnt going to determine if you are a good parent or not.
It is a touchy subject, but do what you feel is right and what goes along with your beliefs!
I am a Christian that goes to church every single Sunday and prays before every single meal. However, I do not believe babies should be Baptized. In our religion (Baptist), one should only be baptized when they can willingly give themselves to Christ. I did get my children Christened, but that was not a requirement. They wouldn't have gone to hell if I decided not to.
This. Exactly.