moms of 2+

kat.in.the.hat

we've entered the "STOP TOUCHING MY STUFF" phase of having two kids and I'm about to go crazy.

I used to just tell Marion if she didn't want Eliza to have something to just put it on the couch, but now Eliza can reach the back of the couches.  And Marion often doesn't want to go into the playroom since she likes being out where we are.

I just feel that Eliza is still a little too young to understand why she can't touch / play with everything big sister has and it will drive me even crazier to have attempt to redirect the ten month old every time the toddler says "MINE!"

How did you handle this?  

jen5-03

I try to buy 2 of stuff when that's possible.

Escaping Samuel's grabby hands is what got Eloise to play by herself.

If it's something that he absolutely is not allowed to play with like princess dolls with teeny tiny necklaces and shoes, then she had to play with it in her room or not at all. If she just doesn't want him to have it, but it's not something he would break/try to eat/destroy in some way, then she can do it at the table, or in her room, or she can share.

I've also taught her to try to distract him and to get him a cool toy too, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't

lilycat

-- Most toys are communal.

-- Precious things have a special shelf where the older can put things. 

-- Things that are genuinely communal can live on the precious shelf for a couple of days and then I quietly move them to the general toy bins. I understand the need to have your stuff, but you can't horde everything.

-- L is not allowed to flaunt or tease with a toy or he has to give it up for a bit.

-- I rely on redirecting the younger one. 

-- Being a middle, I know well how it is to be on both sides. I honestly sympathize with both.

-- Legos, lots and lots of legos - these know no owner and encourage cooperative play. 

SageBeginnings

lilycat:

-- Most toys are communal.

-- Precious things have a special shelf where the older can put things. 

-- Things that are genuinely communal can live on the precious shelf for a couple of days and then I quietly move them to the general toy bins. I understand the need to have your stuff, but you can't horde everything.

-- L is not allowed to flaunt or tease with a toy or he has to give it up for a bit.

-- I rely on redirecting the younger one. 

Ditto all of this except we have special boxes, not shelves, that go under beds. Wow, I swear we must be spying on each other because this was eerily like 'hey, we do that!'

With 5, we live in a communal household for most things. If it is something more 'age appropriate, they have personal bins for those things... 

kat.in.the.hat

so when the littles are too little to understand the concept of special toys (which we have those too), do you just ask the bigger one to go play by themselves if they want to play with those toys? 

darva

kat.in.the.hat:

so when the littles are too little to understand the concept of special toys (which we have those too), do you just ask the bigger one to go play by themselves if they want to play with those toys? 

That is typically how we handle it. 

 things they don't want to share, go in their bedrooms (most of Micaela's stuff stays there. lol)  Anything in the play room is up for grabs for anyone to play with.  If they don't want to share what they are playing with, then they have to go to their room or they can play for an allotted amount of time and then have to share with the other one.  I typically use redirection for Sam, but it doesn't work all that well anymore.  If Kaitlyn has been playing with something for a while and Sam wants to play, I typically tell K to let Sam play with it for a while and then she can have it back (Samantha usually forgets after a few minutes anyway). 

savannah11

kat.in.the.hat:

so when the littles are too little to understand the concept of special toys (which we have those too), do you just ask the bigger one to go play by themselves if they want to play with those toys? 

Yes.  We told O to take it upstairs to his room or on to the kitchen table.  We also tried our best to redirect.  When we had the gate on the stairs he would hide his prized possessions on the steps.  If he didn't want to move it then he had to deal with sharing.   

TexasPaige

Ugh. Ryan started crawling this week, so we have only just begun to have this problem. William knows he is supposed to share with Ryan, but it isn't fair for him to have to give up what he's playing with every time Ryan goes for it. I am not looking forward to this battle escalating. Ryan really has no clue he is doing anything wrong, and William can only be so patient before he starts getting ticked off.

So I'm no help! 

lilycat

Yes. That's the best I can do. Sometimes I can sell it as a privilege of being older. (Water coloring at the table is only for big kids, for example.)