If you are expecting and have a toddler at home

YaraC

Many of you are much further along than me so I'm wondering if you have any book or video recommendations for preparing your toddler for the new baby? Caroline's world is going to be rocked by this and I want her to understand it as well as a 2 year old can  beforehand.

Peppernut

Man, I wish I knew.  All we have is a book about "I'm a big sister now."  There are parts in some of my other parenting books about introducing babies to toddlers, the main things they say tend to be make sure the first time the toddler meets the new baby the baby is *not* in your arms, if both babies are crying at once (and neither is clearly urgent) take care of the older baby first, and try to include the toddler any way you can and let her help.

The attitude the books seem to advise is amused tolerance for the new baby.  One book even implies it feels a little like it would if your husband were adding a newer, younger wife, which is a comparison that really skeeves me out but it kind of gives me a good mindset to aim for. 

 

bridgeybride

We have a few versions of I'm a Big Sister! books..too.  I think someone mentioned another one for parents called something like "raising a willful child".. that has a chapter on introducing a new sibling. I've been meaning to look it up.

I have Toddler 411 which helps and mentions it briefly...

What I've done, as my tummy has grown.. is talk about the baby in my belly as her brother.. and his name (Daniel). and now she talks to "aniel" (she leaves off the D) and says goodnight to the baby..rubs/kisses my belly... etc.. I also just got her a babydoll, stroller and babydoll pack n play.. which she has really gotten into playing with.  She started giving her sippy cup to the baby, which was so cute.. so I gave her one of the baby's bottles yesterday... was really precious.  She walks around with the baby under her arm.. so so cute.  One of my friends said to give her the babydoll at the hospital (but she found the bag and I HAD to give it to her last week)...   Good luck!

yankeebear

Our DD is a little bit older so she seems to understand very well what is going on and is really excited for the new baby.  But I am also worried about the changes in her routine.  Right now she is the only grandchild and is used to being the center of everyone's world.  All that will surely change.  I got a few books about new siblings that a friend loaned me, but I think it will just be a matter of getting into a new routine and dealing with difficulties as they arrive.

varkeyr

I never had a problem introducing my sons to their new sibling. My second son was two and welcomed him baby brother with open arms. I just included him as much as I could. In fact he would cuddle up to me while I nursed his brother. Now my 6 year old totally resented his sister and is still her archenemy.

YaraC

Thanks all. I've certainly been reading articles and such on how to prepare the toddler. I was just hoping someone new of a book or a video designed for the toddler that addresses getting a new sibling.

I wasn't clear in my original post.  

babyAutumn

When I was expecting my DS, DD was just over a year.  We waited to tell her until I was showing so it would be a little easier to explain.  We got her involved by having her help fold and put away new baby's clothes, reading lots of stories about having a new sibling.  The local library is  a great source for this and the librarians can be pretty helpful.  Given that the new baby was going to need the crib, we also transitioned her to a toddler bed at 18 months so that she didn't associate having to give up her bed with the new baby.  She was 21 months when our son was born and she seemed to handle it pretty well.  It helps that I had a year off and was able to give her more attention than she had ever had.

Punter2009

A few of the mums at my mothers group have just had 2nd babies and all seem to be doing just fine. Even better than fine. The toddlers are in love and very protective of their new baby siblings

I think all of them gave a present to the toddler 'from the baby' while in hospital. One got a toy stroller and baby doll, another got a thomas the tank engine toy etc. Thats what Ill be doing too.

fingers crossed hey lol