Im going to place.

HayleyProudMama

Its scarier the second time around.. Igot a notice today of eviction, I got"let go" at work, I have no place to live and honestly I feel like a *** mother, I feel like im worthless and it sucks because I felt I was so ready, and i just need someone anyone. Im afraid for myself right now.  Please someone

jaartlvr

can you talk to your child's ap's? and/or is there anyone that worked on the adoption process that time around (social worker, lawyer, counselor) that you can call? hang in there - you will make it through this. i'm hoping that, through your last adoption experience, there might be someone who could sit down with you to talk this out? sending you thoughts and prayers.

HayleyProudMama

Ive moved since then, so all the wonderful people that talked to me and helped are thousands of miles away.. Her AP's have been amazing, but its different talking to someone who has adopted oppossed to a birthmom, she is an awsome women but she doesnt get the giving up, she is doing the getting, Yeah she as  had heartbreak i just dont always feel like I can fully spill veeryhting to her... 

bhead81

Like the PP said, is there a SW you can talk to about getting resources.  There are things like WIC and rent assistance programs to help you if you think you can find a place before the baby comes.  I am sorry to hear you are having to go through this and if you do determine you need to place your children, I hope your journey is short.  There are a lot of great adoptive parents out there so I hope you can find some peace.

Lots of prayers headed your way!!!

bhead81

Would your previous APs be willing to match again for your twins?  This way if you do need to place they would be with family.  Just another thought. 

Nature Lover

I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time.  Everyone has difficult times and that doesn't make you a bad person.  In fact, the fact taht you placed one child already and are considering this baby's needs above your own means you have a wonderful heart.  You are right in that its jsut not the same to talk to someone who hasn't been through what you're going through.  If you feel comfortable posting your city I am sure lots of us would be willing to do some research and send you names of agencies in your area that could help.  Or if you're not comfortable posting it, send it to me in a private message and I'll do some research myself. You also could contact your last agency.  Even though they are thousands of miles away, they could very likely get you some help where you are now, put you in contact with a local agency, or even handle the adoption themselves and get you soe support locally.  Many agencies will handle adoption nation wide.  Either way, I hope you find some peace and that your situation turns around soon.  The best of luck to you.

HayleyProudMama

I've talked to them about it, and I tink what really worrys them is that its twins, its a big commitment that they dont know if they are ready to jump into. I told them that once I made my decision either way I would tell them and they could discuss if twins was in there cards. That being said I don want to really put myself out there as a avaiable birthmom until ive talked to them because I would be beyond deleighted to have them together. I live in Boston, MA right now and really hate it its to far from AP's and i really do miss them. One of my biggest fears is rejection, maybe it doesnt really apply to this situation but I am afraid of not finding anyone im overwhelmed. Either way I wnat to start making decisions because these are two babies I either need to start looking for AP's and talk to a lawyer or agency. Or start getting a house and baby things...

MissDaisy79

I saw in another post that you are in Boston.  I am also in MA and have some experience with this.  I hihgly recommend calling your State Representative.   If you don't know who that is, you can look it up here: https://www.wheredoivotema.com/bal/myelectioninfo.php

They can help connect you services, like rental assitance, etc.  The fact that you are pregnant is going to helo qualify you for emergency services.

You can also call MBHP.  They do housing assistance. And are wonderful. https://www.mbhp.org/

I know this is scary but there are resources for you.  But call your State Rep.  This is what they are there for.  Tell them you are pregnant, and what you need help with. They will ask you questions about your income, etc to see what you qualify for.

Nature Lover

There will be LOTS of resources in Boston.  You can do a Google search for adoption agencies in Boston and then choose which ones you are interested in talking to.  In the meantime, here are a few that I found in a search:  Best of luck to you.  Now that you have made the decision to place, I am sure a wonderful and loving family willbe found for the twins.

 

Boston Adoption Bureau -

(617) 227-1336 -

 

2Massachussetts Adoption Rsrc -

(617) 542-3678 -

 

3Maps International -

(617) 267-2222 -

 

4Communities for People... -

(617) 572-3678 -

 

5Catholic Charities -

(617) 542-4815 -

MayDayGirl

I understand needing someone other than an AP to talk to. I would call some local adoption agencies. They will give you counseling and guide you in this plan. I guarantee you that there will be plenty of families who are open to twins. Maybe not the one you already chose, but someone. And your agency will help you find them.

 

Also if I were you, I would find a family who was open to being in relationship with your other DD and her family.

 

I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. you definitely need some support and I suggest finding a good agency to walk you through this.

 

HUGS.

amm78

I agree with what a lot of previous posters have said.  If you really do want to parent your babies, but feel that you can't because of finances, there are resources available to help you get on your feet.

If you do decide to place these babies, I would talk to an agency and get some counseling on your options.  It's always a good idea to have someone help guide you through everything.

 

Either way, though, you are absolutely not a bad mother.  Everyone goes through tough times and deals with bad situations.  You'll pull through.  

baze2

I agree with PP. The resources in Boston are awesome. the agencies there will offer counseling and support. Perhaps even some financial assistance. Have you called any of the adoption agencies and asked for help? I am sure they can help point you in the right direction.

You are a brave woman. You can get through this. The heartache is huge, I know. Hang in there. And please use this board for help, education, support or whatever you need it for. We are all here to help each other.